Open Marriage. Wife yes. Me No

>>17431832

I would cut my own testes before allowing a relationship to fall into that. But that's me.

Be very careful, OP, and think about the worst that could happen: she finds and alternative partner (which she will, bc woman) and you don't.
Maybe you can cope with it knowing you're letting the person you love be happy, I personally would be torn apart inside,
I went through something similar but it was just after a breakup so there was no telling my ex she couldn't do that.

My advice is still "don't, OP"

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>>17431832
This is why girls who were "amorous" in college are to be avoided.

You thought it was a meme but now your wife is gonna be getting quadruple gangbanged by Chads and Tyrones on a weekly basis.

Congrats. You're cucked son.

C U C K

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>>17431832
insulting

>>17431839
samefag here, I'll tell you more, OP

dump her, realise that marriage is something for your 30s and try and have fun like she is doing.
Don't waste your time

>>17431832
If you're not already open to the idea, no amount of talking this through or experimentation is going to help. Let her know that you're not okay with open marriage and see what she says from there. Because if it's that big of an issue for her, divorce is inevitable.

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>>17431855
>marriage is something
>is something
>marriage

>>17431832
why in holy hell did she get pregnant with another child knowing she is not satisfied and her remedy is to bring other people into the relationship? I get some people are down with open marriages but that is something they should discuss before the marriage and not spring it on the other partner after they have two kids.

To answer your implied question I would tell her no. The two of you can and should work on this as a team not as she suggest go outside the marriage.

>>17431832
>Wife yes
>Me No

You already know what to do. Relationships can't be one-sided.

Wew lad
You really got yourself a keeper.
Try to really ask her why she wants that. Tell her your concerns. Mayne she is just scared you'll cheat anyways since she doesn't do alm the things she knows you would like, so she decided to open the relationship up before you go get some without her knowing. Just an idea.

However, my ex was married too before we met and they opened the relationship. It happened exactly like the anon above said. She fell in love, he still only wanted her. She wanted a divorce and he was left with the child. Don't do it. Seriously

>>17431832
If it hurts her to have sex with your dick it will hurt when she has sex with someone elses dick. Bottom line she wants strange dick and plenty of variety. You will be home taking care of the kids while she is getting her freak on. It's one thing to be honest and tell you she is not satisfied but a big leap to suggest balling other people

>>17431832
I don't understand men. The wife or gf tells them she is going for other men and the husband or bf just give up and shocked when they leave.

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>>17431832
Don't do it
Open marriage is only benefitial for the women, unless you are both 10/10 attractive and still then.
It's not worth it Anon, don't even consider it EVER, this is near divorce shilling my friend, if she finds herself more satisfied with someone else she will end it.

This is what you have to do.

>Admit that you could try new things, explore kinks or whatever.
>Contact your lawyer and study a case for divorce, just in case, record everything from this day on, but don't be too obvious.
>Try BDSM or roleplay whatever kink you can find on the internet, THAT ONLY INVOLVES YOU AND HER. Tell her that you want to try new things but you would feel more comfortable going slow about it.
>Go slow about it, I am talking about 5 months of trying new things in sex and whatnot.
>In the meantime observe how she is doing outside the bedroom, is she more distant? is she resentful? Is she going out more or something? Take measure but don't be affected by it. Control yourself.
>If you have tried everything and she is still not satisfied tell her that you can't do it, that you can't let her sleep with anyone else and if she really wants that then you will have to go thru a divorce.
>Doesn't matter how she reacts, what matter is that she will change her behaviour, now she might be more prone to fight and provoque you but you don't have to give her anything. ANYTHING.

If she was really interested in getting off, if this was a sex thing, only a kink thing, you would find something that excites her without involving someone else.
If she wants to try someone else's dick then, probably there is nothing stopping her, maybe she already has someone in mind. This is why hiring a lawyer is important right of the bat, so you have the upper hand.

I am so sorry to hear this OP.

>>17431832
>issues in sex life
>only try lube
>it had a bad reaction

>didn't try any other kinds of lube
>didn't try any thing else in the bedroom
>didn't try more foreplay
>didn't try bondage
>didn't try lingerie
>didn't try kinky shit
>didn't try supplements
>didn't try date nights
>didn't try ANYTHING

>just gave up

She just wants to fuck around and is trying to blame it on you. If she was actually interested in keeping her marriage and filling her needs, she would try something. ANYTHING. But she doesn't think it's worth the effort to try. She doesn't think YOU'RE worth the effort.

>>17431893
This. She is doing a lot of mental gymnastic to explain why she needs strange cock. This is some serious bullshit she is giving you

>>17431832
If I were you I would have the bun in her oven DNA tested at birth. The child may not be yours

>>17431832
>When we talk about it, she mentions that she doesn't satisfy all my needs in the bedroom and this is a way we can both get what we want.

This is her rationalization to be able to sleep around with other men. DONT DO IT

>>17431899

It's easy, modern women are all about plan B.

Plan B is easy to have, and getting over a failed love is easy when you have a plan B handy.
And it's not like women don't care about love/ have no sense of loyalty, i'm just saying that if things go south most women land on their feet most of the times because of fucking plan B (no pun intended)

Men only have a plan B if they are:
-rich
-10/10
-in a promiscuous community
-surrounded by women for whom they are their exact type

the rest of us sods don't have a plan B so handy, that's why OP is still thinking whether to bail out himself or not

She is just faking the "burning" because she doesn't want to habe sex with you anymore. Else she would have found a solution. Different lube for fucking example. She's an attention whore and your attention isn't worrh shit anymore

>>17431899

Thanks to all for the advice.

I told her no and she said ok and seemed to understand but she still jokes about it playfully. which even clueless me knows that she wants to "leave it on the table". The only thing that I know to do is to sit down with her and really get super serious that I dont like it or her joking about it and that I NEED it to be just us.

This is the beginning of the end.

Open relationships are a bad idea and having one when you've got two kids is even worse. You can either get couples counseling or start considering divorce.

>>17431832
The horrible truth might be that she is ALREADY cheating on you. I would NEVER agree for open relationship, certainly not one I was forced to. Just divorce, she is NOT keeper. She might probably flip out when you ask for divorce (loosing her chubby provider would be hard for narcistic) but don't fall for it, you are probably just an object in her world. Everyone is object for her. Leave her.

>>17431899
>husband or bf just give up
What would you want? Slut is not worth fighting for.

>>17431903
I've read that polyamori post before, I feel sick reading it now, again.

>>17431841
>This is why girls who were "amorous" in college are to be avoided.
Words of wisdom. Sluts are avoided for a reason.

>>17431893

I would be inclined to agree with some of this anon's statement. If It is physically painful when she is with you, I don't really see how it would change if she is doing it with some other guy.

I just feel like her trying to project her views onto you is wrong and manipulative. She wants to be in an open relationship, and she is adamant about it, but it seems that she is trying to force you to see it how she wants it. I don't get how she can state how she doesn't satisify you, when you is basically implying that she will basically be satisfying other people.

I am not saying to cut your losses op, however you are fairly young, and the fact that she has brought it up multiple times and is a centrifuge for disagreement. I would hope that you stand strong with what you believe, what you will tolerate and not. Also be willing to walk away if you need to. Good luck

>>17431921
Because she expected this and she's planning on her next trick to either sell you the isea OR to get what she wants via another way.

m8, how did you let things get to this point? We're alla telling you that basically your marriage is hollow and it must be a pain to read but seriously, if you weren't thinking that at some point along the way you did something terribly wrong you wouldn't be here right now, would you?

>>17431832
this post is fake af but usually lube will burn if shes not horny.

>>17431921
you don't have to justify or apologize for wanting "just us" You guys committed to each other and she told you she wants to fuck other men. Her reason is bullshit.

>>17431937
Not a fake post. Quietly reading every ones word. Yes even yours
dick and maybe we did try it kind of early in foreplay.

>>17431832
she's got a obgyn tell her to ask the fucking doctor for suggestions if it burns. Nope the solution is fucking other dicks. I would be more pissed your wife is insulting your intelligence

>>17431832
I'm sorry to hear you're going throigh this. But it seems pretty clear to me that if you don't want her to cheat or leave, you're going to have to git gud in bed. Pay more attention to her needs, and load up on the foreplay until she's self-lubed enough to make up for not using store-bought lube. Get couples counseling, and consider seeing a sex therapist.

Seriously. I'm sorry to load up on the criticism, but your marriage is in dire straits here. It's time to pull out the desperate measures.

>>17431921
>she still jokes about it playfully
Woah, that's insulting.

>>17431968
I'm really unsure that the real problem here is op's sexua performance... Sounds like she has moved on a long time ago

>>17431832
if you do this, it will literally end up with you getting no sex at all and her fucking a different guy all the time. tell your wife to get a dildo. if she really loves you, she wouldent even considered this. if it hurts her, there are tons of alternatives, you can try different positions, and she could try different lube.. there isnt one standard brand

I would rather be in a sexless marriage than an open one. Lay down the law and tell her you absolutely will not share

She wants to explore and shit.

Try BDSM, bondage, kinky stuff, hell, tie her up on the ceiling and fuck her with a stick, like other anons said, if its a sex thing she will feel "aliviated" and end of history, maybe she brought the open relationship thingy because its the only thing she ever heard of, open her minds to more fetishes/kinks, like I said, if its a sex thing it will be over soon.

If not, then your soon to be ex-wife just wants fuck more people than only you.

be wise, think ahead, and in any case call a lawyer.

>>17431977
>I'm really unsure that the real problem here is op's sexua performance...
That might be, but it can't hurt to tentatively take her at her word on the satisfaction thing for the time being. Even if it turns out to be for nothing, you're still better in bed when it's done.

>>17431997

see this:

>>17431907


OP :
BAIL.
THE.
FUCK.
OUT

Sounds like you're looking at this from the wrong angle.

Maybe YOU should try getting better at fucking, and explore sexually with your wife. ASK her what she likes and then do it for her. Then try something different with each other.

>>17431832
I really don't have much sympathy for OP. You don't try to make a whore a housewife. Every man knows this and yet they believe their whore is different. Problem with whores is everything is temporary

>>17431968
THAT IS BULLSHIT! Not even sorry. We evidently see that OP is irrespectively of his sexual abilities (which we know next to nothing, really) loving man, that cherish his family, children and sanctity of his marriage.

Noone in marriage should have to fight or "git gud" to maintain what other person promised while taking a vow. Sure he is obliged to make his wife happy (which she is equally obliged to do for him) and he is trying to make her comfortable and happy. Frankly opening ones marriage is huge NO GO ZONE, for every sane person. And should be NO GO ZONE for every marriage in which even one of the people didn't agreed to it. You know why? Because while taking marriage they agreed to precisely opposite thing! (To forfeit anyone else). While taking a vow she had her part of the deal laid before her. It's not like she didn't knew what she was going for.

Acceptable thing to do in this place is if wife would do and push for all the things that you mention. If she was the one that wants to go to therapists, if she was the one trying different technics, lubes, positions. I have a strong feeling that kind OP would do his best to make her satisfied. BUT NO! Instead of doing sensible thing, she wants to slut it up! Disgusting. She deserve nothing good.

>>17432007
that's doing her game while she's out there having the time of her life.

OP, get better and fucking byu fucking other women, and do it NOW even without that talk about an open relationship

I would make my best to see if she cheats on you or if she cheated on you in the past.

>>17431832
if a partner came and made this suggestion to me I'm out of the relationship. They don't want only me then I find someone that does. I had a dick head of an ex bf want to have a threesome and I broke up with him.

>>17431945
This.

>>17431832

>extremely confused,
>Worried confused hurting husband

There is no way a grown man wrote this.

Leave her you literal fucking cuck.

The general consensus is correct. She wants you to be her safety net, take care of her and the kids while she fucks other guys.

Since you're married with kids, the best scenario for you is probably this:

>Stop having feels for her right now.
>Record her without being obvious.
>Save any evidence of her cheating, using drugs/alcohol, going batshit crazy, anything that makes her look like an incapable parent.
>Start talking to a divorce lawyer. Only show evidence to the lawyer.
>NEVER lose your cool. NEVER argue with her. NEVER make yourself look bad.
>If all goes right, you'll have the kids and not have to pay alimony.

There was a great post I read that went into more detail about all this, but being a femanon and not wanting kids, I didn't save it.

>>17432367
why the fuck not? Oh, god forbid, a man talks openly about how he feels?

Shut the fuck up, it's a billion times more manly to open up your emotions than to keep'em bottled up like a bitch

>>17432434
t. female

>>17432005
You can't give him advice like he's dating some girl for a few months, he's married to this women and has kids with her, it's completely different, they need to work out their problems

>>17432434
>talking about your emotions to anyone but your parents

i bet you're the type at parties to start crying after a few shots

Op fell for marriage fairy tale but he can still split or go with it and bring a chick home everyday along with still divorcing her

>>17432393
It's bullshit that a husband has to be so duplicitous just to fix a problem that's not his fault. You just know she'll get the kids anyway because she's a woman and poor old OP will be stuck with child support and alimony.

>>17432506
It's true. The marriage/divorce system is fucked in the US (where I assume OP is from - no indication otherwise). Dads getting buttfucked left and right by the courts while moms are out getting drugs/STDs with kids in tow.

>>17431903
damn, the second-hand cringe from that pic is too much

>>17431832
Top cuck. Get professional counseling you faggot

>>17431832
Literally being cucked, keep your dignity and end your marriage before your wife has sex with every nigger in the hood.

>>17431921
Don't let your emotions control you.
Try having sex and being more dominant, try talking down on her. Slap her, and be more sexual.

>You like that you whore?
>You say you want some other dude, NO you are mine!
>Bitch I want to hear you moaning until i am done with you.

She deserves to be punished, by doing it playfully you are showing that you know she is not satisfied and also marking territory.

Read the first sentence. She is cheating on you, and wants permission to continue cheating. That's all there is to it.

>>17432461
The situation is severe, but if both partners are not trying to save the relationship, it will not work. One trying their hardest and sacrificing and suffering while the other refuses to compromise and has a "my way or the highway" attitude will not work.

If she is unwilling to try other ways of experimenting sexually that OP is capable of doing (as other anons suggested), and insists on an open relationship, they're doomed. Both partners need an inherent desire to want something like that, as kinks that involve people outside the relationship are an entirely different beast.

>>17431832
OP, if she refuses to compromise, suggest to her some equally horrifying sexual act. Rape, gore,. incest-play, scat, whatever you know she'd be deathly against. Ask her how she'd feel if you insisted on *whatever*, and would not agree to anything else. Tell her that that's exactly what she's doing to you, forcing to agree to something that is not just uncomfortable for you, but emotionally traumatizing.

Also, ask her specifically what it is that you're not doing properly in the bedroom, and do it. There is nothing you can't do, if cuckoldry is your other option. If it's something she requires from someone other than you, then she's simply interested in other men, and wants permission to sleep around.

I would start talking to a divorce lawyer and get "your" kids tested for paternity.

You still might wanna try to fix the relationship by trying the other stuff anons mentioned but you definitely should start preparing now for the inevitable.

Hey OP, can you record it and upload it for us when she's telling you to take new guy's load on your face so she can be sexually satisfied?

Honestly, this whole topic is why people are going Muslim. If you don't out some type of pause of the pussy, they'll use it like a black hole to get everything and anything they can think of, because pussy can even be a literal money magnet, while the men get treated like ants, or horses, and it's fine. They laugh it up, riding on our backs, and there's still ALWAYS the loud, dumb ones that try to say anyone who isn't being a tool "isn't a man" or "needs to grow up". If you're one of these, I'm so glad I'm not you. Desperately burning up every ounce of effort you have for a gender that isn't even attracted to yours.

Being asexual is looking quite enticing.

Divorce

Didn't even read the whole thing

She's gonna cheat, she's a whore, end of story

If ur uncomfortable then ur wife should respect that

Love your wife as yourself! Sacrificing your own happiness will make both of you miserable. She tells you it's what she wants under the condition that it won't make you miserable, that's why she is trying to rationalize that you want it too. But you don't. THE CONSEQUENCS WILL NEVER BE THE SAME. Don't get cucked.

Start talking to a lawyer and prepare yourself mentally/emotionally for the next steps. I think your marriage is over.

>>17431832

ENOUGH OF THIS

this thread has been going for 12 fucking hours and we've been telling you the same thing over and over.

don't get cucked and say no. end of story.