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I had grown too close to my girlfriend. I was too vulnerable around her. She never told me to stop, and she never seemed to have a problem with helping me down from my occasional panic attacks and bouts of depression.
She randomly broke up with me because of them and never told me they were a problem. This is fair and I accepted that I fucked up. I asked her to just not go back to her abusive ex boyfriend. She promised not to.
She fucked him two days after we broke up, then he promptly kicked her out. I didn't know about this until we spent the day together and her best friend told me.
I then told her I'm GOING to kill myself. I did not threaten to do so. I didn't do it to manipulate her. I don't know why I decided to text her and tell her I was going to do it, but she was the only one I could talk to.
I bought my materials and began to initiate my attempt. She freaked out and exploded on me. She eventually forced me to stop trying.
Since then she sporadically texts me. She ignores my texts and only initiates conversations on her own accord. She goes back and forth between telling me she misses me and telling me she never wants to see me again. When I send her 2 texts a day she says I'm obsessing over her.
She is moving in two weeks and I think we should just call it quits when she leaves. I told her we don't need to date anymore I just want to see her as a friend. We've done that a few times since the incident. She disagrees, saying "You should move on, anon." She isn't seeing anyone else. She doesn't love me anymore, so it's not that. I told her I can move on when she leaves. She's still in town and I can't let go of the fact that she's so close but so distant.
I know I'm in the wrong. I know it. You can call me a manipulative monster all you want, I've heard it all before. I fucked up. I just want to know what to do at this point. I can feel myself losing a grasp on reality, I can feel my mind leaving my fucking head. I'm losing my mind.
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>>17421541
Go see a shrink
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I found going for long walks for a couple of hours to clear your head is great, you can beat depression OP
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>>17421541
>teehee im guna kill myself
you wont do it, faggot
grow up
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>>17421568
I have been but it's still been so hard
>>17421595
Thank you. Everyone has just been saying what >>17421627 did
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>>17421541
she didn't randomly break up with you. she broke up to fuck another guy. at least she did the right thing instead of cheating on you. Oh, you did try to manipulate her with your faux suicide declaration. I really don't blame her for wanting to get as far away from you as possible.
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>>17421541
Hey anon, from the get go you're already playing into an abusive dynamic from the start.
You need to set healthy boundaries as to what of your emotional issues you project onto someone else.
Who she sleeps with is not really your business at this point, that's good that she's not in a relationship with another abusive dude.
You should stop reengaging, every time you try to 'go back' and 'fix' things you're playing into a pattern that is going to aggravate your state and hers and eventually escalate.
Say what you need to say, recognize that breaking up is healthy, spend some time working on yourself and healing, don't beat yourself up over it, it will suck you back in.
Everything ends, be glad it's over.
Do the following, exit with closure, say what you need to say to feel at ease, and don't reengage, it's not a good idea to try to be friends with this person, your past is always going to get in the way.
You're stuck in the cycle dude.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cycle_of_violence
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>>17421541
goddamn everyone gets dumped multiple times in their lives and while it hurts like a motherfucker they go on. This is your first get ready for at least two more before you finally toughen up
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