How much are you put off by PDA? Bf and i are dating since a

A year isn't that long for a relationship, so that isn't surprising. Once you live together, it tapers down. Especially the older you get.

>>17440446
Well, problem is we do live together and we are already mid to late 20's...

>>17440450
Like I said, a year isn't very long. Good for you though. My wife and I used to be the same way, until maybe year 3 or 4 of dating. We are still affectionate in public, but not so brazenly. Finding someone you are comfortable with like that is great.

I walked in on my housemate with his face nuzzling his gfs ear and I wanted to turn around immediately. If everyone is telling you to get a room you are very much wearing out your welcome. No one wants to be around that. You should just limit touching to hand holding and no thumb wars or rubbing. Please. It's so uncomfortable to even bring that up.

>>17440461
That's true. I do expect it to go down a bit with time. Should i just not care? One friend that often has to comment us holding hands/hugging/kissing openly told me she's just jealouse and wishes her husband would be more affectionated. The other friend is a pretty grumpy loner that might browse r9k. So basically, he's jealouse too. I don't want to make others unconfortable around us. But i also don't want to bend over backwards to change our ways. I enjoy all the PDA. If it wasn't for "caring about what others think" i would just not give a damn. Is that a dumb reason or just considerate of others?

>>17440468
Sounds like you basically turned down a threesome.

>>17440468
What about hugging and occasional kisses (not making out)?

I would assume most people are put off by too much PDA. If you guys can't keep your hands off each other, stay at home and fuck each others brains out until you can't move but don't hang on one another and constantly touch and make out in front of people.

I think there's a time and a place for everything. In public, things like short kisses and hand-holding is fine, but anything OTT is too much. In your home, you're afforded more liberty. I disagree with >>17440468 and I think nuzzling or cuddling is fine if you're watching a movie on the couch or something, even if you have roommates. Where it crosses the line is when you're doing something sexual, like giving him a handjob under a blanket.

If you are told to get a room often, then obviously you are far overdoing it. There are ways to show affection that's perfectly acceptable and not make you look like horny teenager idiots.

For what it's worth, I've noticed that overly affectionate PDAs are often signs of a weak relationship. When I have noticed a couple like that in my social circles, the relationship has never lasted. It's like you are desperately trying to overcompensate the lack of a real affection.

>>17440478
That's fine if you do it very moderately without intent of fucking right then. but the only hand holding thing Is a good start if you're incapable of anything else turning into hanky Panky which clearly op is not

My only complaint about my housemate doing the nuzzling thing was that this instance was clearly going to turn into fucking as he was also doing some gross rubbing of her arm along with his bedroom voice, which I never needed to hear ever

>>17440481
We try to do that. We have so
much sex it's starting to be ridiculous ( he was home over the weekend and we actually fucked 9 times). We also would stay home but we don't want to stop socializing because we want to have sex. That's absurd. It's also not that we are usually horny when we hug/kiss/hold hands. I just can't help it. If i walk past him i HAVE to have some sort of body contact...
It's also at family gatherings. I have realized that i rather sit next to him on the sofa, lay my head on his shoulder and just observe instead of actually be part of the situation. I've always been someone that rather just sits and observes, but till now it would have been pretty boring to just do that so i was "forced" to partake. Now i can easily and comfortably indulge in only watch from a distance...

>>17440482
>>17440497
So, PDA is fine as long as it is loving as opposed to sexual?

>>17440507
The problem is that you obviously have no clue about where the line is between loving and sexual.

>>17440507
Sure. No one ever complains if a girl hugs her friend a lot, or a parent hugs their kid right? Just keep sex out of pda and you'll be ok

>>17440496
Well, it was 2 times to be precisely. But i haven't been told that ever before so it seems like a lot.

That second part of your post is pretty scary. How do i know if we fall into that category? Are there exceptions? I know a couple that still holds hands/hugs and kisses in public after being married for over a decade and having two kids. I actually always thought they are very adorable together...

>>17440510
>>17440513
You might be right... How do i tell then? Isn't that pretty random? Every person makes the cut at a different point as it seems. So you might just offend people that make the cut sooner than you do. For example, if you give your bf a single peck in front of your prude grandma that thinks sex is a sin, then you probably already offended her. Isn't it highly individual and you can't possibly make everyone be comfortable unless you don't showany PDA at all? Which would ask us to hugely change our ways just to please others?

>>17440514
There's a thin line between affectionate, kid appropriate pda and 'omg u sexy hunk' pda. If you're unable to go without touching your bf at all then you need to learn some self control. That couple probably knows how to keep the pda kid appropriate. Meanwhile you're looking for every reason in the book to not stop touching your bf...

>>17440514
Don't listen to that second part. That might hold for teenagers, but being affectionate isn't a definite sign of a weak relationship. I was always publicly affectionate with my gf (never made anyone uncomfortable), and we've been together for 10 years and married 5 of those. Every relationship is different. Don't take an anime enthusiast image board as gospel.

>>17440524
Ok look. Be a considerate human being. and don't make out with your bf in public. Stop trying to make reasons to ignore everyone telling you to get a room because you're too weak willed to control yourself. This makes you selfish. Sure, I have freedom to wear a shirt with 2 dogs fucking on it in public but I won't. Just be considerate of the general public , not your biblical grandma. Don't rub him with your hands or foot and don't linger in kissing him.

>>17440525
We do keep it kid appropriate... Or so i think. I mean, i do give him a longer kiss from time to time, but i wouldn't do a french kiss with people seeing. I do hug him and and caress his back when i do so, but i would never grope his ass or "press myself against him". I do hold his hand or let it rest on his leg when sitting next to him, but i would never let them wander to more private areas. I'm really not sure if i am actually blind to overdoing it or not. I also think the "problem" is not the kind of PDA but more the amount of it.

>>17440535
Caressing is going into danger zone. Everything else seems ok the way you describe it--but you may be overly kind to yourself. Why can't you just tone it down with the amount of touching him? This is the simplest answer to your issue and everyone else will be happy and comfortable with having you two around. Sure you can do whatever you want in public. But people will stop wanting to hang out with you 2 if you insist on touching your bf all the time.

>>17440530
I'm just happy i can get some peoples honest stance on it here. If i ask people irl they might just tell me what i "want to hear". I'm not going to stop holding hands just because someone on /adv/ told me to. I just think every train of thougt is worth thinking to the end to see if it is something i want and should consider.
Can you elaborate on how you show PDA after being together for 10 years?

>>17440535
That doesn't sound like a big deal at all. Really similar to my relationship. If you and your bf are happy, it's not a problem. Good on you for being that comfortable with yourselves to not be so fucking prude for formalities sake.

>>17440533
That makes a lot of sense. I'm just not sure if the two comments have been serious (they sounded more light hearted/amused) enough to indicate a general sense of discomfort to be around us.
I'm going to try to be sensible about it and keep it under controle. Thanks

>>17440540
Ofc i CAN tone it down. I'm not a dog. My concern is if i have to and should tone it down because of those two comments.
On one side i want to be considerste about others but then again i don't want to do everything i do just to please others. I'm searching for a sane middleground.
But i agree, i will try to keep it appropriate from now on (if it wasn't in the past)

>>17440545
It's possible that they made a light joke about it to hide the fact that it does make them uncomfortable. Hold hands and whatever, but don't rub his back, try to refrain from kissing and holding each other for extended periods, etc.

>>17440541
No problem. I kiss her in public, hold hands, pull her in by the waist just to get her close, rest my hand on her theigh/waist /lower back. Give her a smack on the ass every so often. Sneak a pinch. She will do all the same to me. Maybe further. Just pick your place and be comfortable with one another. I have no shame about it and have never once been given a second look by friends or family.

>>17440543
That's exactly my fear, that i start to act more prude than i actually am comfortable with just for formalities sake. I try to not do stuff "just because one does it this or that way" but instead make a conscious decision after having gathered enough relevant information. That's what i'm doing itt

>>17440550
That's why it even catched my attention. If it was just one little joke i'd let it slip. The fact that it has happened twice has alerted me that it might actually be a "discomfort thinly veiled as a joke".
I'll make sure to test out being a bit less affectionated next time and see how that plays out

>>17440553
Just be aware of that. If you don't like a decision you're making, only because you aren't sure that's what would be the common one, think longer on it. Does that make sense?

>>17440551
Awww, i think that's adorable. Minus the pinching and smacking (unless there's REALLY no one around to notice).
I think MY family doesn't give a single fuck and think it's cute. His family however seems rather stuck up so naturally, we tone it down around them.
Our friends are not complicated people either. Surely not stuck up. So i think there's a possibility they weren't actually serious and just wanted to tease us

>>17440563
It does. But sometimes it's not easy to draw the line

Here's a clue: people will be more disgusted by sound than sight. So if you do something that results in tonguing noises, it's more likely you will be told to get a room.

>>17440551
>>17440565
>pull her in by the waist just to get her close, rest my hand on her theigh/waist /lower back. Give her a smack on the ass every so often. Sneak a pinch.
This is the sort of thing where you just have to draw your own boundaries, OP. While you find it adorable (minus the smacking and pinching), I find it to be extremely over the line for PDA and I wouldn't want to hangout with that sort of affection going on. So in this instance, the two of you find that stuff okay whereas I do not, and there's not anything wrong with the way any of us feel because we all just have different boundaries and that's cool. You do you.

>>17440578
I read that in the voice of a 75 year old woman.

>>17440577
That's a good pointer and makes a lot of sense. I wouldn't want to hear that either.

>>17440578
That's exactly what this thread is about. I do realize that everyone has different boundaries so something might make one person really uncomfortable whilst the next one isn't bothered in the slightest. My question is what's the common point people draw the line between acceptable and inacceptable PDA so i can know when we are really going to far and when we are just dealong with someone that has a very low tolerance. Doesn't mean we would just ignore that and go on nonetheless, but i don't want to start toning down our PDA all over when we would just have to tone it down around a certain person we know doesn't like it at all.

>>17440478
no it sounds like he has an asshole room mate who is trying to make a statement, and the girl doesn't care because she is a girl.

>>17440578
i was at a bbq/smoke out sitting under the gazeebo with my new gf at the time and i help her and rubbed her midsection a bit. later that night she complained about it indirectly towards me in a post and it got a ton of likes cause no one really knew what happened except me and her. to this day i'm thrown off because no other girl has ever not liked that.

>>17440635
She did what?

>>17440583
I am a 75 year old woman. Nice guess!

I like it as long as it doesn't exclude other people. An arm around someone's shoulder, holding hands absent mindedly, leaning into each other etc... that's all fine with me.
When you are staring into each other's eyes, kissing all the time, whispering in each other's ear... that is uncomfortable and angering because as someone else present there, you get dragged into other people's intimacy that you want no part of, and then you feel awkward for overstepping into their personal space while you never wanted to witness that personal stuff to begin with.

>>17440657
Thanks for this! Those are all very helpfull pointers! So nothing that excludes people, implies sex or makes sounds. Those are things i can actually work with. I knew adv wouldn't let me down

>>17440665
Yeah. I agree with the other ones as well. There is a difference between people being obviously fond of each other (which is a normal part of social life and only the most salty people would be bothered by) and it getting so romantic and/or sexual that it heads into a private territory that has no place in a social group gathering so it's at the expense of the overall level of ease.

Good luck!