Sexual Assault

>>17445640
yes you are a piece of shit. did you just molested them or did you raped them?

I groped the first one's breasts in front of everyone. I made out with and fingered the second one on the front lawn of a party. She was fondling me, so I thought she was into it, but later she said I raped her. I was out of my mind so I really don't know exactly what happened.

>>17445640

You got any charges for it? If you're not on a register of any kind you're fine, just move out and live a new life. Not easy by any means - I would not like to be in your position.

But tell me, were you depressed before this? Were you a wreck or in a bad state?
If you were take this as a chance to go live a new life, and leave your old one behind. Follow some dreams and grab life by the balls and make it give you what you want. Not many successful people are inherently good people anyway.

You made a very bad decision and you can only blame so much of this on alcohol. I'll never know the full story and for all I know you could be a victim of very strange double standards in which a girl can decide you raped her AFTER sex.
Either way you'll need to move on eventually. Brooding over the past won't change anything.

>>17445674
No charges. I was in an extremely bad place with the first one, and I just got way, waaaaaay too drunk for the second.

That's what I've done. It all went down five years ago, and I've done about everything you mentioned. I'm happy with who I am now, but sometimes the guilt gets to me something awful. The anxiety of it catching up to me too. I'd say I've moved on, but I won't ever reallynbe ever to forget

It's been 5 years. You still feel guilt for it.

You're clearly not the same person that you were then. Life goes on. Every day above ground is a good day, so look ahead, not behind.

>>17445689
Man, people have done a lot worse. I'd never sugarcoat what you did but desu as long as you didn't scar any girls, which I doubt you did - It was at a party, not to be an asshole but the chick was probably out to get laid anyway.

People have turned to Jesus for less and lived a life of forgiveness and repentance.

Everyone has demons, anon. Just appreciate life while you can. I'm probably not as depressed as you but I'm feeling really terrible right now and even I can tell you that life is so wonderful when you just let it sink in.

>>17445695
>>17445714

Thanks yall. This helps.I'll keep moving forward and doing my best.

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>>17445714

>not to be an asshole but the chick was probably out to get laid anyway.

Downplaying the severity of sexual assault by saying the unconscious girl "probably wanted it" is the textbook definition of being an asshole.

>>17445822
Bro, she let him take her clothes off, on the FRONT LAWN OF A PARTY, and then said no after the fingering?
I may be an asshole, and I'm not trying to advocate anything here, but that girl has a lot to answer for too.

>>17445640

Were your victims minors? Are you a registered sex offender?

>>17445822
Where exactly does it say she was unconscious you blind fuck?

>>17445831
no and no

>>17445822
>>17445881
she was not unconscious. she was sending me very clear signals and then was fondling me

>>17445883

You're extremely fortunate that you're not registered. That would literally ruin your life. One of my co-workers had a similar experience with a girl who turned out to be underage at the time. He spent some time in prison and had to register. Re-offended less than three years later and is now in for 50+. There was always something really off about him.

>>17445909
I know. I feel the same way about people I know have done the same thing. It's just kind of weird, even if they've changed.

My issue is less about my life being over, and more about the crushing guilt and loss of my friends.

Hos gun be hos, just move on. No, you shouldn't have fallen for their tricks but now you know better. Don't do anything sexual with a woman until you are in a bedroom together and she's undressing you

No reason to mill over it anymore

>>17445892
Mate you haven't raped anything. Seems like it's all been blown the fuck out of proportion.

>>17446008
I didn't say raped. But I was out of control of my body and I crossed boundaries

>>17445652
>I groped the first one's breasts in front of everyone.

That's fucked up. I'm always afraid I'll do some stupid shit like this while drunk. People have already hinted at me getting a bit too horny and pushy when I get wasted, so I usually avoid drinking too much, but when I'm particularly down and low in self-esteem I tend to break this discipline, and I think that's the period when I get the most aggressive and in need for self-validation.

>>17446085
you pretty much nailed it on the head. I was dealing with my big break up and I was extremely bummed out and needing validation. Practice self-care man. Don't let yourself get to that point. Don't get too drunk.

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>>17445881
>>17445892

>I sexually assaulted two girls while very, very drunk

I misinterpreted OP's original sentence. I thought he was implying that the girls were drunk not him.

>>17445892

If she was sending you very clear signals and fondling you then why do you feel horrible? Either you feel horrible or you want to justify it. You can't do both.

Only you and these girls know what really happened. For some reason, I'm not buying that you just fingered a girl and she was into it, then she said rape and now you feel horrible. None of that makes much sense.

You're being sort of contradictory and inconsistent. Why would you feel guilty if the entire experience was consensual and she just cried rape later on? That doesn't add up.

Either it wasn't consensual or you're lying about how it went down. I'm not sure which.

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>>17446112
The second girl was also very drunk.

I think I feel guilty because i got caught. If I compartmentalize the experience with second girl then I don't feel too guilty. I wish I hadn't been as horribly drunk as I was, so I could have more certainty in what happened.

Most of the guilt comes from the shame of being exiled from my group of friends, and the fact that I had blatantly grabbed at the girl in the first situation. I guess I feel like shit because I'm definitely capable of a lot worse if the circumstances were different.

I dont know if there can be consent if neither party is in control. I feel guilty because I lost a lot of friends, so it feels like I did something wrong.

Does that make sense?

>>17446112
Not him but I don't know why you wouldn't feel bad. Things that suck generally make people feel bad.

>>17446146

>I wish I hadn't been as horribly drunk as I was, so I could have more certainty in what happened.

So now you're saying that due to you being drunk you're not actually certain what happened? There's something you're not telling us, OP. You're muddying up your own story on purpose now.

>I think I feel guilty because i got caught

Again, you're not making sense. You just spent the past few posts justifying what happened by saying she was fondling you, she sent you clear signals, she took off her clothes and she consented. So if thats really how you feel then what is there to get "caught" doing?

How can one possibly get "caught" doing something when, according to your own posts, you didn't do anything wrong?

>I feel guilty because I lost a lot of friends, so it feels like I did something wrong.

You're lying out of your ass, OP. No rational person I know would feel guilty just because other people told them to.

Like I said, there's something you're not telling us.

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And even though you were at rock bottom, everyone told you to fuck off?

Wasn't there anybody going "bro, it was bad but I understand" or "I'm here for you, just not in public" or whatever?

If any of my mates did something stupid like that, as long as it wasn't a girl-yelled-for-help scenario, I'd still be there for him to help him get his shit together.

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>>17446200
>You're lying out of your ass, OP. No rational person I know would feel guilty just because other people told them to.
I would and often do
It's mostly self pity but I still feel bad

>>17446200
I don't know if you're trolling me or not. I'm not going to put much effort into responding to you because I feel like you're not really reading my posts and you're showing a lack of emotional depth

>>17446210
While shit was going down I had a few bros who were good friends and listened to what I had to say. They were my lifeline and kept me from actually making the jump and killing myself. I think i said almost everyone. Eventually those relationships fizzled out because I had to move on from those social circles. If I were to contact them today we could shoot the shit, but I won't be close with them I don't think.

I wasn't totally abandoned, but I was excommunicated from the community I was part of.

>>17446268
Well, you're better off than catfucker. Almost identical scenario. 'cept he buggered a cat.

>>17446276
in front of people??

>>17446287
Well... yes and no.

>>17446294
>yes and no
Ok dude explain urself

>>17446299
It had to be surgically removed. It later died on the way back to it's home planet.

>>17445640
Honestly you should just kill yourself

>>17446300
dude I am way too high for this shit

>>17446302
i think about it all the time

>>17446303
You're telling me.
Copped a felony, disowned by family and abandoned by everyone he knew. Lost his job of course. Got in his car, drove until it stopped. Got a construction job and lived out of his car for six months.

Trust me, you're doing fine. For a drunk asshole you weren't exactly hitler.

>>17446316
This makes me feel a little better. I hope he's doing alright. Thanks man.

>>17446313
just do it then, humanity doesnt need your kind of people

>>17446323
He's doing fine, he just can't buy guns. Found out about his story in a thread about black powder revolvers on /k/.

>>17446328
this is a low effort troll. i feel like shit, have done bad things in the past, and am looking for support. i have changed and am contributing to the greater good.

go fuck yourself.

Alcohol is the devil in liquid form, man. As a former alcoholic I tried to kill myself twice. Worst years of my life. Meanwhile, under a marijuana habit, I've gotten my shit together in ways I never thought possible. I actually have a damn life now. Drinking is never worth it, man.

>>17446349
i've had a similar experience. Booze turns me into a fucking monster everytime. it's weird because the stereotypical marijuana user jerks their life away, but i feel like it's really helped me to cope with my problems and then enabled me to move forward and build something out of myself.

keep on keeping on, man

>>17445652
>She was fondling me, so I thought she was into it, but later she said I raped her.

female privilege in action. you probably both regret it, but she gets to call you a rapist and wash herself of any responsibility, even though you did equivalent things to each other. I can't say about the first one though.

>>17446339
you're telling me to fuck myself but you know i'm right and that you want to do it so do it, it's clear you'll never be a good person no matter how hard you try, just end it soon

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>>17446365
the first incident was admittedly fucked. nothing to be done. i fucked up. it couldve been a lot worse, but the point remains that i crossed a boundary.

i would like to believe that the second incident could be as you said. it would definitely ease some guilt. but i keep finding perspectives that make me out to be a rapist, and they seem valid.

i guess i need to put more thought into what consent is, and who if anyone could be in the wrong

>>17446365
what you're saying is making a lot of sense though

>>17446376
low effort, dude

>>17446268
Damn, people can be unforgiving. Although I can't blame them completely, assuming that most didn't understand the depth of your situation.

Look, going back to the OP, I don't have any criminal shit I've done in the past but I do have some really embarrassing stuff that I'm always afraid will come up. In fact, my life has been a constant accumulation of those. So I have a vague feeling of what it's like to expect something about you to be revealed to people you care about, how this might affect their perception of you, and the anxiety that comes with it.

Assuming that this is more or less what you meant by
>but sometimes I feel helpless and get really anxious that it will catch up to me and I'll lose everyone again.

Then I have to say that my first advice, which might be a bit misguided, is to just cut off that previous milieu like it's 127 Hours. If it was really bad to the point where people are still angry at you and feel like you're some type of rapist, then you can't periodically show up in parties or their Facebook notifications. They have to forget you exist, so they won't have any reason to expose you. Continueing to be friends with one or two people from that group will also remind you of how much you might miss it, keeping that feeling of loss alive. It's like an ex. You can't talk to her every week and expect to move on.

About guilt, fuck it. If you stole $100 from charity you would feel bad, but if you spent 5 years in jail because of it you wouldn't, because the punishment was not in proportion with the crime. You've lost people, you had your reputation damaged, you suffer guilt and anxiety. That's just too much for gropping some tits. So you might as well get rid of the last two ones.

If for some reason it does catch up to you, then just play it off like it was no big deal. If it sticks, then you should just confront people if they start judging you and acting weird, ask them what's up, and if they want to isolate you again, so be it.

>>17446390
Thanks man. This is all really good advice. Ive saved it for later.

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OP is off to bed guys. Thanks for the talk. Keep on being good. I'll try to do the same.

>>17445640
>She was fondling me
So two people who are both drunk do the same things to one another, but you sexually assaulted her?

OP don't feel guilty. It wasn't sexual assault, she just changed her mind after the fact. This is just feminism in action.

>>17446015
You didn't cross boundaries. She was touching you and you were touching her. Both of you were drunk. Both of you did the exact same actions to one another.

She woke up regretting it, that's all.

>>17445652
Second one doesn't even morally count, you don't need to feel bad about that one. She was a cunt, if she was fondling you then she obviously raped you too.
The first one though, yes it was fucked up and wrong, however a titty grab isn't the most psychologically scarring thing in the world. You should feel bad about it, and now you're having to live with the consequences of it.
I think you're going to have to start over, be thankful these girls didn't press charges and you have to be put on a list. If you genuinely do feel bad about all this, then you're into a good start. Move on with your life, make some new friends, perhaps talk to a therapist. I know it seems weird for the molester to talk to a therapist about how shitty he feels for being a shitty person, and it'll be hard to get sympathy, but give it a go. I would not mention any of this experience to your new acquaintances until you're on very good terms with them. Let them see the good new you before you tell them about the past bad you. If/when you do find it appropriate to tell them about it, voice it in the way you're telling us. Express to them the guilt you feel over it, tell them exactly what happened (especially the second one, I'd say 9/10 if your new friends aren't tumblr hambeasts most people will agree that this chick was just a cunt trying to get around the fact she's a whore), and tell them the steps you've done to ensure you're never going to be like that again. I think most people who have a good friend tell them something like this, will be at least understanding of the effort you've gone through to be a better person, to atone for your crimes so to speak. Some however will be turned off and think you're a creep, "Once a creep, always a creep" and you're going to have to accept that reality too. Just another consequence for your actions. But there will be understanding people out there man.

>>17445640
I don't know if this will help.. but I was drunk one night and lifted up a girls shirt. She apparently was pissed, but like you, I was out my mind. I was TOLD of everything that happened. This is what alleviated the feeling of helplessness and anxiety. I live my life in a "fuck this, fuck that, and fuck you" mentality after this. People you think are your friends should have stopped you from groping this girls boobs right? Well they didn't so "fuck you" to them. Your can't even remember this incident right?, yet you are letting it depress you "fuck that." For all you know, nothing fucking happened. Lastly, stop feeling like a little bitch because of one drunk night. I should be locked up for the shit I do when drunk. "Fuck this."

>>17447400
Also for the record, I'm a woman whos been raped, and I'm gonna go ahead and give the benefit of the doubt here and assume everything you're saying is true. I'd forgive you. If I can honestly and genuinely feel your regret, and your motivation to be a better person, I could forgive you.

>>17447405
>for the record, I'm a woman
Tits or GTFO. If you want special treatment for being a woman, then prove you are one.

>>17446200

You're that same libcuck shitposter from yesterday in the "help my brother" thread yesterday. You're fucking trash, dude. Stop pointing shit out that doesn't exist to make yourself feel smart, faggot

>>17447405
Show those knockers or don't bother knocking