Will I overlook new love because of my ex?

>soulmate
Kek. Maye, she's out there getting blown out and at the same time grooming you for her comeback. Once she's had a few miles of cock run through her she'll come back saying it was you she loved.

Don't wait for her. You don't know what you're missing until you experience it.

>>17423478
Thank you most obvious reply of the day.

I'm not asking about whether I should wait for her. I know for a fact that she has cock run through her, that's not the issue. I'm doing my part of both pumping and dumping in addition to dating, having other women fall in love with me, etc.

Unlike most of this board, I'm not writing from the abyss of misery. I'm merely wondering whether people think it's possible to find someone else as long as I still got feelings for my ex. The fact that she told me I'm her soul mate doesn't really affect me any more than just being friends with her still. After six years with this girl, that type of communication is commonplace, a casual fact by any other name.

>>17423501
There we go.
From your response it sounds like you feel for her but not the point where it's completely dominating you. As for what you ask, yes it is. It will just be much harder for the second person to get close. You have to keep a very open mind. And be willing to let the other one completely go.

If you pretty much have ,then there's nothing holding you back besides yourself

>>17423514
So what you're saying is that I can meet someone, but in all practicality that person would have an easier time with me if I stopped communicating with my ex that much from that point on?

I think that would only come naturally anyway. My ex can be a very jealous person, so if she heard I was seeing someone, I think she'd leave me alone anyway.

>>17423534
Pretty much. Yeah. We are stupid sometimes. All reactions and neurons firing. I get that you don't really care, per say, but if it bothers you, then on some level you do care about your previous relationship. And like a drug, even a thought of, can release feel good chemicals and such. So you will have a strange fondnessfor your ex.

If you honestly aren't looking to keep your ex as a friend, which I don't recommend since it rarely actually works out, just move on completely. Go your separate ways and in time your connections will no longer bother.

>our contact the last year has been mostly good. We don't really miss each other, we're just plain ol' fond of each other, communicating out of loving kindness, encouraging each other to continue with out respective projects.

Like I said, we tend to be stupid and actions like this, even if you tell yourself "no" could grow into emotions beyond simply friends.

And while it can come naturally, when you still keep in contact it can take years to fully separate.

Trust me, I had enough around me for like 7 years, because we keep talking and failing into each other over and over knowing fully well that it wasn't going to work, ever.

Best of luck anon

>>17423759
Thanks for that. Yeah, like I said, we've been on and off for years. It was officially over in 2013, but she keeps coming back (she travels a lot, backpacking, staying places half way around the world for months, possibly years,) but there's no way of telling whether she'll move back permanently. Whenever she's here, if feels unnatural to both of us to not keep sleeping together - but as you said, it's like a drug, and it doesn't work. However, the reason we broke up initially was because of long distance. If we both lived in the same city permanently, and didn't have much going on with other people, I'm pretty certain we'd at least try to be an exclusive couple again.

I'm not hoping, strictly speaking, but it seems like it's bound to happen. In the meantime I feel like I'm open (perhaps not ready, but that's due to living conditions and economy) to meet someone new, and if I ever fall in love I'm going to work on that relationship, not leaving the door open for her.

But the question remains-- is there a change I might overlook potential girlfriend material because of her. Not sure if I'm making enough sense distinguishing between that and her being in the way emotionally. Perhaps I should be actively looking, even though I need to focus on my own shit? Not getting any younger.

For context, went on a couple of dates a month ago, but stopped asking her out after she told me she's going to take a masters degree in a different city. Fucked a girl about a week ago. Dated a woman for three months, she felt it was a relationship and fell hard, but I didn't feel like I was ready to date exclusively. Met her when I was still fucking my ex, and had about three weeks overlap. Stopped sleeping with my ex about three weeks before she went to Asia. Maybe I wasn't ready for a new relationship because it was so recent I last slept with my ex, but then again maybe the other woman wasn't right for me? How to tell?

Sorry for the inconsistency, just thinking out loud.

>>17423899
*Dated the other woman for three months starting around new year's

>>17423460
According to my experience, If you try to harness your feelings, it will just be frustration, anger and useless burden. Just tell the truth to the girl if you love her, repeat it as long as you need it. I'd say it's a lie to think she is the only one. As long as you stay open and avoid drama, you make place for a new relationship. Also, about the soulmate thing: If she really wanted to be with you she would be by your side !

>>17423939
Thanks. Yes, it feels stupid not to tell her when I want to. I try not to too often though, I don't want either of us to pine, and it's easier to just calmly accept that out bond feels meaningful instead if walking down the line of LDR.

The soulmate thing, idk. It feel timeless. I wouldn't want her to give up on exploring the world as she so passionately wants to. We'll see each other again if it's right, and if not our time here on Earth was meant for other things, and we had enough of a good thing already.

Bumping for more thoughts please