Autistic self hatred

I have way different thought patterns from most people and I still manage to live a pretty good existence. People like Bill Gates/Steve Jobs probably think pretty differently from normal people too. Who cares? All that matters is money and looks in the end.

>>17434139
>Steve Jobs
>probably think different

>>17433749
I have autism, and it can suck sometimes

but normies have their own separate struggle that we don't have to deal with

it's not wasy finding out who you are as a person is made up partially by a syndrome, it makes you feel less special or valuable

I can't work out anything to do with time for instance, can't read a clock, work out a bus timetable
and people say "that's a disability", and I feel like that sometimes
but on the other hand, I can take a clock apart and re-assemble it.
normies can't do that, and sometimes I think they are disabled

maybe it's better, maybe worse; I can't say.
but at the end of the day everyone has to get out of bed every morning and start running, aspie or not

I know how you feel OP. I think being given the label of "autistic" can be incredibly damaging to a person's self-development and self-esteem, like an anchor dragging you down at all times, especially if other people are informed that you're "autistic" and they treat you differently.

Well, what I think to myself when I get out of the self-loathing depressive mood is "FUCK neurotypicals!" haha. Honestly, sometimes so-called normal people seem more retarded to me than I think I do to them. They're boring, they're shallow.

All we can do to live a happy life is find ways to feel good about ourselves because as soon as we make that mistake of feeling down about ourselves it's a slippery slope towards suicide. Look at life like mountain climbing: you begin at the bottom and keep exerting yourself every day towards the top. You know that if you give up, all you can do is descend to the bottom, from where you have to start again, so it's futile. All you can do is keep on chuggin' and never give up. Exert yourself, rest, then exert yourself again. Make progress, even if it's only a few steps a day. Never give up, because once you do, you're doomed. Find the fighting spirit within you that accepts the challenge and feels invigorated by it, determined to win. Take challenges life throws at you as opportunities to grow even further and become a better person. It's all we can do... we have to keep going, keep learning, keep trying.

If others have been informed of your condition just make fun of them when you can do something they can't. Saying "I'm autistic and can do ____ better than you" is fun. If people don't know, they probably won't notice unless you are heavily autistic so you're fine!

>>17433749
>I just want to be normal, and think like normal people
Why would you want to think like the people who laugh at you? It seems like this is the core of your problem: wanting to be "normal".
I know it's cliché, but you need to truly ask yourself why you want that. Is it to avoid being laughed at? Sorry to break it to you, but people will STILL laugh at you even if you are deemed "normal", you'll just be laughed at for something else.

>>17433749
in my late 30's here and parents finally told me that i'm on the spectrum after keeping it hidden from me for decades

no wonder women look at me with disgust, i understand now.. just like i don't have wings so i can't fly like a bird, and i don't have gills so i can't breathe underwater like a fish, i don't have social skills, so i can't ever socialize like a normie

seems like there's only one option at this point