When I make friends, I always worry that they will think that

>>17423559
>Am I being too self conscious or what?
ya

>>17423589
It is almost ALWAYS me intitiaitng the conversation though. Why doesnt anyone inititate conversations with me on Whatsapp and Facebook? Why is it always me?

>>17423599
Maybe you're just boring and they don't feel inclined to start talking to you yet.

If you feel like you ALWAYS have to initiate things maybe they're not friends?

It's a two way street you know.

>>17423893
It is like this with everyone? Always me initiating a conversation on Whatsapp? Does this happen to a lot of people or just me?

>>17423559

if they find you annoying they will reach a breaking point and phase you out of your life. and thats okay. you will do the same to others. if they like you they will just consistently accept your invitation / invite you to things.

you are being too self conscious. you are not a clown, you are not a servant, you are not here to predict anyone elses feelings and spare them from your attempts at freindship.

just invite them to actually do stuff, one on one or in small groups (no more than three) and try to bond. give it some time, but if they dont invite you to anything its okay to get out.

>>17423919
Never happened to me personally but I do know alot of people that continuously start conversations with me and I'm just like ugh...

They're not my friends but seem to want to be, I'm not mean to them or anything but it does get tiresome.

>>17423919

for me, i was the initiator for the longest time.

I met a few dudes at an anime party type thing and made an effort to keep inviting them. over the course of a month only one of them really 'bonded' with me and then began to initiate conversation.

thats how friendship works. try to put yourself in better bonding situations and see what happens.

>>17423920
>if they like you they will just consistently accept your invitation
As in reply to my messages or invite to meet and do things together?
If these people that I message share a WhatsApp group with me and everyone gets invited to an event, are we all friends?

>>17423944

>reply to my messages or invite to meet and do things together

both. not always 100% both, but as a general rule, yeah.

>everyone gets invited

you are aquaintances.

what im saying here is that you needt o be proactive. invite the people you have an interest in to do something you both might enjoy.

>>17423949
>invite the people you have an interest in to do something you both might enjoy
These people in that group don't really share the same interests as me

>>17423952

then you either
A) need to be more open minded
or
B) find some new potential friends

my friend from the anime party has vastly different tastes, by which i mean i barely watch any anime, and he watches all of them. our shows have virtually no overlap.

yet we were still able to unite over something as trying a new show i hadnt seen or going to the beach to catch pokemon (which ended with us just sitting on the sand in the dark talking for hours about life).

>>17423974
No I mean I cannot invite them to... ugh... go biking with me as none of them likes to bike etc etc

>>17423979

right.... which is why i said you either:
A) need to be more open minded
or
B) find some new potential friends

>>17423984
I mean for A it seems to be not very nice to the other people if I only invite one person to meet for ugh coffee or something
For B, my interests are not very mainstream. I met this group of people when we were traveling around France. Only one person wnats to continue learning French. My uni does not have French related language exchange activities. I was thinking about joining events on meetup.com but I assume most native French speakers there are older adults and as university aged students it will be difficult to become friends with them

>>17424003

k, so like i said
A) need to be more open minded
or
B) find some new potential friends
or
C) that magical third option you are so sure exists just ask five more itmes and im sure you'll convince me to give it to you

>>17424013
What do you mean by A though? Invite a person to participate in an activity that only suits her interests? Isn't that strange when I am not interested in that?

>>17424021

it depends how much you've explored that interest, its normal to try new things or even give things a second chance some time. even finding an event that nether of you have done before but would be open to trying

but if you are insistent that you and these people have nothing in common worth doing, why bother with them at all?

go find potential new friends.

>>17424028
>even finding an event that nether of you have done before but would be open to trying
It just seems mean to invite one person when technically you can invite everyone though

>>17424033

>when technicall you can invite everyone though

sure, but its damn near impossible to bond in that scenario. you are competing with everyone else there. people are putting on more of an 'act' in a group, and you cant say anything personal without everyone hearingi t. you cant even maintain a conversation cuz the group dynamic makes it move.

this isn't people bonding, this is people passing time.

to actually bond you need no more than three people doing the activity, talking to each other on a personal level, learning things about each other and feeling like you are actually interested in them, instead of just hearing every little thing that an entire group says.

THAT is how you get people to like you specifically.