How do I stop taking rejection so hard and personal? Its not

>>17442842

You have every right to act the way you do, if you see someone as a potential love interest and they turn you away then theres really no point to trying to stay friends with them, you only open yourself up to developing more feelings and being used. Make friends with people you see as friends and cut those out of your life that you wish to love but dont love you back.

>>17442842
By being open and straightforward about your feelings from the very beginning. This doesn't remove the whole sting -nothing can- but by not waiting to whip yourself into a frenzy of deep enotional investment, rejection comes when those feelings are still relatively mild, and easier to shake off.

>>17442842
By not having hard expectations as to how they will fit into your life ie:>>17442853

>>17442850

Usually its not a problem, but sometimes I catch myself feeling bad as if I did something wrong once I realize she is not interested. Is this normal? I also get annoyed/mad when I see them act one way towards me yet different with another guy.

>>17442853

I am pretty open normally but we work together so it wasn't as easy to be "open" without making it awakrd. But I paid far more attention to talked to her a lot more than every other girl there so in that way I was pretty open about it.

>>17442865

What bums me out is at first she seemed really interested, then as I tried talking to her more and more she started to seem uninterested, until eventually it was clear she didn't like me. So its hard to deal with because it makes me feel like a loser

>>17442869

You cant help how someone feels about you, rejection stings for everyone, it doesnt feel good to be denied something, just find closure in the fact you tried and they didnt reciprocate and try to move on, dont waste any more time on them.

>>17442897

It still feels like I blew it, and that there is something personally wrong with me,especially in this case. With random women I can always fall back on "well she didn't give me a chance to really get to know me" but this time she did, and it only went downhill

>>17442842
Go into relationships expecting friendship. I love open, honest relationships. Straightforward. I met this girl online. I was clear from the start I value 100% honesty and frankness. She agreed.

We talked a lot, eventually I was like 'shit dude I have a crush on u' and she was like 'oh, okay. wow. i dont know what to say' and i asked if she felt similar at all and she was like nah

and i was like okay, well, your'e still an amazing person and i value you as a friend, so i hope it doesn't make it weird.

and it didn't make it weird.

I think the problem is that you don't seem to value these people as friends.

>>17443261

Of course I don't value them as friends, I want to fuck these women. If she happens to be a great person too that's a huge bonus, but from the onset that's the mentality.

Its just that this time, I wanted tom get to know her. But she didn't like my personality, that's why its hard not to take it personal

>>17442842
You're on the right track with moving on.
Thats the life of pussy hunting.
Youre gonna get curved, that's just what happens. You just have to stop giving a fuck, because there's always gonna be another bitch.
Use your curves to effective build an imaginary "standard of women" that find you attractive and unattractive.
Every loss is a gain.
Just continue to say fuck it, and move on.
Get some more confidence and you'll be good. After a few months, you'll be able to target your attainables.
Me and my homie did this shit from Freshman year of HS to Senior year of College.
Bitches for fucking days, Once you know who you attract.

BY being an idiot. Anyone with half a brain would take rejections seriously, it means the other person does not want you.

>>17442842
In the same situation now OP.

There is nothing wrong with not wanting to spend time on someone who doesn't want you. I had a tinder date with a girl I knew and I thought it was fun but I think she just used me to feel desirable or something. I could be wrong.

I didn't have a crush on her until we hung out and I was cool about the rejection at first but she was acting kind of awkward so I backed off. I figure why indulge in a faux friendship just so we don't feel bad about things not working out? I don't hate her but I am avoiding her so I can lose feelings and move on.

YOU KNOW YOUR OWN WORTH AND YOU DON'T CHASE GIRLS, LET THEM COME TO YOU M8, AND NEVER FISH FOR SEX, JUST BE A SEXY MOTHERFUCKER AND IF SHE'S NOT INTO IT THEN IT'S HER LOSS M8

>>17443267
This is normal, but personally I would never get with a guy I wasn't best friends with. I have only had two relationships but both were with someone I already had a strong friendship with before it evolved into love and sex. So you might be missing out on a good relationship by having this attitude, but from the sound of it that's not what you want anyway.

>>17442842
Every relationship rejection it's personal.

>>17443759

Yeah, minimal effort reaps the most rewards.... it's backwards. You have to do the right few things, but then they'll do the rest of the work themselves in their head.

>>17443759

That's not how it makes unless you're a woman. At some point you have to make moves

>>17442842
I do the same thing. Well I don't stop talking to them but I distance myself from them because it hurts so bad. I'm not mad at them though because it's not their fault. It's just so fucking shit when you think you finally have a chance to be happy and then reality hit you in the face and it feels like your insides are being stabbed and crushed repeatedly. I also do the whole self hate thing.

>>17445253

How often have you gone through it?

>>17443261
>mr nice guy

>>17443243
>>17442890
I know exactly how you feel. But hey, I used to not even get as far as talking to girls at all. I didn't hold a girl's hand until I was 23.

Being rejected over and over hurts, especially since they showed interest at first, and I feel like there's something wrong with me that turns girls off. I'm going to keep trying though.