Self-diagnosis problems.

>>17444220
Bloody hell anon get with it. Self diagnosis? There is a reason professionals are meant to and not run of the mills and even they get it wrong.

As someone who studied Psychology for 5 years, the DSM which has all the symptoms is so open and broad, most people can be diagnosed with autism or several other disorders despite not actually having them.

Stop being paranoid, you young ones now a days need some sense knocked back into your brain.

>>17444241
I don't even feel it's paranoia anymore, thinking like this. I just want to know why thinking like this makes my life feel like it makes sense for the first time.

You are almost guaranteed to be a narcissist. That post describes my girlfriend to a fucking tee.

> I've lied to myself at funerals, I don't care about any of these people, but I lied to myself because not caring is wrong. I did this for a very long time until this moment. I feel peace, acceptance. I look in the mirror and don't hate myself anymore. But here's the thing. I care about people. REALLY care about people. Total strangers. I will go far out of my way in order to not upset someone. Even if this someone hurts me or takes advantage of me, I don't care. I LOVE people. I want to help all of them. But how can I be this person who can be punched in the face and still say "It's alright, hopefully you can find peace through the turmoil you feel." and then turn around and feel apathy for my "loved" ones?

Especially this right here. You care about managing your appearance with strangers, but you don't care about the feelings of those close to you. You're a narc.

>>17444264
Cause you are young. Its why young women latch onto feminism like a life boat. Its the first time they have been introduced to something which provides a structured explanation why someone or something works. Suddenly "life makes sense" and they embrace it obsessively. You are young, stop overthinking and trying to diagnose yourself. Move on.

>>17444220
I have experience with personality disorders. the first thing you should do is NOT try to diagnose yourself.

when you get assessed they may give you an MMPI which is like a really long personality quiz. it's a diagnostic tool to find what is (or might be) wrong with you. so if you take it, just remember the test results are gonna be a huge fucking downer - it'll be a big laundry list of all the shit wrong with you, but it won't list any of the things that are good about you because that's not what it's designed for. so try not to take it too hard.

personality disorders are tricky because like other anons said, it's so easy to fit the diagnostic criteria. psychologists have a better feel for how to interpret the criteria. a good psych won't just diagnose everybody who checks off the right boxes. most of it has to do with how much the symptoms are actually fucking up your life.

now this next bit: I'm not saying this to dismiss what you're going through, but you must remember that EVERYBODY LIES. it doesn't mean you're a pathological liar. everybody lies to others, it's called manners. everybody lies to themselves too. sometimes that's a bad thing and sometimes it's not. everybody also has mood swings and unexpected feelings and urges. everybody has inner conflicts. everybody has mixed feelings about people. everybody struggles with conflicting impulses to care and to not care about people. and everybody has high-energy days or times when they feel like doing something different or unexpected. personally I'd interpret that as a sign of personal growth.

cont

>>17444412
cont
honestly you sound more like you're going through an identity crisis or an existential crisis than having a personality disorder. it sounds like you had some revelations about yourself, as we all do, and it's thrown you for a loop, like it does for everybody. hell, even if you did have a personality disorder, it wouldn't change your course of action much. your main goal (in my unprofessional old-person opinion) should be to examine these different aspects of yourself and decide what you're going to do with them. therapy can help with that. but a lot of it can be done on your own too, just by living your life and doing some honest, nonjudgmental introspection from time to time.

TLDR it's good that you're going to see a doc about this, but either way you're gonna be okay. so try not to ruminate about it too much. if you really can't stop worrying about it, maybe start a list of things that you want to mention to the doc and bring it with you to your appointment.

good luck OP!