how to be a good friend?

fast forward about 2 years - i started making drama over random stuff. i dont know why - i was scared of something, i was stressed from work and was taking it out on her.
it wasn't really nice how i did it either - i was basically switching between 2 personalities, one that was normal person and one that was unreasonable dumbfuck that was completely out of touch with reality. i could get into that mode in an instant, then after a short while (max few hours, maybe a day) i switched back.
and all of this was just too much for her, and she decided we should break contact. tried to fix it, talk it out, after a few days it all blew up again.

now it's few days since we last talked. she told me to leave her alone, and to not contact her untill i really change, nothing half assed. something definitely longer than 1 month, up to one year i guess. i know me and i think 3-4 months will be more or less enough, more if i really require it.

2/3

for now i figured out that i really just need to let it all go, take some time for myself to calm down and stop thinking about it most of the time. give up on this friendship for now, then just start acting/thinking like i want to act/think untill it becomes a habit. i know i probably wont be able to drastically change my personality, so i just want to be able to control myself and be able to think before i act or say something. be still in control in these situations where i used to blow up, just enough to realize i just wanted to say or do something stupid.

i dont know if i can save this friendship, if yes then it's great, if no i still want to change, because i'm just annoyed with myself. and it surely will help me with any future friendships or relationships.
so /adv/, how do i change? how do i see i have changed? how do i talk to her in the future and show her i have changed? any advice or some insight to help me see this situation in diffirent light would be appreciated.
3/3

So you have feelings for her?

Just cut it off, it's not worth it. Unless it's viable to visit them in person semi-regularly a serious online based relationship is not worth it.

I've been through this crap and come out better for it, but I've got a friend who's fucked his life away because he can't let go of people on the the other side of the planet.

>>17437192
>So you have feelings for her?
not really, there was no attraction from either side. we were just friends.

Anon I bet she thinks about you as much as you think about her. Make new friends and practice and get some confidence. Do not let yourself be convinced you are shit at social stuff. If you believe you can be competent then you will.

If you let yourself forget about her for awhile, then you will find friendship with her again.

>>17437205
>Anon I bet she thinks about you as much as you think about her.
i hope so. i tend to rush stuff, if there's a problem fix it asap, without really taking time with it. sometimes it's good, this situation i think i was trying to fix results, with root cause still there, that's why i got caught up in on-off arguing and drama over really dumb shit.
i guess i might be scared that the more time it'll take, the worse it'll get. like, there wont be anything left to fix.
>If you let yourself forget about her for awhile, then you will find friendship with her again.
that's what i plan to do, cool down, think about it over some time, stop being bothered by it so much.

>>17437223
It's a perfectly reasonable fear to think there maybe nothing left to fix. It could happen, but the more people you meet and get to know the better you'll feel in general. If you're successful, then I promise it won't hurt as bad if you don't end up staying friends. There are a lot of cool people to know in this world, so don't worry about running out of them.

If shes really just a friend that isnt intimate dont worry about it