Why are frat guys so distant?

So are you saying all frat boys are distant because one chad was rather aloof? Have you had any other experiences with frat boys?

>>17421367
I've tried talking to other ones at the gym and they treat me better but still mostly aloof

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>>17421355
OP you're trying to get som fratty chaddy action aren't you?

>>17421414
Nope not a girl and not gay

>>17421414
He is trying to enter a frat to lose his virginity

>>17421355
Okay Im in a frat. No, we all arent distant. A lot of my friends are non-greek. Its all about the person you attempt to talk to. Some are less socially capable of talking to strangers. Some will talk your ears off. Also some people are dicks. Take it on a person to person basis.

Also fuck sigma chi. That is all.

>>17421582
What's delta chi like?
Thats a big one here

Also the one guy from the gym told me he is in alpha kappa lambda

>>17421618
Usually pretty nerdy and introverted. Imagine all of the fedora memes and waifu pillows. Thats Dchi.

>>17421649
Really? They all seem to be alpha chads here


Also what about the other one

>>17421582
what school you go to? reppin ATO here

>>17421689
Not him I'm at VCU

>>17421683
Each chapter is different. We all may have the same core values but each person is unique.

>>17421689
Kettering University. DTD

>>17421355
Imagine being so insecure that you can't get through four years of school without a group of friends who are socially required to hang out with you because you're members of the same club. That comes through in all aspects of life, anon.

>>17421355
AWALT pushes the college rape button, that's why. OR you're quite basic in short range.

So anyone here know how to break through that shell?

>>17422041
Don't bother, those people aren't your friends.

>>17422055
I need to make them my friends

>>17421355
Partially because of the bond. Like a gang, its hard and slow to earn trust, but once its done you're in on alot of stuff

>>17422111
Any tips to make them like me?

>>17422128
there's no "make them like me" magic wand. A place in their group is something that happens gradually over time and at their pace, like a superior with a possible job promotion.

Hang out with them enough, dont pester them about being liked, respond to coolness in kind with passive indifference. It may take months if not years but if the alpha accepts you, the rest of the pack will follow suit.

>>17422128
Join their fucking frat you colossal moron

>>17422143
is their coolness them secretly testing me to see how I react or are they just like that

>>17422146
well they dont just let you walk in and join you have to get their approval first

>>17422083
if you 'need' to do anything that's not a healthy friendship. You're just setting yourself up to let someone abuse you.

I wrestled in high school and got the shit hazed out of me. I look back on the shit I put up with and did to others and normalized and how that's played out in my psychology over the years. Avoid. Their validation will not matter in a few years, the scars will stay.

>>17422111
like a gang, those organizations that normalize violence, drug use and predicate incarceration?

>>17422152
Why the hell doesn't /adv/ shup up with their moral preaching for once and just actually say how to do X

How do you get accepted into a frat
What do they want out of rushes

>>17422148
its about trust. You run into alot of fake ass plastic people with that type of crowd. When everyone is nice and wants to be with/around you to get a bit of that alpha spotlight it makes you wary. It also weeds out the undesirables

>>17422165
So what exactly are they looking for

>>17422158
to an extent yeah, this is college we're talking about. Not as much violence as doing stupid shit while drunk/high

>>17422170
People that are cool in the sense that they can trust them and wont wild out under pressure. Like I said, put in the time, offer to hang out and stuff but dont be an edgy tryhard. Let them come to you in their own good time.

>>17422177
So laid back, relaxed, not afraid to have a beer, can hold a cool conversation about whatever, that sort of thing?

>>17422160(me)

Ok, here's your bad advice:
- Outward expressions of masculine dominance,
- engage: like through negging
- escalate through passive aggression
- deescalate through offering concessions
- demonstrate value
- place yourself relationally in position to another generalized other i.e. women

basically say something sarcastic and passive aggressive 'nice shirt bro'
the other person will have to escalate to save face.
play it off like your kidding and you're just another bro with a 'tough exterior' while being 'pals'
offer drugs (key) 'hey dude I got some blow, you want a bump' (which also shows you're more hardcore then everyone else while being able to keep a secret.)
- find girls and offer to help them talk to them, use peer pressure and group dynamics.
- offer companionship ex. over beers laugh it off " i was just fucking with you guys, but you're alright'

>>17422194
are you sure that wont lead to getting punched?

>>17422186
Partially yeah, the other bit is to hold back and be paitient.

You have to remember if these guys are as alpha as you make them out to be they've been sniffing out fakers for years now. Coolness is something that takes time for them to fully vet

>>17422204
If you get a bid, does that officially mean your an alpha?
Or is it only once your a full member that its done

>>17422201
No, masculinity is all about the facade, actual fighting is still societally unacceptable.

but if you don't show you're willingness to fight, and stand your ground, you appear weak. it's about mutual affirmation of masculine identity, while being able to negotiate the underlying social tension of peer pressure and intimidation.

you still wanna be the 'cool guy' the trick is to make the other person appear out of control, while allowing everyone to save face, so everyone can think they are the 'alpha'

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Also here's a list of questions I will be asked I found from some article not too long ago

What year are you? Sophmore
What’s your major? Physics (Do I lie about this?)
What do you like to do for fun? Kayaking, hiking, volunteering, watching sports (include y/n)
Who have you talked to? (List off the names of the brothers)
Do you know any of the active members? (Say you kind of know X or Y?)
What sports do you play? (Casually play basketball)
Are you in any other organizations? (List off clubs)
What do you think about the guys you’ve met? (Whats the best way to compliment them?)
Are you thinking about joining? (Hell yeah, (too eager or no?))
Why do you want to go Greek? What's the best response to this?
Do you party a lot? (Best response?)

>>17422250
Any other tips?

>>17422194
>>17422194
Alright so passive aggressively insult them, then play it off like you were just kidding, then offer the guy drugs and offer to chill over them?

Also when it comes to the girls how am I supposed to make the brothers think I could help them?

also is this any good or no?

httpwww.tobealpha.comhow-to-rush-a-fraternity

Also so basically is the whole passive aggressive thing really just bantz?

>>17422262
yeah, don't bother. You're all dysfunctional, alcoholic, group think, sex offenders, with a weak of sense of self, looking to others to validate your identity.

true alpha don't give a shit.

Grow the fuck up or jky.

=P good counter play there outing me dude,
I'm just being an asshole, you're alright.

>>17422302
Is this supposed to be the kind of bantz I'll encounter at rush?

At first I was like "what am I reading" but now I'm seeing the subtle tear down, followed by you responding to the inevitable response, and then saying its all cool and your just fucking with him

>>17422206
It isn't a literal bid, its like losing weight, you notice small changes over time, and it doesnt hapen in a week or one night

>>17422328
So they don't expect you to be alpha from the start?

Also how selective are these guys in general?

>>17421355
this all sounds pretty gay OP, are you sure you aren't gay? if you want to be a in a frat why don't pledge or whatever?

>>17422337
cause you cant pledge unless they want you to

>>17422340
don't you rush with a bunch of other people and they then frats who they want?

>>17422337
Masculinity is pretty gay, do you think women actually want people who act like this?

the answer is only the ones who have internalized this bullshit.

good call outing that dude, OP is a faggot.
(psss, OP do you see what just happened?)

>>17422380
This was my best guess >>17422314

Metatalk (bad advice disclaimer)

you can't talk about social norms, the only way to see them is to break them.

it comes back to what I was saying before which is you need transgress, escalate, deescalate (say face) demonstrate value, offer reconciliation.
In groups vs. outgroups
solidarity vs. generalized other

It's pretty sociopathic. emotional manipulation 101

OP is a idiot btw for not knowing this.

If you play an instrument go play with those people, easy in.

If you have friends who are girls, take them to a frat party, play beer pong, that's why they invented this idiotic game, so you can play out this pattern.

- cultivate an air of social contempt while still being an active participant.

if this shit doesn't make sense to you then you're not cut out for this shit brah.

if you give up your weak, if you play into this your fucked.
- bring booze/drugs.
- fist pump harder then all the other dudes.

if you get people to pay attention without appearing desperate you're winning.

mask your shit by pointing out the incompetence of others.

4 years later, get some counseling for all the horrible shit you did and put up with.

>>17422475
where did you learn all this from?

>>17422482
Sociology, it's group dynamics.
and also studying abusive relationships, because fraternities are abusive relationships.

I was also really interested in military socialization growing up, which touches on alot of these topics.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Norm_(social)
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Groupthink
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Solidarity
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Structure_and_agency
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Social_constructionism
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Impression_management

>>17422510
Oh so impression management is the name for what I've been trying to master

>>17422510
>>17422475
Is there some way I can practice this stuff?

>>17422542
You are always practicing this stuff ( like right now), it's just having a word/category to describe something that happens all the time.

To reiterate I honestly really really think you should not join a fraternity.

>>17422558
why not

>>17422878

god, I'm too alpha to give a fuck.

Because you're gonna get raped.

Just don't. Take it as one of those pieces of advice your parents give you and that don't believe until years later it becomes apparent why they said it.

>>17422948
>Because you're gonna get raped.

Somehow I just knew those frat fags were repressed homos.

the rowing guys were actively recruiting

the frat guys were there just to work out

you probably came off as really strange and awkward

if you are needing to practice basic social reading and conversation stepping up to joining a fraternity may be a bit of a leap

>>17421945
this. has probably had a load of bullshit fed to him about how much of a monstrous sexual predator he is and afraid of a false accusation getting him kicked out because "listen and beleive" hurr durr

>>17422963
>>17422948
are you actually serious right now?