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Anonymous
Is it wrong to talk to other girls in the "talking" stage? 2016-08-01 16:12:49 Post No. 17416865
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Is it wrong to talk to other girls in the "talking" stage? 2016-08-01 16:12:49 Post No. 17416865
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Is it wrong to talk to other girls in the "talking" stage?
Anonymous
2016-08-01 16:12:49
Post No. 17416865
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Backstory: I told myself I wouldn't get into LDR again because of alot of shit I've been through that messed me up emotionally and hurt me alot. But I met this girl months ago and we got talking and over time she said she had a crush on me and as time developed I started liking her too. She's smart, pretty and sweet though she lives across the planet from me.
I used to tell her to tell me if she ever likes another guy and she would tell me she worries that I flirt with other girls and etc. But the thing is Im scared of LDR and I don't wanna hurt her even though I like her.
Recently, a friend I got talking to again has been convincing me to meet other girls or to talk to girls or "have a backup" but I feel like I shouldn't treat girls like that, that's just not who I am. But I worry alot because I feel alot of temptation and dirty though about the things I could do if I wanted to. I need some help on this. I don't want to betray her trust, even if she can't see what I'm doing but we're not official yet so I'm confused on what I can or can't do. I'd never try to hurt someone on purpose or "cheat" (i do not respect cheaters) but if we're not actually together then whats wrong and whats right?
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If you're still just talking you aren't in a relationship
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First off, an LDR without actually ever meeting each other in person isn't really an LDR, and people should stop pretending it is. You're roleplaying boyfriend and girlfriend, but if she truly lives across the planet, it's very unlikely you're ever going to meet, and ever going to be intimate. Your friend is right that you should be talking to other girls in real life.
As for the broader question, there's nothing wrong with talking to multiple people at once, but I've normally found that if I have too many options all at once, I get too indecisive and end up with nobody. You could be different.
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>>17416884
Is it worth asking her to make it "official"?
>>17416885
I plan to visit her country next year though. Also to add, this is the last time I'll ever consider or get myself into something "Long distance".
Also before I have ended up in a love triangle over a year ago which also messed me up, so I worry about talking to multiple people.
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>>17416865
If you know someone is wanting or expecting exclusivity from you, you should have a talk with them about expectations and what you're willing to commit to. And once you commit, you stick to that until one of you says otherwise or changes the nature of the relationship.
LDR with someone you've never met is a terrible idea.
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>>17416919
I've seen it happen all the time, it's worked for some and for others it didn't. I've seen threads of the upsides on here, but still I've already given up on it long ago and this is literally the last time I'll ever think of it.
Should I talk to her then? About commitments and expectations?
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