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Anonymous
Ending a co dependent relationship 2016-08-09 18:45:04 Post No. 17444721
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Ending a co dependent relationship 2016-08-09 18:45:04 Post No. 17444721
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Okay, been with my girlfriend for 2 years. We met in a therapy group for ex addicts staying clean. (Bad idea i know) but we really helped each other for the first year or so, kept each other honest.
She's beautiful, caring, and I love her, but she's also got PTSD,bipolar disorder and probably has a borderline personality according to her therapist. She doesn't think she'll ever get better and doesn't like talking to doctors or therapists. But she does get very angry at me (even over nothing) she guilt trips me into sex when I'm too tired or my meds are making me feel shitty. She also has terrible panic attacks and flashbacks where she would scream and break things in the apartment (worried neighbors would call the cops, and they'd assume I hurt her)
My own counselor whom I trust very much says it's an abusive relationship, and that i need to get out of it before she gets pregnant or things get worse. I already moved out and it was very hard on both of us but now I feel a little less trapped and scared of her.
My counselor, every single one of my family members, and even my few good friends think I need to leave her. I am going to move in with a friend when I do so that she can't find me (she has a history of violence towards herself and others, been involuntarily committed to hospital before) and my counselor and her son (an attorney) do not want me to tell her in person, they want me to drop off a letter and send a text and after telling her why also warn her not to come find me at work or home (she knows where I work and where I'll go to school)
What do anons? I will be broken hearted and she will be even worse. She relies on me for attention, affection, and security (when she has panic attacks) but she doesn't care or notice that our relationship has destroyed me, I have stomach problems and back and neck issues from stress, I've put off starting school and I get internally furious when she gets angry at me for not doing enough for her or giving her attenti
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She's bad for you. Unhealthy.
You're bad for her.
Maybe in 5 years.
In another world, maybe.
I know you want her.
But it's not helping you or her.
So leave.
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What do?
You clearly know what to do here, last paragraph said it all. You need to leave her before it gets even worse.
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>>17444731
>>17444735
Honestly, thank you for the replies, really the only thing is I know it will crush her but in the end it will be better for her because she might grow from it as a person, but she may not and I really worry she'll hurt herself in the mean time
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Anyone have any experiences similar to this? Is there a better way? I've also considered possibly acting like an ass long enough so that she'll break up with me and feel like she hadn't lost control, that's what triggers (unironically) her the worst is feeling out of control
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>>17444721
>PTSD
>bipolar disorder
>probably has a borderline personality according to her therapist.
>But she does get very angry at me (even over nothing)
>she guilt trips me into sex when I'm too tired or my meds are making me feel shitty.
>She also has terrible panic attacks and flashbacks where she would scream and break things in the apartment (worried neighbors would call the cops, and they'd assume I hurt her)
Oh my god soooooo many red flags but what pushes it from NO GO territory to BOAT IS SINKING, EVERYONE SAVE THEIR LIFE! territory is this
>She doesn't think she'll ever get better and doesn't like talking to doctors or therapists.
If she doesn't even want to work on this issues, you need to run to the hills, Anon. Seriously, her long list of disorders would be more than enough to call it quits, but if she doesn't even want to work on it, lights off.
Your question is only how to defuse it.
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