Childhood Friend

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Well... Here we go. #Walloftext

In 2002 I was 12 and I met a girl who we'll call J. J and I hit it off really well. We shared the same hobbies and like a lot of the same things.

In 2006 I grew to greatly love her and I was planning on confessing on valentine's day. But as luck would have it I was sick for the week and when I came back to school I found out that (we'll call him N) my best friend had gotten together with J. I was crushed and eventually fell into a deep depression. I didn't even tell anyone that I liked her and hell N told me that he liked a different girl.

In 2009 N and J broke up. I could tell from our talks that she was really taking it hard. I wanted to say that I loved her but what would N think about that fact that I was hooking up with his ex? I decided to keep quiet but stay with her and spend as much time as possible with her. I eventually figured out she was depressed like me after glancing at doctors forms on counter tops hell I even found antidepressant pills in her bathroom. The same kind I was using.

Fast forward to present day and she lives with me because in her own words "I... Don't think I can live comfortably with anyone besides you. You were always there for me." I want to say that I love her but when I think about it there's 2 problems. 1. N is still my friend and him knowing that i'm dating his ex and childhood friend would probably make him think i'm a dick. 2. If she doesn't like me then all I am doing is adding to her list of problems and it would be incredibly awkward between us and I don't think she would have much other people to talk to her about personal shit. Hell when I even mention N at all she says "Don't even say that fuckers name." or "Don't talk about that piece of shit. I don't want to be reminded of the pain that I felt."
Well /adv/ should I confess or just stay her friend?