How can I become less shy?

stop being a fat cat :3

>>17437985
Step outside your comfort zone, pretty much all there is to it.

>>17437985

the reason people are shy (re:anxious) is becuase they expect horrible consequences for the things they do. there are people that insist you cant ask out a girl unless its a sure thing cuz otherwise you will face shame and humiliation.

most of these consequences are imagined. ask out a girl and she might forget you in an hour (assuming she said no). but you go home and think about it and act like everyone knows and is laughing. they obsess over themselves so much they think everyone else does to.

the best way to over come this sort of shyness and anxiety

>>17438000

sorry got distracted by a text and forgot to finish:

the best way to overcome anxiety is to simply push through it. brave people experience fear, they just push through it because of the reward. the more you do it, the less you realize can happen. you realize that it doesnt matter if the girl says no and life is exactly the same as it was an hour ago

Recognize and change your thought patterns

>catastrophizing
Do you always assume the worst is going to happen? Well, what are the chances it's actually going to happen? Think about that. Think about what's the best that could happen. There can be many different outcomes, so don't just hang on to the bad scenarios. And if the worst actually happens, how bad is it really? Instead of avoiding it, make up a strategy to survive the worst case scenario.

>mind reading
You don't know what people really think. Usually they don't pay that much attention to you, as they got their own life and problems. Don't overanalyze things. If you think someone dislikes you/will dislike you, stop to think what actual evidence you have of this. You need to communicate with people instead of making assumptions on your own.

>all-or-nothing thinking
You don't have to be perfect, no-one else is perfect either.

You have to concentrate less on yourself and more on other people. Everybody has their insecurities, so you can think about that next time you're afraid to talk to someone. Maybe they feel nervous too.

Also you have to learn to cope with your emotions better. What makes you shy? Are you afraid of rejection or humiliation? Shame? Everybody gets those feelings every now and then. You have to recognize the feeling and accept it, then let it go. Take a few deep breaths to calm down and move on to something else. Those feelings won't kill you.

>Last tip
If you have trouble looking people in the eye, give yourself a challenge: try to determine the eye color and shape of every person you meet/talk to. This will make you look them in the eyes right away and have your mind occupied with something else than your negative thoughts. Get comfortable with eye contact and you might feel a bit more confident.

>>17437993
But when you do that you usually start blabbering stupid annoying shit like an insecure autistic geek.