Forgivence

>>17450045
Depends what it is. Cheating, no going back.

360 and walk away

>>17450045
I don't really know what forgiveness is, but I'm capable of accepting the reality of a person as who they are, the reality of the past as it is, and that I have priorities higher than justice. This has enabled me to not get hung up on the past, while still being able to learn from it.
For example, I grew up in an abusive household, but I'm predominantly not mad and that enables me to put my energy to building things.
The turn the other cheek and resist not evil things can enable you to walk forward without needing to constantly look back.
None of this requires you to like the person, although that may follow, given that we tend to appreciate everything we don't have resistance to. In some ways, 'forgiveness', as I understand it, is extremely cold. It is unemotional. It allows the anger to resolve. You stop internally imposing standards on a person and strategise instead. It's a much more rational approach than asking someone to be what they're not.
People can also change, but they often need a rock bottom event to do so, and they can slip into their old behavior. Forgiving someone is not the same as trusting them. Accepting them may mean trusting them less.

>>17450880
I'll also add that it's necessary to grieve for the person you thought they were, which is that feeling of loss when you reduce or remove your standards from someone internally. The fear of losing my parents, of holding on to hope for them, was a waste of time. It was extremely sad to lower my expectations for them drastically, but I now have a better sense of who they are and we actually get on well.

>>17450889
>>17450880
Thank you for that.