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Communicating between the opposite sex?

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I am honestly having immense difficulty communicating with women in a more than friends manner.

I am a very respectful person, I respect privacy, space and feelings. The problem? You basically have to disrespect women in order to even get them to pay attention to you. Am I wrong? My friends have explicitly told me that women probably see right through me because I care too much. In the sense that I don't do anything without asking them first.

For example, I won't hold a girls hand unless I ask and she says yes. I will never "just do it". Why? Because what if she doesn't want me holding her hand?

I am also deeply bothered by the fact that women will NEVER ask for such things like this. So she wants me to hold her hand.. but she never says so.

What is it about our culture that makes us dislike words so much? We have the gift of direct communication but people would rather not say a word and have people try to read their mind? Women are particularly notorious for this.

Why not just open your mouth and say I would like to kiss you or hold your hand or something?

Am I just like a stealth autist or something? What am I missing?
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You are missing the wrong girl.
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>>17445470

What?

I wish I could find the right girl I guess.

I know the world is almost 50 percent men and 50 percent women but it honestly feels like dudes out number women. Most women my age are taken or not looking.
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>>17445438

>holding the hand of a woman you're getting vibes from is 'disrespect'

you are so delusional it hurts. but lets play along

>whati f she doesn't want me holding her hand.

then she will say so. or she will remove her hand. or she will put up with it for whatever date she agreed to go on (because you have no reason to be holding her hand if oyu didnt ask her on a date) and then just not talk to you later.

her life will go on. the earth will keep spinning. and she wont even think about oyu in a week. thats how little that 'disrespect' means to her. its not a blip on her radar.

just ask girls you are interested in on a date. if they dont want to go ,they will say no or make an excuse. it is not disrespectful to ask a girl on a date.

if she says yes, try to kiss her at the end of your first date. it is not disrespectful to kiss a girl at the end of a first date.

if she agrees to another date, you may now try to hold her hand. if she doesnt want you holding her hand its not disrespectful, it is simply a preference at that point.

>what is it about our culture that makes us dislike words so much

its not about disliking words so much as liking actions. people act like the world would be better if we talked everything out, but it'd be really boring. if a girl blatantly asks for sex, it loses a lot of the appeal for me, for isntance. if she tells me 'im tryna find a boyfriend' it loses the appeal.

i just like to meet girls, see what happens, and act on what i feel is right in that moment. its fun.

but i guess its just 'disrespectful'
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>>17445476

>not looking

this isn't a thing. it just means she isn't into you.

assuming you are in college or have gone to college, you got your information backwards.

women out number men in college. so already, theres more girls than guys.

but women are also less likely to date a man unless he has a college education. guys are more open to dating girls without higher education, and thus end up dating girls who arent simply becuase they care more about looks and personality and vibe than about status.

ergo, if you are a college educated man you have more options than a college educated woman.
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>>17445481

this is full retard advice. There is a couple of good remarks but most of it is tarded. Yolo kissing girls on the first date in todays world is suicide. Maybe 50 years ago this was fine but now, not so much. Women freak out over everything. Not all, but a lot.
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You're an autist. What else is new?
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>>17445498

i speak from experience.

if you do to, that says more about you than it does about the girls.

you can get laid on the first date
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You need to stop blaming women for your own failures. Instead of saying "women are too sensitive and offended by everything" and "women can't communicate" try accepting that there are things that people, both men and women, communicate with things other than words and that YOU don't know how to read them.

I'm assuming you live in a western country, right? I can't imagine how much trouble you'd have if you lived in a country where context is huge and a lot of communication is implicit and has alternative meanings inherent in their culture. But that'd be their fault, right? Not yours, because you lack the ability to take responsibility for your shortcomings.
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>>17445438
Iktf, in a similar situation here.

My problem is that I'm "too polite" due to being sheltered all my life.
I don't know how to show sexual interest because it isn't natural for me, it isn't "good manners".
I can't just be an alpha and let's say pull a girl by her arm in a club and pull her close to me. I can't just eyeball a girl with a smile. I don't even turn around when I see a pretty girl walk by me because I'm afraid everyone around will think I'm a creep for fucks sake.

So I guess we're fucked
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>>17445537

>i could try to overcome some very basic concepts of ego
>but i dont wanna so i guess im fucked

how about you stop thinking the world revolves around you. those people dont fucking care if you check out a girl. those hwo do forget in ten minutes.

jesus whats wrong with you guys
>check out a girl
>old lady behind me giggles
>'oh yes, shes very pretty, isn't she'

a fucking granny approved.
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>>17445537
>my problems are the result of things beyond my control
Jesus Christ, grow up and take some responsibility
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How do I learn to speak Basic White Girl?
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>>17445586

by talking to some
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>>17445438
So I literally talked to a friend about this a few days ago and she said things like this arent simple black and white, but aren't as complicated as we think. Meaning, if she isn't leaning in and you are both in a relationship or on a date, just go for it because she may prefer you to make the first move.
If she's keeping her distance, it's on purpose. She wanted to see what would happen and didn't like the result.
But look, end of the day, opening your mouth and asking her yourself is still better than doing absolutely fucking nothing.
Thread posts: 15
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