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Anonymous
A fresh perspective on things from /adv/ 2016-08-07 02:38:08 Post No. 17436092
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A fresh perspective on things from /adv/ 2016-08-07 02:38:08 Post No. 17436092
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I can't sleep so I figured I'd get some outside perspective, maybe you guys can see something I'm missing. Will tl:dr at the end.
Backstory: For 2 years I was in a long distance relationship with someone in Arizona. We had never met before. Despite everything in our power to keep it afloat, the relationship eventually failed. I just couldn't handle the distance: I wanted to hug and be hugged. He wouldn't let me leave though, despite knowing how unhappy and unsatisfied I was (we both were).
I was always so alone. My days consisted of coming home from work and waiting to be with my lover. Sometimes we would get to see each other for an hour. Sometimes not at all. I was very lonely. He was the only person I talked to, my best friend. But the lack of intimacy and closeness just killed us over time.
Fast forward to the end, and me and a real life boy became friends. We eventually got into a relationship, but I was so hung up over losing Arizona-anon that I eventually broke up with the real life boy. There was no time inbetween to grieve the loss of someone I shared my life with for years, and it just got to me because I still loved him. I didn't wanna leave...
FF a little bit and I realize the real life boy took advantage of and used me, especially for sex. Red flags were: He fell "in love" over the span of 2 days. He became distant and cold after the first time we had sex. Big red flag was he didn't think me and Arizona-anon counted as a relationship just because it was long distance, so he had no remorse about breaking us up. Just because we never met doesn't mean we didn't have a shared bond.
It hurt for a little because the real life home wrecker boy ghosted the fuck out of me, despite saying he still cared about me and wanted to remain friends. I never heard from him again.
FF a little bit and once I felt I had gotten over homewrecker-anon and Arizona-anon, I used okcupid to pursue another man. I felt I was ready.
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I wasn't ready. I let my fears and anxiety overcome me and I broke up for no good raisin when everything was going well. We cut contact even though we didn't want to, because I couldn't handle a relationship and he didn't want to be just friends.
So I wrote him an actual physical letter of apology, asking if he'd be interested in trying again with me if I get help. I'm gonna see a psychologist this upcoming Wednesday to get professional help.
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tl;dr
>be in 2 year LDR with someone 2k miles away
>never met before
>we're a great team but we get bitter over time and fight n shit
>No intimacy or closeness, we eventually talk less and less till we don't speak much at all
>no more skype calls, no more seeing each other's faces, no falling asleep to the sound of each other's breathing
>I was unsatisfied but he wouldn't let me leave
>found real life boy
>we became together
>eventually he used me then ghosted me
>took break then got into nother relationship because I felt ready
>prematurely broke up for no good reason and I feel really bad
What I wanna know is, is there any chance he'd take me back after my anxiety induced breakup?
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TL;DR
I have a cunt, resolve me of responsibility!!!!
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>>17436092
Firstly, don't come to 4chan and expect the man children here to do anything but go full sperg redpill mode and call you a whore. They're mostly incapable of giving real advice to females.
Secondly, what you're going through is par for the course for young relationships. You don't know who you are yet, you're still learning what you require from a partner and from a relationship.
It seems that you have a good head on your shoulders and you've learned from experiences as you overcome them, as ill advised as they might have been at the time.
I think, maybe you should focus on seeing a psychologist and working through your intimacy and self-esteem issues instead of jumping into a relationship. Learn to take care of yourself before you worry about taking care of someone else.
You're obviously a little confused, so seek clarity, not another pair of arms to run into just because you're feeling vulnerable and guilty.
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>>17436168
Hey thank you for the kind words. I intend to try to help myself as much as possible with therapy. All I know is that I needed help asap
Falling asleep will return to thread later on apologies
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