What do I do /adv/?

>>17412607

Well you honestly have nothing stopping you from reaching out to this girl and seeing how she is, maybe stake out her facebook see if she is in a relationship, if not you're good to go, just send a nice message seeing how she is doing it won't be creepy or weird because she knows of you and even had a crush on you at some point.

Just do it man, don't sit around thinking about it and just do it. You can only gain from this situation.

>>17412630
I did something like that probably 2-3 years ago. I only said "Hi", because I was shit at talking to girls. I think I'm a little better now. She didn't respond to the message.

>>17412632

If she didnt respond then sorry to say she's probably not interested, "hi' is perfectly acceptable if you already knew of each other prior, if she wanted to respond she would have.

It's a shitty situation but 8 years is a long time so the girl you're thinking of probably doesnt exist anymore, she's likely a completely different person. Have you checked her social media presence in more recent times? Do you network with old friends during those years over social media anymore?

>>17412638
I'm not sure what to do. I can't stop thinking about how much I hate myself for not doing anything. I don't really use social media. I'm only having problems now because my dog is like my son. I still thought about it before. but he kept me happy.

>>17412647

Just try to remember it was a different time, you were a different person and she was too, try to look forward and use these regrets to impact future decisions, next time push yourself out of your comfort zone so you dont have any regrets.

Another thing you can do to have complete closure is tell this girl all of what you are thinking, tell her how you knew she liked you and you regret not acting on it and have thought about her over the years while you were in the military etc, she could find it sweet and you will get your ultimate answer and can move on regardless of what she says or doesnt say.

>>17412659
I've thought about telling her what I'm thinking before. Sending a long message to put everything on the table, but I don't think it's a good idea considering I won't be in the US for a long time.

>>17412669

If it's weighing on your mind day to day and putting you in a negative state of mine all of the time then I would consider doing it anyway, she won't know that you are not going to be in the US for a long time so her response will be the same regardless. If she responds positively you can talk to her and see where things go from there but waiting around any longer will just leave you stuck in the past and miserable.

>>17412674
Thanks for the advice. I'm going to start writing.

>>17412685

That's great, do you happen to know if she is single at this particular time? For all you know she could be in a committed relationship or even married/kids which in case i would advise against sending such a message.

If you believe she is single however i would 100% go for it, good luck!

>>17412607
She probably doesn't remember you. Find a new girl dude

>>17412697
You're right, she doesn't remember me. I wish I could just find a new girl, but it's not easy to do when you already found the perfect girl and fucked it all up.

>>17412709

She is only perfect inside your head, as you said you never dated and you likely didnt know her very well, even if you did she has aged 8 years and has changed much more then you can imagine, you're fixated on her because she may have liked you and you feel that now that you are alone you wish you had pursued her back when it was a sure thing. I hate to be critical of your feelings but just try to think rationally about everything, and in the mean time send her that message and see where she stands.

>>17412716
Don't worry, criticism always helps. It lets you know what problems you have that you're not willing to admit to yourself.

>>17412716
I just realised I use a fake name on facebook because of my job, and I won't be able to change it again for 60 days.

>>17412731

Just tell her that in your message, tell her who your really are and then proceed with the message. Don't freak out and just go for it

>>17412732
I have a problem with freaking out. If it's something where a possible outcome is death, I have no problems. I just do it. If it involves talking to a girl I like, I immediately freak out and think of thousands of things that can go wrong.

>>17412745

Just force yourself to do it, write the message out in a word document so you can put everything you think on paper and then send it to her via facebook or however you think will reach her. Worst case scenario she is flattered by your message but tells you she is taken/doesnt see you that same way. There really isnt that much of a negative here, and you can have closure and move on and have the comfort of knowing at least you tried. Don't make the same mistake you made 8 years ago and regret it any longer.

>>17412755
That problem isn't as bad anymore. I'm not going to make anymore mistakes I've already made before. Thank you.