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Hey folks
I was raised as a single spoiled kid. My parents trusted me a lot, so while I had a lot of freedom in my childhood, noone ever pushed me to work on or explore my talents.
School I hated. I was never punctual. Even in elementary school I constantly arrived late and failed to conform to the standards such as having your folders and booklets sorted correctly, using proper form when writing homework, etc. A teacher that I respected very much said "anon your problem is that you rely on your intelligence too much" and that describes perfectly why I wasn't kicked out. Grades 1 through 6 I never had to do anything but study the evening before the exam to get good grades. After that I refused to work longer, my grades went terrible fast and the only reason the school tolerated me for so long is because some teachers saw me as some sort of super smart kid with unfulfilled potential, it was those teachers that made it so I could go up into the next school years despite my grades being technically too bad.
It wasn't all failures though, occasionally I had some real good grades. Over the years, a pattern appeared. Apperently I am putting effort into things that have creative or liberal elements. Stuff like "pick any math topic and create a half hour presentation" or "write an analysis of a work of your choice by this artist", whenever I wasn't constrained by strict times or finding specific solutions it seemed that I developed a desire to succeed. It was those projects that made some teachers believe in me and make others tolerate me.
That wasn't good enough however, after a while my undisciplined behaviour couldn't be tolerated anymore and I became a school dropout. First thing I did is picking a simple job just to start earning money, but it was too similiar to school: be there at specific times and do simple shit you don't care about until a specific hour. I got depressed and dropped it after one and a half years.
(have to split long post in two parts)
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It was at this point I realized that my future needed to be like the good work I did in school, it needed to be not bound by specific schedules, I should be able to work on my own pace and pick my own challenges, be my own boss for the most part. Something freelance, maybe starting my own business even.
My first thought was to learn a skill and then work independently with it, so I applied for an apprenticeship. Once again I failed to handle the simpleton tasks and schedule enforced by my employer. My depression became crippling the more I worked, after a year I quit.
The last few years I also tried teaching skills myself, but this failed too, I fail miserably at making myself learn regularly.
Right now I am at a low point, I live with my parents and am out of ideas. Becoming a qualified worker requires conforming to the industrial standards with I despise, making my own path requires self-descipline and talent wich I was never taught.
I do not wish to stay a sloth, that is why I am asking for advice. Where do I start to develop self-motivation and a desire, not a dependance, to stay productive?
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Think about it this way man, you gotta do what you gotta do to get to where you only gotta do what you wanna do.
You,me and the astounding majority of 4chan are people who were too smart to have to try in school so when time came to actually try we didn't know how. I dropped out too because school became mind numbingly boring and useless for me cus I could teach myself what I was interested in and had no desire to do things I didn't enjoy, I reached a point however where I couldn't afford to do the things I wanted to because of no training or income. I ended up getting a job at a gym I frequent because I like working out and am now getting certified as a CPT and also starting my first college year in September for media design.
tl;dr find stuff you don't completely hate doing (shrooms helped a lot with this) and use it as work and stable income till you figure out the rest.
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You wernt raised spoiled you just developed laziness...
School isn't just for people to learn it also introduces you to social situations aND accustoms you to a life of moneycuckery.
You will NEVER has a successful bussiness untill you learn discipline and you will always lack that when you are lazy.
If I were you i wpuld try to get into a routine.. be it running / lifting etc. And work on your health to start with. Exercise is both good for your body and good at releasing endorphens (which make you feel less depressed)
FYI good grades till the 6th grade is actualy below average level of intelligence most kids don't have to start studying untill 8 or 9th grades .. I havnt "studied" a day in my life (other than effective note taking I guess....) and i have a masters degree.
Then again im intelligent enough to not have to study.
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>>17449125
Ha-ha. I'm single spoiled (read: upper-middle) kid as well. I have developed the same traits, but the only difference that I've been pushed and pressed to be successful by any means. To redone the job I've been doing for 2 hours thoroughly and for my own interest, just because I missed the letter somewhere. Man, I was 11 at that time. I was told that they had """european""" parenting method, so that's why I hadn't been beaten yet. None to say, how many insults did I hear from them? I was unable to answer. "How you dare to yell at your parents?" And a wave of prohibitions and control goes again, and again. "Why don't you participate in everything where you could? You think you're the smartest one?", "I regret that you were born". The one thing is to hear shit like that from random people from 4chan, but how should have I reacted when I was a child?
Shallow fucking cunts. I can't speak with people without hands shaking and do something while someone looks at the process.
Guess what? I'm a asocial basement dweller with no friends who might be shifting responsibility onto my parents, who also fears to do anything but sitting at home. Grass is always greener.
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