Hey /adv/, a while back I made a suicide pact that essentially

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>>17427135
>Hey /adv/, a while back I made a suicide pact that essentially said I wouldn't do the deed until my life was good in most aspects.


I'm sorry, I'm not trying to mock you but it's usually when they can't provide themselves happiness that people tend to kill themselves. What's the logic behind killing yourself once you've done your best to improve your life ?
Why would follow an old pact that you probably don't believe in ?
What's so bad that you have to kill yourself for ?

>>17427135
Who is this pact with? Why did you make it?

At the time my psychologist refused to give me medication because of unpredictable panic attacks that quickly led to self harm. My therapist and friends kept encouraging me to wait for things to get better etc. And I figured if I still wanted to die once things had gotten better in the stereotypical perspective then I'd go for it but I should respect my friends enough to try and let it get better. I guess I still follow the pact to an extent because I want an excuse to kill myself when the only logical reason I must feel this way is a chemical imbalance and years of stress.

>>17427282

You're quite pragmatic, you describe your condition as chemical imbalance and years of stress, don't you think there is something deeper than that ? Something that keeps you from feeling good. What I mean is : Do you believe you're drawn to sadness ?
You're dating your friend, how's that going ?

>>17427306
I may be drawn to sadness slightly but I believe logically the majority of my sadness is sourced from stress. Dating my friend is going well, the only small issue we have is both of us getting in shape but otherwise we're like two peas in a pod.