Question for men

>>17455407
No.

>>17455407
Nope

Nope.

No, where's the fun in that?
Would you wanna have sex with your bf if he wasn't into it?

I understand. I would be unhappy if my bf didn't care either. However, some guys stay in the relationship. Why is that? Is it that they love them too much?

>>17455407
I'm trying to but it's gradually leading to resentment and I'm sinking deeper into depression.

>>17455407
I haven't had sex for 21 years so yes

>>17455407
Yes but I'm a khv so even holding hands would be progress from my perspective.

>>17455407
Idk if it's my endurance, or if my gf is bad at it, or if it's something psychological, but it takes me a solid 15-30 minutes to get close to cumming. My girlfriend previously identified as an asexual (not anymore) and we've been together for over a year. I stayed with her because I cared about her, not the sex.

>>17455407
Yes, but only if she's a virgin.

>>17455407
Most men? No. Not at all. 99.9% of men couldn't deal with that.
Me? I'm almost completely asexual. I still fap, might get the urge to have sex like once a month at most unless the person I'm with is wearing ridiculously skimpy clothing and has an amazing outfit, but for the most part, I could deal with it as long as she was a really nice person and could prove to me there was zero chance of her leaving me.
Basically, if I'm not getting sex, and when I am she's only there to be my cocksleeve, it's the biggest investment I'll ever be making, and it better fucking pay off with someone who will unconditionally stay with me.

>>17455453
Cucks/beta maybe. Emotionally dependent would make sense.

>>17455622
An amazing body*

>>17455407

I think thats physically impssobile.

Sometimes I cum when my gf just kisses the tip of my dick.

So no guy will "not cum" during sex.

>>17455407
no
i have been in this situation. it was difficult, but sex drive is a compatibility issue. compatibility must be present for a relationship to succeed

I have trouble cumming usually but I love fucking chicks who aren't into it.

>>17455639
as a sexually active male, ive had sex several times and not been able to cum, specifically related to whether or not i feel like my gf/date is enjoying herself or otherwise into it.

>>17455672

wtf no dude has problems to cum, thats bs

>>17455681
Nice b8 m8. I've fucked for twou hours straight before before losing my bonger without cumming.

>>17455681
[citation needed]

>>17455680
>>17455684
>>17455691

Maybe it is a dick size thing?

Are all the guys here that dont cum well hung?

>>17455407
Sauce on picture?

>>17455696

I am not these guys but as a female I can tell you that according to my "observations" the time it takes the dude to cum correlates with the size of his dick. The bigger (especially longer) the dick is and the sronger ( in the sense of being hard and pointing upwards) the longer it takes the guy to cum and vice versa.

I dont know why it is that way though.

I've never orgasmed from sex with a girl and I've been living with my wife for 4 years.

I just can't get off except to fapping.

>>17455639
>So no guy will "not cum" during sex.
When I fuck my wife for 9th time within 12 hours I usually cannot cum anymore.
Even though my dick is sore etc. being inside her vagina just feels so damn good so I still go for it.

>>17455453
>Why is that? Is it that they love them too much?

A relationship is more than sex. Over time, you become emotionally, socially, and often financially intertwined. You may also end up living together or have children together. All this is on top of the sex.

So even if you stop enjoying sex with someone, you may not immediately leave them.

This doesn't mean everything is fine and that sex doesn't matter. Just like some people stay with people they don't like emotionally, socially, or financially, or who are abusive, or refuse to have kids, or refuse to move in with them, but they stay with them anyway. Doesn't mean that shit doesn't matter.

So they just try to endure it and hope things will change until they get so miserable that they inevitably cheat, try to sabotage the relationship, or leave.

>>17455639

Different strokes for different folks (literally).

In my early 20's, I would cum almost every time with little stimulation. As the years went on, it took longer and longer to achieve orgasm through the same methods and depending on the situation, I might not cum at all if all we're doing is oral or missionary unless I haven't cum in a week. Tickle my balls though and I last about a minute.

Meanwhile, my wife has multiple orgasms from vaginal sex along and finds it much harder to cum from clit stimulation alone to the point where she doesn't even bother with it except as a very brief warm up, after which just wants to jump on the dick.

There are tons of women who are the exact opposite.

Peoples' bodies are weird like that.

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Soo, to piggy back here, what about a girl who's very enthusiastic about sex and sexual activity, but cannot be penetrated due to severe vaginismus? Like a girl that is literally hungry for your dick and will suck and fondle it all day and night if you let her, and you can live out whatever fantasy you want with her, but you just can't stick it in the puss or ass ever?
>Inb4 I already know the answer. I'm nothing but a short term novelty until they can get the real thing.

>>17456702

I could totally work with this. How does said girl feel about BDSM?

And how does she get off?

>>17456524
No one gives a fuck you death-griping retard

>>17456524

Did she know you've never gotten off from a woman when she married you? Did she or you ever imply that you thought this situation would change?

>>17456726
>>17456733
My dick is too big for decent BJs and I hate condoms

If she got on the pill I guess things would change

>>17456718
Literally open to just about anything, I'm not all that experienced so I don't know what I'd necessarily like and not like, but I'm open to try most things.
Only definitive boundaries lie within illegal activity, and unsanitary conditions mostly involving piss, shit, and blood.
I'm even actually into light forms of BDSM, love being tied down, told I'm a whore, spanked, even rape role play.
Just physically cannot be penetrated. Shit's ruining my life. The best I've ever done was after an insanely long foreplay session and cumming twice a dude was able to get a single finger in me about first knuckle deep. It hurt, but wasn't eye watering at least. He had those really slender pianist fingers though.
My clit is very sensitive though.

>>17456702
Why couldn't you fuck her ass?

>>17456761
Too tight, tears, hemorrhoids, same excruciating pain as trying to penetrate the poon. And unsanitary conditions.

>>17456744
What do the doctors say? Isn't vaginismus treatable?

>>17456789
Sometimes it is, sometimes it isn't. I've tried the dilators, the exercises, everything they've thrown at me.
The problem with vaginismus is that it's not very understood, there's not a lot of research put into it, and it's mainly considered psychological. Like, I actually had to go to a couple of gynecologists before I could find someone who even knew more about it than what can be found on Web MD. Specialists are nearly unheard of.
And since it's psychological, treatment mainly depends on how well the patient can just "get over it". It's a mental block that your brain just enacts on its own without thinking.
Like, this example is always used to describe it. Imagine someone is about to stick their finger in your eye. Your involuntary reaction is to blink right? You don't have to consciously think to blink or close your eye, you just do it. Same process is going on down there, but my brain doesn't seem to understand that while fingers aren't supposed to be going into your eye, dicks ARE supposed to be going into my vag. But I can't just turn it off, or consciously try to combat it. It's all involuntary muscle spasms.
My hope is that maybe one day, if I'm super comfortable with a guy and we've been together for a looong time, maybe that block will lift. But I find most dudes don't want to stick around in a sexless relationship that could very well be indefinite for all we know. Longest I've gotten was a 9 month relationship, but he couldn't handle not having penetrative sex and dumped me through text while in bed with another woman literally putting on the condom.
At least he didn't technically cheat I guess right? I'm not even mad. I don't blame him. Nobody wants a broken toy.

>>17456744

A guy, especially a kinky guy, could probably manage a relationship with no anal/vaginal sex if it also included a lot of oral, mutual masturbation, titjobs, thighjobs, armpit sex, handjobs, and various BDSM or roleplay scenes.

My wife and I do all that to the point where we only really engage in vaginal sex maybe once every other week or so. Well moreso if you include when she uses toys on herself, but she likes her Hitachi wand just as much as any dildo.

But the real question would be how much you enjoy all that or if you really personally want to be able to get stuff in your vagina.

The main issue I see is a guy being okay with no penetration, only for you to grow frustrated that you can't be penetrated and acting like your sex life is unfulfilling, which in turns make him feel like he's a failure because he can't penetrate you.

>>My hope is that maybe one day, if I'm super comfortable with a guy and we've been together for a looong time, maybe that block will lift.

I wouldn't bet on this. I'd learn to have all kinds of alternate kinds of sex, learn to legitimately enjoy that kind of sex, and meet other people who also enjoy that kind of sex.

Not hope that you'll meet someone and get so thoroughly bound to them that this deal breaker medical condition will magically go away- and if it doesn't- hope that the person you've become so bound to will be fine. That's a recipe for catastrophe.

>17455820

It's more like the less hard the guy is the longer it'll take to cum, I don't think size plays much of a difference other than if he's too small to actually have sex with a semi then it wont take forever to cum because he can't do it

Mines fairly large and I can see why gay people do straight porn, with a half interested semi it's easy to fuck for ages but hard to cum

>>17456841


It's more like the less hard the guy is the longer it'll take to cum, I don't think size plays much of a difference other than if he's too small to actually have sex with a semi then it wont take forever to cum because he can't do it

Mines fairly large and I can see why gay people do straight porn, with a half interested semi it's easy to fuck for ages but hard to cum

>>17455820

It's more like the less hard the guy is the longer it'll take to cum, I don't think size plays much of a difference other than if he's too small to actually have sex with a semi then it wont take forever to cum because he can't do it

Mines fairly large and I can see why gay people do straight porn, with a half interested semi it's easy to fuck for ages but hard to cum

>>17456841
I mean, its true my concern is the fact that most dudes consider no penetration a dealbreaker. I know there's no such thing as everything and nothing, and that there has to be some dudes out there who truly are ok with never being able to have that kind of sex, but my pool is just so tiny I question if I'd ever even meet them, let alone form a meaningful relationship with them. Most dudes also want biological kids eventually too you know? I can't easily provide that either.
I mean, I'm content with where I am now. I get off well enough with just my clit that I'm happy with it. Frankly I'd only see penetrative sex as something I'd do solely for my partners sake. I wouldn't get anything out of it even if I could do it.
My only desire to be penetrated honestly is to keep a guy. I long for something long term, not just a ONS or a short lived couple month fling. It's all I ever really wanted out of life, to be someone's adoring waifu and someone to dote on. I've always been scared this would be the thing that keeps me from the only thing I've ever really wanted, because sex is so entwined with those activities.

>>17455407
>but didn't seem to care about sex?

I love a girl that's into sex, but I also love a sweet, low-libido girl that offers booty service even though sex in general doesn't interest her.

I kind of get off on riding a girl's ass while she's reading a book or watching a movie. I guess it's a low-level fetish for me.

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>>17456809
I think my ex had this issue, I had a high libido but I didn't mind because I was in love. And I could make myself cum so it was a non-issue for me. She tried for me, and I always felt guilty because I knew and felt it was a negative experience for her. Which made it negative for me. Foreplay she always enjoyed though, which can bring about emotional closeness so I focused on that mostly.

>>17456867
>but my pool is just so tiny I question if I'd ever even meet them, let alone form a meaningful relationship with them

You're stuck with non-conventional sexuality: like a gay person, or a trans person, or a person who can only really get off in a diaper, or in the presence of shoes.

And just like all those people often wish they were born "normal" so they could have a normal idealistic life, so do you.

So just like all those people, you are going to find it hard, if not impossible to find a regular person and hoping your sexuality or their sexuality changes. And just like those people, trying to marry someone with conventional sexuality and "tough it out" without actually accepting that things will never change is going to result in one or both of you being miserable and eventually leaving.

And just like those people are best served by going to specific real life and online communities in search of partners, the same is true of you.

This is why I kept mentioning "kinky" guys. You're going to have to account for the small selection by going specifically to communities for kinky folks who are fine with all kinds of non-vaginal/anal sex.

I'd start reading up online about various communities. If you live in a small town, then it's time to look into moving into a larger one in order to improve your prospects and avoid gossip from people with more conventional sexuality.

As far as the positive news goes, women in the kink scene are in even shorter supply and greater demand, which generally affords them a great deal more deference, respect, and an even greater number of potential suitors. Try not to get drunk with power.

>>17456897
I'm just so autistic about online interactions and meetings. It feels so robotic and inorganic, I've tried it before but I've never been able to shake that impersonalness and form a genuine connection.
I'm also going into a career where I'm expected to be an asexual saint, so if I were ever caught at at irl meeting revolved around sexuality, especially abnormal sexuality, I'd be fired immediately and I'd never find a job in my field ever again.

Sorry, I'm not trying to sound like a defeatist here but I just already know how incredibly difficult it's going to be trying to date and find someone to look around this. But I'm also on this dreaded timeline. Most of my friends are settling down with people and planning to get married, whereas I haven't had a significant date in 4 years. I'm in the prime of my life right now, I'll never look as good as I do now, I'll never be as free as I am now, this is the time I'm supposed to be finding someone. If I wait too much longer, I'll be an old worn out hag nobody's really going to want. Plus the older I get the more likely I'll have to settle for some divorcee looking for his 4th wife with kids and I really just don't want that life.

The ticking clock is just added pressure. By the time I have the money to move out and seek out these resources, I'll be too old to act upon them.

>>17455407

Yeah I would stay. If the bitch is in love with me but isn't into my actual dick, then that's MY problem and MY failure as a dude. Because her being in love and not wanting the D means either 1) you can't fuck her right 2) you're in denial about her loving you and she's gonna leave you as soon as another guy cones around or 3) she loves you but is sticking around because she's getting some raw animal dick from another dude and getting mushy feelings of love from you

You either need to go to the gym or learn how not to be such a faggot in bed

>>17456867
Isn't there some form of counseling to deal with that ? You said in an earlier post it's psychological. Also isnt the fact that you are worrying about these things detrimental too?

>>17456960

Oops sorry, I read OP again and had the genders mixed up in my mind

Bitch - your guy probably has some sort of cum anxiety. That's his problem, not yours.

However, if you truly think that he can't cum because you're a dead fish in bed, then there's something wrong underlying the relationship. Sounds like you're TOO comfortable with each other. Every time I fuck my girl, we fuck like it could be our last time together. We each bring our game ever single time because of the understanding that if it ever became boring, we would just stop completely and find other people

>>17456960
There are more reasons to why someone doesn't want to have sex anymore than just that.

>>17456991
Elaborate

>>17456921

Moving to a large city will help you avoid stigma and people being in your personal business so it'll be a safe move if you're worried about your career.

I'm not saying you have to go to an orgy or party, but talking to another woman or a friend who knows a guy or just sex advice in general is going to help you a lot.

And you can learn to get better at online stuff. I don't think anyone would begrudge you admitting you're bad at online chatting and want to meet for coffee.

You want it this bad then you gotta take the plunge now. All those older guys on their 4th marriage were also bein unrealistic about their situations and thinking they could power through a miserable relationship or magically change themselves or their partner.

You should let him get you pregnant. I feel that having a baby will help fix your relationship and therefore your sex life

>>17456980
Yeah, it is kind of like one of those never ending shit loops.
Worry too much because I have vaginismus because I worry too much because I have vaginismus, etc etc etc.
I mean, I get I'm probably a self fulfilling prophecy here but it's hard to shake that loop when statistics back my thought process.
I mean at the age I'm at if sex isn't on the table by at least the 3rd date guys give up and move on. It's hard enough to find someone willing to actually call me their girlfriend, let alone having to explain so quickly into meeting someone that I physically cannot have sex with them.

>>17455407
Sex is just part of the relationship so you're just asking
>would men be interested in a woman who isn't active in the relationship
And I think you'll find your answer.

>>17455407
HAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAAA
No.

>>17457060

There are plenty of decent guys who don't expect sex on the 3rd date. You're placing expectations on yourself that don't even exist at this point.