Just

I'm fairly sure I don't love her anymore. Why do I still feel anxious when we talk? It's been almost three months since the breakup.

I don't think you are a bitch. I think you are just a sad person. You live a sad life in a shitty apartment with just your cats and only living off sad frozen pizzas. You look like a middle school English teacher and so your act passive aggressive and shitty to everyone because you have nothing else. :)

I haven't slept for three days, meds don't help and i want to die.

You completely fucked me up socially with your manipulative shit. Making me paranoid that everyone in our group hates me has just ruined my ability to connect with any of them because I'm always going to wonder if they're talking about me behind my back.

And for what? We had a bad split and you felt like you deserved to be friends with them more than I did and conspired to kick me out of our group of friends? You know how much I needed them because they were the only real support group I had for being transgender, but you didn't care. As long as you were able to avoid seeing me, it doesn't matter how much you ruin my life.

How do i live a more positive lifestyle?
The more i live life, work, and be around people the more i hate myself and them. I cant stop thinking negative thoughts about what i wish would happen to them and i also really wish some bad things would happen to me for being this way. Perhaps my lack of respect for myself transfers to the people i interact with?

I've been having suicidal thoughts for a while now. I went to the psychiatrist and told her about some of my issues, not that one though. She prescribed me two different antidepressants and something to sleep.
Having this bottle of sleeping pills right by our bed -- my bed is so tempting. They taste awful but it'd only last for a bit, right? It'd be over so fast. And they're tiny, I could easily fill my mouth with all of them. Being so close to ending it all is so freeing.

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When i am in holidays its pic related.
In school time everyone i know even my parents call me a videogame addict/nerd even tough i am enjoying books(have huge book shelf with usually sci-fi or fantasy books) or comics, watching series and movies or driving my road bike aswell. In school lunch times i am only sitting alone and reading books or comics because no one wants to do anything with me anyways. Or they troll and talk to me about annoying stuff like they make jokes that i played too much because i am tired etc. Thats why i am always wearing headphones so i can listen to music and dont bother witht his. Its like an endless cycle. I would have killed myself already but when i tried a female friend was really nice to me but now she betrayed me and i dont trust anyone anymore. I cant kill myself anymore because i am now just too scared of death and the pain..

I fucking hate kelly :^)

>>17409630
Stay out of my life you creep

"We've both crushed on each other at different times in the 5 months we've worked together, done everything but fuck a couple of times too and work hasn't been affected. So if you actually think it's going to affect work then how about you stop doing the same shit that puts us in this situation. You're starting to make me think I'm a creep and that you're a cock tease."

Seriously lads, I actually think she's into me but life isn't goin good for her atm. I like her too but this shit is just draining

I'm legitimately retarded and I want out

I regret being honest about my feelings for her. I could have spent the rest of the summer with her just as a "summer thing" but now she doesnt want to see me again. What kills me the most is the fact that shes the prettiest girl i have ever met, inside and outside.

Don't fap from tomorow onwards. Form a strict time-table. Clean yourself, be pure, do yoga, get sexual thoughts away, don't relapse every 3 days you fucking loser. You are becoming fat again. Where is the older you? What the fuck is wrong with you man? Be the man you anted to be. Start from tomorrow.

D

I've got a knot in my stomach
- flutters

R

Everyone is lying to me and I hate it. Why can't we live in a more honest, moral world? Why do we treat niceness and pity as if they are virtues?

Did anyone else have a lot of friends when they were younger, but lose them so slowly yet surely?
Every person who was once my friend gave me a call I ignored. I packed up this ship and set sail

I dont want to feel like this

I dont want to feel

>>17409704
I wish I could feel

my dad found a bunch of porn videos I have in my computer, it's awkward because he didn't really react. But if I hadn't been careful, a few more clicks and he would have found my weird fetish stuff and now amount of explaining would make up for that.
I still feel very awkward around him, like I have been exposed. I'm sure he must have had his share of porn mags when he was younger but there's always a chance he maybe didn't. And I'm an adult.

>>17409716
You wish you could feel like the girl you love doesnt love you back?

>>17409760
I wish I could feel love, so I don't know

>>17409737
My friend
Maybe i'm wrong
But I think you've crossed the line to addiction if you're collecting porn on your hard drive
I mean it takes me about 5 minutes of flipping through /gif/ to bust 1 nut per day
Take care of yourself

>>17409785
thanks for the advice, I think you are right

>>17409779
Love is a double edged sword

Its the best feeling in the world. But once its over ( or in my case she didnt feel the same about me ) , you feel like shit

Fuck me.

I know that I need to apologize to her, but every day I fucking pussy out and put it off. Its been almost 3 weeks already...

I wish you would stop trying to talk to me. I don't like you anymore and I don't want to be your friend. You lead me on for two months and I don't appreciate being treated that way. There's a reason why I don't follow you on any social media or snapchat or anything anymore. I don't want you in my life. I've moved on and am happy with what I have now.

>>17409835
JUST DO IT

I'm a fat piece of shit and I hate myself for letting myself get so far gone before realizing I need to change.

>>17409892

I know. I know.

It's just that I can't apologize to people easily. Just one of those odd things.

I'm a 30 year old married mother.
I wake up everyday wanting to hang myself off the apartment balcony.

>>17409737
Something similar happened. Dad borrowed my laptop as his laptop wasn't turning on and he had to sent an urgent email. He asked me my laptop while I was sleeping and I said "yeah dad". The laptop got into sleep mode after I dozed after fapping to a porn video.

As you expected, he saw it and turned it off, sent his email and kept the laptop from where he took. I was till sleeping. I woke up with utter shock and went straight to dad and he told me "Son, you are 17 and you shouldn't be doing it and must stop it now before it gets to an addiction."

From then, I never have seen a single porn video. It's been 3 full years since I saw a naked lady in a screen. Had sex 3 times tho, life is so awesome now.

I'm really frustrated because I was interning abroad and was intimate with a guy and really want to see him again just for the sex. Should I go back over Christmas and try my luck? Is it crazy to fly out for a guy just for the sex? I can't decide.

>>17409969
yeah, what are you a landwhale? why waste money just find some other guy at home if sex is all you care about

My girlfriend cheated on me, I keep wanting to text her and show her how angry and hurt I am, but I'm really trying not to
I feel so betrayed and lost, I don't know what to do

Hid behind some trees with some guy in order to smoke a joint today, he made me touch him and then give him a blow job while he was pulling my hair and touching my butt. I kept telling him to stop, but he didn't give a fuck. I was shaking quite a lot and I didn't want to fall into the stream in front of us, but I managed to leave after about 15-20 minutes into it. At first, I didn't even know where I was and I was still shaking too much to run, which I should have done, since he was following me for a while.
I did,however, somehow manage to get home, and worse things have happened to me, and I think I should just do some heroin and go to bed early or something. Maybe I should try acting like it never happened, it's not like someone gives a fuck, they didn't give a fuck all the other times things like this happened, when it was my boyfriend who did it.

>>17409998
It's normal to feel that way. Confront her, as calmly as you can, ask her why did she did that, then proceed with mending the relationship or dump her and move on

Don't pussy out, you can do it. Have some self respect, you can't let people treat you that way.

I CAN FIX THIS

>>17410045
No way I'm mending it, I think I'm picking up some things from her house later today, I dunno what I'll say. I'm not gonna yell or anything, I'm still just in shock

I miss her, but I think I can change this for the better, I better try

My girlfriend loves me more than I love her by far

>>17409647
Never say tomorrow. Start today or not at all.

I'm not sure how to feel regarding relationships. I have some dreams I'd like to pursue (although really, who knows if it'll ever work) which would require me to move across the country (USA). I plan to doing so within the next few years, meaning I'll be probably around 27ish. With that, my dreams go first, but I've always wondered about a relationship. I'm a kissless, virgin, etc., which is whatever.

I tried doing online dating, and that didn't work out. Two unsuccessful dates and less confidence later, I feel even more lonely. I've tried putting myself out there, but it doesn't work. Plus, I wouldn't want to get into a relationship and then be bound where I currently am, unable to move and pursue my dreams. I feel really conflicted, because I feel alone and I don't know that I want to end up being a near late 20s guy with no experience.

How bored do you have to be to tell everyone how you feel about her? I'd ask why you say the stupid shit you do as if hoping she'll see it, but you've pulled the same dumb act for over a year now so I don't expect an answer besides your own whim. Stop being a coward and go tell her, you're just a monotonous record at this point. One that's been left alone to play for far too long. Alternatively, go to sleep and dream about a time machine that'll take you back to 2013, and you can prevent the events of 2014 from ever happening. When you wake up, you might actually be willing to act rather than cower. But just stop repeating yourself and your same dumb patterns, fucking Christ.

to be this mad.

>>17410389
Mad about what?

I hate everyone but I wish I could fit in.

Why am I dying?

Look: sending me pics of you and your gf cuddling, while being pretty aware that I fancy you a lot, is distasteful and mean. I don't know what was your goal; to make me jealous or to send a clear message that I should fuck off? Maybe it was just a mindless bragging, but still, it hurt me pretty deeply. Not even the fact that you got together with her again, but rather that you never consider my feelings whatsoever and despite us being friends, you often act in such an insensitive, egoistic manner.

Now, I mean it when I say I hope you'll find happiness and support with her. Alas, I can't be part of your life anymore for many reasons, and it's something I hope you'll understand. I'm not deleting you from my social networks because I'm petty, or because I wan't to punish you or make a grand dramatic gesture. It's for my own good and mental health. There are way too many things burdening me now (things you are not aware of because you never really ask, because, I guess, you never really care). I have to at least try eliminate little pointless pains from my existence. Unlike you, I don't have a luxury to suffer depression or panic attacks anymore, so I gotta keep going, and for that I need my mental health.

I still have some questions to you, and the knowledge that you will never answer them bugs me the most, because I hate not knowing. But apparently a girl can't have it all.

>>17410387
Have you told them this in person?

>>17410447
No, because the point of the thread is to get shit off your chest. Frankly, it's none of my business whether he actually does, it's just grating that he's done the same shit for a year and in a way that's difficult not to notice. In the end, whether he stops cowering or not isn't my business, I'm simply venting the frustration of still seeing it with absolutely no action on his part to get what he wants. If anyone should tell him this in person, it should be someone closer to him.

>>17410387
Is this about W

>>17410477
This is about someone I won't tell because I'm merely venting. The initials aren't important, as a result. If you think it could be about someone you know, then it may be, or it may not, but whether it is or not you always have the ability to act in support of them or yourself or whatever.

just saw my ex GF of a week on snapchat with her ex before me and he said "send this directly to anon" and everyone laughed, people i thought were my friends, shes now saying she was laughing to not be awkward but i don't believe it, feel like complete shit and want to fucking die

I'm pretty sure this guy 1000% doesn't like me but he responds sounding curious as to why I like him so I'm not really sure? It just feels like shit having to wait 3-4 days just to get a response. Like man, if by some chance you see this you know I like you and I've told you why, please just let me know you don't feel the same way or actually talk to me because this is really frustrating.

>>17410413
Fake it till you make it, anon. I don't like a lot of the people I hang out with but I also don't want to be alone so i just choose to disapprove internally.

>>17410502
I've tried multiple times, everyone seems to see right through me.

I hate it when someone is jealous of your lasting, true feelings for someone, your happiness and makes up a load of crap and tries to undermine you, to ruin your life. If you didn't treat people is way, perhaps you would have a chance of finding happiness for yourself

You could end yourself instead of ending our "friendship" you bitch

>>17410575
Calm down dude, you should've gotten into her knickers when you had the opportunity lmao

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One time i was eating ego waffles. I thought it was strange that there was only one blueberry on one of my waffles. I kept thinking about how strange it was and checked the box to be sure. The expiration date wasnt for another year though.

I threw it away just in case it was mold :(

>>17410575
You sound like a lousy ' friend'.

> 7/10 Girl on the same class starts talking to me
>Bf dumped her after fucking another girl
>She fucks with her ex after breakup and regrets it
>I serve as support for the next 6 months
>Oneitis develops
>She says that she wants me
>Next week fucks with her friends "because she was drunk"
>Comes crying to me next day saying shes a whore
>Does a footjob to me in the middle of the class
>Feels good man
>She fucks with her ex next week
>Comes crying to me and says she needs some time alone
>Fucks with friends again
>Shes happy and she starts talking about some atractive guy she meet
>This will never work anon...my heart will always belongs to my ex and i would eventualy hurt you
>We can still be friends
>Im a fucking beta
>feels bad man

i hate myself so fucking god damn much

i've never taken anything seriously in my life
i'm a leech, i'm ugly, i'm doughy and pale, i'm talentless, i'm a loser, i'm a coward. i've chained myself to rock bottom to keep from floating up, because what's above me is scary and unknown, and i am a spineless worm that is better suited to slithering around in the safe, quiet confines to which i restrain myself than being happy, or having self-esteem, or a fulfilling life, or any number of those things which most take for granted. i don't feel like i can change; i don't feel like i can escape from this. i think misery and nauseating, pathetic self-pity are my lot. i'm too much of a coward to die, but i'm not invested in life; i leave my apartment to buy food, or to go to an exam, or to go eat dinner with my parents, and otherwise i keep the door locked and the blinds drawn, and i sink deeper into the mire.

>>17409634
They weren't talking about you...

I hate you!! You don't know how much hate i have for you. You're a spineless apathetic asshole and I hope no girl will ever see as worthy of giving their love to you. Because you know what? You don't deserve it. And to think that I even liked you back then. You have zero personality and you're not even creative in the least bit. Go choke on some sleeping pills by the time you're 30.

I lost my virginity to him a week ago, now he says he met someone else. I shouldn't have let myself get attached but I just feel so stupid and heartbroken and I can't sleep

>>17410927
What did you think was gonna happen after you sleep with Chad?

>tfw stopped giving a fuck
>tfw became more happy

All I want is to be happy and free.
Live a month or two without this white man technology and you will see the light.

Hey D,
you claim you deleted your FB so that you could cut out the fakes and the users, when really it was because you are a cancerous blight who uses and manipulates, and the rest of those poor saps finally wised up when you started shacking up with a married guy who has now left his SECOND wife and their kid to chase your busted ass. But then again, you two deserve each other. I give it 3 months before you two explode and you start claiming that he beats you. But then again, it wouldn't surprise me if he did beat you. You two are a hot twisted mess of self-pity and denial. Have fun burning in the hell you're constructing.
An Amused on-looker -J

>>17410927
Currently in a similar position, anon. Sucks and am trying not to think about him.

>>17410916
What did he do? Please, I want to hear this because you're so mad.

You are both disgusting. You shit on him and the people still friends with him just because you now have your own thing to focus on. You didn't start until you did, even though he has literally never, ever badmouthed either of you. He has known you since December, and ever since then he has literally done nothing but either focus on his own goals, handle his laptop breaking twice or defend you when everyone you're now trying to fit in with talked shit about you.
"I want to die. I want to die" these were your words everytime you felt down. The guy never, ever insulted you, and defended you whenever he was around, even without actually seeming close to you at all.

Now look at you. Not so willing to spout wanting to die now that you have a new boyfriend, but you are quite willing to shit on him, and so is your new boyfriend. He has done literally nothing to you, ever. And people wondered why I walked away from the whole fucking crowd, every single one of you will be friendly to someone as long as it suits you, and you shit on them as soon as it's convenient. I'm glad that before I completely lost interest in it all, I walked away. I'm also glad H gave up before I did. I only wish L would turn his back to you all, too, instead of being the person you shit on for the sake of having someone to shit on in unity.

All three of us defended you each time for months. That includes L. Shame you're so keen to shit on him now that they're all turned their focus from you. I loathe you.

I don't think I'd willingly kill myself. But I am constantly wishing to be killed, I am always hoping to get in a car crash, get shot or stabbed, get run over, get in an accident of some sort
I hate the fucking pain and suffering I have to feel

I kinda love you too, but I'm happy you stopped talking to me. It's better this way.

>>17409521
Same bro

I'm sorry for never keeping up, I asked how you were doing through other people though.
I was in a very bad place and couldn't focus, I had to get my life straightened out and mature.
I hope you never think you are lonely and no one cares. I have thought about you every single day, for five years straight. I will do everything in my power to make sure you are happy and healthy. I know you're hurting and I understand why. We were never close, but I still love you very much.
I wish you had a better mother, I wish you never went through what I did. Please don't feel like it was your fault. Sometimes bad people have children, and unfortunately we are those kids. Take care of yourself and be safe.

I hope you respond.

Every time I come up on a little shred of happiness, my parents come back into life just to stomp it to pieces.

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FUCK YOU BITCH

FUCK YOU GOT GOING OUT WITH ME FOR TWO MONTHS AND PRETENDING EVERYTHING WAS PERFECT THEN SUDDENLY TELLING ME YOU'RE ONLY ATTRACTED TO ASIANS (WHAT THE FUCK) AND THAT YOU DON'T FEEL ANYTHING EMOTIONALLY WHEN WE'RE TOGETHER

FUCK YOU FOR MAKING IT ALL ABOUT YOURSELF WHEN I TOLD YOU HOW I FELT AFTER HEARING THESE REVELATIONS (UPSET OBVIOUSLY) AND YOU RESPONDED BY SAYING "YOU'RE MAKING ME FEEL BAD"
BITCH HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL? OH WAIT YOU DONT GIVE A SHIT

FUCK YOU FOR STILL CALLING ME AND ACTING ALL SAD WHEN YOU'RE THE ONE WHO ENDED WHAT WE HAD

AND FUCK YOU FOR GIVING ME CHLAMYDIA

BITCH

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>>17409521
>>17411468

>>17409494
I'm a "nignog" and I browse(not lurk) 4chan often. And I am not too partial to the nigger term being thrown around. It's scathing and quite derisive.

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>>17411561
listen here nnnnnnnnnnigger!

>>17411527
Ooooo. I like you..

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To whoever (and we're pretty sure I know who it is) fucked with my brother's truck: fuck you. We have no hard evidence so there's nothing that can be done, but seriously: go fuck yourself. We know it was you and you're not being sneaky.

He was going to spend that money on necessities and now he has to replace both mirrors you broke off and the lights you obliterated. All because we both refused to play your little drama game. You're now trying to stir shit up but I'll tell you that it's useless. We still aren't going to play with trash like you. What we will do is catch you next time. You're not that smart and got lucky since we thought you weren't so petty or immature.

Go die and be eaten by dogs. You'll be much more useful as dog shit and a corpse than you currently are alive and breathing, bitch.

>>17411589
How come?

In order to have the things that I want, I have to be a bad person. I have to become somebody I don't really want to be. Do things that I don't want to be involved in. I've started to do all that now, and I'm struggling to live with myself. I feel so guilty because I'm trying to create a better life for myself, but I'm being selfish in the way I'm doing it, because at this point in time I don't see any other option, and this is my only choice.

>>17411683
You speak the truth, from my view having been in a similar situation before. You seem pretty outgoing and emotionally in tune. And i don't know why but the BITCH at the end made me laugh really hard...wonderful rant sir. Score:10

26 yr old male here

i haven't had sex in like 2 years and i think i lost the skill to talk to women, i seriously think i'm hideous, ugly and going to die alone

>>17411788
20 year old male here

never had sex or asked woman out, I will probably die a virgin with no friends

Why can't I just be happy?

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>>17411816
your sadness amuses me

>>17411448
Initialzzz, anon?

Please stop bring so angry. Why are you snapping at me like this?

Also,
>"What? You don't need to be on antidepressants, you don't have depression"
though you told me that mine is much more severe than yours ever was? I don't know what to say.

Got hit with terrible news. I feel can feel the pain but I can't seem to shed a single tear. I guess its the shock.

Why the fuck does she deserve to be happy? No one who did what she did should ever deserve to be happy, I hope she gets led on and dumped by her new guy, I hope she comes crawling back to me and begs me to take her back
I am resisting so hard to text her and tell her how wrong it is what she did, how much fucking pain and anger she is causing me, how she selfishly threw away 3 years

E,

Why am I still thinking of you? Why can I not move on?

If I had known it would play out this way, I don't know if I would have sacrificed as I have.

Coming up on two years... If there is a God, I will be back to myself in a year, or so.

Why did I believe you? Why?

After finally ending the first month of exercise and diet. I went down by 9 pounds.

I can do better and have a long way ahead but it feels good.

I just wish I had someone to share this with.

>>17411916
Keep up the good work anon!

>>17411916
Great job anon, I'm rooting for you.

>>17411916
A whole month and only 9 pounds, just give up now anon.

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>>17411527
At least they didn't do something similar aaaaannd give you three other STDS

>>17411952
Can't help but that this bait. Thay sounds like a healthy amount to lose over a month. You aren't meant to lose 50lbs over two weeks or whatever those scam magazines want you to believe, it's terrible for your body.

>>17412023
Not exactly terrible, but all that flabbyass skin leftover from your intense workouts will keep piling up ifm you lost so much in little time.

Maybe the chemistry will be messed up, or the digestive function will have a toll taken, but what I do know is that the skin will be fucked up around your gut.

not him, btw

>>17409494
I stopped caring so long ago I honestly have. I'll probably never find love because I just want a degree, a job, and for those two to pay off so I can travel alot. I honestly dont want marriage but I dont think a woman would want a guy who travels, they love commitment and all.

>>17411916
Nice!

>>17411893
(Hugs) Want to tell me about it?

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>>17411893

A gril. I've been with a guy for 2.5 years and I've recently lost him. For more than half of the 2.5 years he admitted to not loving me. And maybe he never did. But I love him so much it's so hard to get rid of him. I've been trying to be stronk throughout this trying as hard as I can to not call or text him but it was too hard. I have constant nightmares and can barely eat anything...and I've cried so much it's ridiculous.

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>>17411783
Thanks m8. But good lord, emotionally in tune is something this BITCH definitely isn't. She called me again today at work while drunk. Talking about "I don't want to lose you". I'm calling her after my shift and politely telling her to fuck off for the remainder of my life. Wish me luck

>>17411975
Very true, good sir. Still sucks though

I'm terrified that I won't get a job in the field I've studied for. I graduated 3 months ago and I've been to like one interview. I'm finding it harder and harder to keep pushing on.

>>17412141
Welcome to the 21st century, pal. Where a Bachelor's degree is the equivalent of what a High school diploma was 40 years ago.

>>17412146
I got into a trade in an attempt to avoid that

>>17412151
Oh. Well good choice

>>17412117
Just got left by my girlfriend too, she cheated on me. I feel so humiliated and betrayed. I keep wanting to text her and tell her how wrong it is what she did, and how everything makes sense, now I see why her words and her actions never matched up
Hope you feel better

>>17412171
We'll get past it. I've told him that I felt treated so unfairly too...but we know that doesn't help. I honestly feel that the angrier I am the harder it is for me to let go. If I let him go on a happy note it makes me feel better. Instead of leaving and yelling at him at the same time.

>>17412181
I don't think it matters for me, I would feel absolutely sick wishing her well, I still love her because she was my entire life for 3 years, but goddamn I can't wish her well
My friend said the new guy she is with is a total scumbag who always leads girls on and dumps them, it feels wrong but I hope that happens to her, 3 years, and she throws is all away after talking to some guy for a few days. We had issues, issues that were easily able to be worked through, ones that I was willing to fix and put my effort into, she didn't give a damn

>>17412195
I know you feel hurt and I know it hurts a lot. I know what it feels like. Trust me, I haven't shred this much tears in a while. I love him so much. But everything happens for a reason! It's truly fate that leads love.

I just shit myself

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Wtf

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I have a hard time ignoring what irrelevant people says or thinks about me.
>I live with my brother in the house that our parents build before they died.
>Have my business so I work from home, rarely talk to neighbors because fuck it.
>Fat lazy female neighbors whose only accomplishment in life is to have kids since 15 talk behind my back
>saying stuff like "that guy never goes to work, is always at home, he's such a loser"
>I will not clarify the situation, like, I'll never turn to them and say "listen lady, I am a freelancer, that means I work from home and own my business"
> I relive the situation during the day, remembering how they talk shit about me when I don't even care how much of a failure in life they are, yet they dare to talk shit about me because their lifes are so dull they have to criticize people they don't even know.
>Need a way to just ignore/stop caring what people say about me, even when I already know they are just too retarded to even comprehend what I do.

>>17412206
Yeah maybe, I'm not interested in pursuing love anytime soon. I just can't imagine getting so connected again with anyone the way I was with her. And the fact that she cheated on me I feel has been leaving me with major trust issues

>>17412226
The next time it happens, confront them about it. They're being fucking dicks. You don't have to take that.

I wish I had gotten with this girl I used to work with. She was gorgeous, had a great personality, and I know she was into me.

Didn't pursue because she was a massive ho.

>>17412234
What's wrong with getting with massive hos?

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>School had me believe I was too dumb for college
>OCD gave me trouble on functioning to a point where I don't feel comfortable on getting a minimum wage job
>25 years old
>Attempted to go to college last year, but it went down poorly
>Experience is low so I make 8 dollars an hour;not good enough to work.
>Dream is so out there that I feel deluded into pursuing it.
>Family hates me
>More useful dead

>>17411525
Went to sleep hoping I'd get some reading done. It's 4AM now and they're all still up, even the fucking dog.

I think I'm falling out of love with my fiance and that thought scares me. I believe I got engaged to him thinking that the finality of marriage would somehow solidify my feelings for him. In the end it just made everything more complicated..
On top of that, I inadvertently started crushing on my coworker around the same time my feelings started to change. I know I'm not *really* interested in my coworker but I think I like it as a sort of distraction from my relationship starting to fall apart. It makes me feel so guilty and ashamed that I feel this way.

I don't know what to do. My fiance is a wonderful person and he treats me well, but I just don't see this working out if I can't stop being so wishy-washy.

>>17412367

Terrible

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>>17412367
>getting married

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Fuck you Jacob. Fuck you too, Kyleigh. You both drug me into your shitty love triangle for three years. I will never be the same and if I had half the spine I used to I would've been gone a long time ago. I regret falling in love with you, I hate you. All you ever did was push me away. I await the day I wake up and don't even think anything of you. I wait for the day you and our memories are stored far back in my head forever. Maybe, I'll find someone who could paint over you. I loved you to an unfathomable extent with my entire heart. Sadly it didn't matter. I loved you so much. I hate you for everything you've done. You took my best friend away from me. You don't want me happy. You never loved me. I hate you so much. I hate you, Jacob. I hope maybe you'll see this too. I hope you suffer as I have suffered

>>17412365
Now he's taking a phone call. Why does that faggot think he has the right to talk openly at 4 AM? It's basic things like this that let you know just how dimwitted people really are, that they don't get you should be quiet at night. Can't wait to live alone.

She's a fucking slag, no point wasting any more time on her.

There are other shawties out there, just need to leave the house and find em.

I wish I could start all over again with the insight about how things would turn out but lack knowledge about the news and vidya I played.

Skills are retained. Knowledge of what my life is now is a premonition and insight/confidence level/mental health is now my current outlook while my personal motivation is still that of what it was back then.

Picking up from the now is gonna be tough shit.

>>17410763
>>17410592
I didn't try to get into a relationship with her in the first place, she keeps fucking telling me how I can trust her and open up to her but then won't even respond to me while I listen to her shit all day like how she had sex and the condom got ripped. Now she is telling me there are better people like me even though the majority just likes her because of her body.

i used to watch incest porn and i hate myself for it, the guilt eats at me all the time, how can i get over it

>>17412474
She's attention whore mate, just trying to shake one off myself.

How is it possible to objectively know that I am not ugly, but still hate myself? I feel trapped. At least if I were actually ugly I would be able to take steps to improve my physical appearance, but it's like my brain that is ugly and I don't know how to fix it. People look at me and talk to me everywhere I go, I get constantly hit on and asked out by all types of people, I am consistently called attractive and rated highly... I don't know. People treat me like I'm attractive. I am always complimented. People pay attention to me. I can objectively acknowledge that I have conventionally attractive features.

But I hate myself? I can't even look in a mirror I look so fucking disgusting. I literally get suicidal thoughts over how much I hate my appearance and sometimes I can't leave my house because the thought of anyone looking at me gives me incredible anxiety. I want to rip off my fucking skin and start over. I can't even express these thoughts to anyone I know in real life because they all laugh like I'm joking, or accuse me of being a compliment-fishing attention whore. I'm not ugly, but I am ugly? I'm ugly to me. What the fuck

Oh shit here's her reply and of course I'm afraid to open it. It's been almost 5 hours and I still haven't opened it. Oh god help me

I regret treating her differently and not fucking her.

>>17412476
Realize that most incest porn you watch isn't really incest.

>>17412476
Talk to someone, a pastor, a shrink.

J,
I'm so sorry for what happened yesterday, i still love you so much that it hurts, please talk to me soon.
E

>>17409521
4th day
just kill me i beg you

I fucking hate everyone I meet, but deep down I still want to make a connection with someone so I dont die alone.

I view almost all of my friends as disposable. One of my only friends that I saw as indisposable killed herself recently. I'm running out of people that I care enough about to keep around. And I'm still reeling from her loss, weeks later.

The other day, I went into an art store and saw an octopus bowl. She would've loved it. I miss her.

N,

If you want to be with me you have to move on from B. I know he's your best friend but if you keep hanging with him he's never going to get over you. You're playing him and the longer you keep him around the faster you're losing me. I know he's my best friend and this whole situation is hard but if you wanted to give me a chance you'd cut him off. Stop being selfish, end the friendship so he can move on with his life and allow us to move forward with ours.

Always,

S

my girlfriend wants to date into college and I love her so much but I think it's a stupid idea. just a recipe for disaster

You'll never want me and it hurts. It hurts, it hurts, it hurts so bad. Where am I going to find somebody like you? Why do I keep chasing you in my dreams?

What you have now is lovely. And I want you, but I want what you have because it's everything I've ever dreamed of. The more I'm around you and see how happy you are in the life I wanted just makes me feel sad. I don't think I'm worthy enough to find a love like yours, to build a life like yours. My dreams just crumble at my feet and I feel this mess of love and heartbreak and sadness and envy all at the same time. All just because of you.

I wish I could tell you everything if it would just lift the weight off my shoulders, but that's selfish. My love for you is pure and I wouldnt want to do anything to hurt you in any way.

yesterday my girlfriend and i dry humped so hard on a public beach in broad daylight i came in my bathing suit and it was hot as fuck

this trashy hot girl used to make fun of me in high school because i was fat. since then, i've lost a lot of weight and become generally attractive to women and she's gained a lot of weight. thing is i would fuck her even harder now because i have a thing for fat chicks

either my self esteem is still shot or i am a slave to my dick

/adv/ is just too transient to be of any real help.

she says she loves me but I'm afraid to say it back because the last girl I loved (and I thought loved me) cheated on me and ruined my life (stuff with family, friends, money, etc)

so sometimes, even though I love being with her, I wonder how someone could even love me. I wonder if she loves me or just loves being in a relationship with me. I've been away on a trip and she calls me every day, telling me she can't wait until I'm home... But deep down I doubt my own value to her.

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Good to know you only care about my pussy, and not my well-being.

I'm scared to get an STD test because I'm sure more than one thing will pop up, thanks to you.

Why are you like this? I wanted your compassion and affection. I only get those when you want something.

Why can't I be like you? Cold, aloof, uncaring, selfish, and unattached.

I'm not any of those things.

I hate me.

I'm beginning to hate you even more.

You asked me if I hated you the other night. You were extremely intoxicated. I said of course not..I'm still infatuated with idea that maybe you genuinely do care.

But your actions day otherwise.
I'm just in denial.

I love you so much it blows my mind. It's always been you. I'd do anything for you, I just wish I knew how you felt about me right now. I know we can't ever go back to being more than friends but the more time we spend around each other, I don't know. Nothing has ever felt as good as your presence. I don't want to come between you and your boyfriend. I'm just so sad. I love you so much.

I DONT WANT TO BE FUCKING FRIENDS

I don't deserve this. I crashed my car and, for my punishment, I get a new 2014 Mazda. I know the collision wasn't my fault, but I still feel really bad about this, and the fact that I'm getting a much nicer car as a result of this makes me feel terrible.

I'm starting to relapse back into the same relationship with my sister that I had before. That is, I'm starting to hate her again. I told my mom that a more healthy relationship was forming between us, but these past few days have been making that really hard. I know that I have no obligation to get along with my sister, so why am I starting to feel guilty about this? Maybe it's just because the reassurance I gave to my mom is turning into a lie.

Would people please stop putting words into my mouth? I swear, everyone has this issue now. My mom, my half-sister, the folks at work, fucking idiots on the Internet, everybody is doing it. Please stop.

Hillary Clinton is going to become the next president of the United States. Fuck this shit.

>>17413383
Patrick?

Why does rejecting people feel good

Damn, reading this thread instills me witth autism.

>>17413383
A?

>>17413642
Really??? How come:(

i steal weed from my brother

I don't know what to do if you're in any of my classes, after what you did to me it's gonna hurt me to see you, I really hope I never have to see you around, but I know I will, I know it's likely we may even be in the same class
Don't try and be friendly with me, don't try and act like you didn't break me

Dear life,
Fuck you. I was completely fine giving up, I had finally accepted that I would never be happy ever again. Just when I was ready to end it you had me meet her just by the most insane coincidence so she could completely change my life. Right when I met her I knew I wanted to see her again, and I did. We kept talking for months and she changed everything about the way I felt and saw life. I finally started forcing myself to go through the hard stuff so I could be strong enough for her, she meant that much to me. The stuff I wouldn't have had the strength to do an ounce of before. We both liked each other, and it was working. I thought the best thing ever was finally going to happen. But things just weren't in the right place. It didn't work, and I knew it couldn't, but I didn't stop myself. I allowed myself to continue to get hurt for months until just three days ago when I had the strength to tell her I couldn't do this anymore. It never worked, but you let me think it would, even after I thought it couldn't you wouldn't stop giving me signs it would. You dragged me out of the darkest pit I could of imagined where I had finally accepted reality to just to kick me as hard as you could in the stomach right when I thought things could become amazing. Fate isn't some beautiful thing that creates little moments that work out for the best, like I thought it was every moment I spent with her. Its some cruel bitch that thinks its funny to rip your heart out of your chest when you finally start to feel again, after everything you've been through, after everything you thought you've grown numb from, after you finally start to think you could never fall for this exact same thing again. Right when you start to think every cold expectation of life you had was wrong, that magical things do exist, and you were finally about to see the light at the end of all this, that's when life hits you with one quick punch harder than it ever has. I'm sick of it.

>>17413955
S?

>>17413819
Because it puts you in a position of power.

I love you so much. but I know you have a boyfriend and I respect that, I wish I could tell you, I REEEAAALY do. you're funny, nice, honest, I have fun every time we hang out, and the best part is [spoiler]we both love comics.[/spoiler] I most of all just want to know, do you feel the same? And if not, I wish you a long and happy relationship

>>17414226
Let go right fucking now or you'll hurt yourself worse than you can possibly imagine.

>>17412947
Iktf anon. People always compliment me on my looks and it feels so fake. I have a hard time excepting compliments in general but when people compliment me on my looks or how i dress it feels weird and i just can't help but think they're lying for my sake. That sounds really messed up but i can believe any of what they say because of how ugly I really am.

>>17413768
>Collision wasn't my fault
You're good here m8.
>Sister
Why do you hate her?
>Putting words in my mouth
Understand that they're only trying to help, and if it really angers you that much, ask them politely to stop when they aren't doing it.
>Hillary Clinton is going to become the next POTUS
In her demonic dreams.
TL;DR Things aren't as bad as they seem.

I'm not sure if I want a meaningful relationship, but I'm open to a partner that's willing to indulge my fetishes and cuddle time to time.

>>17414078
Nope sorry

>>17414226
initials?

I want to break up with my girlfriend but if I do it she will kill herself. I have told her friends and family about her wanting to but they don't care, even after her sister barely survived an attempted suicide because she was rushed to the hospital. This has been going on since February and I just want out.

To make things worse there is a new girl that I really like and might have a chance with.

>>17413383
E?

I like you but you have a long-term girlfriend and I'm not looking to stand in the way of that. I like your friendship. I hope you don't get the wrong idea about me. Standing between someone's happiness is not what I'm about

I love him but he turned me down last time, and I have self respect. I had a chance since but fear held me back. I have to be sure he cares. I'm always there for him, as we have something magical and rare, yet I would never push for something if he doesn't feel the same for me as once he did. Our friendship was first and I respect that. I fell for him, no doubt

>>17414266
Give me the initials you're thinking of and I'll tell you yes or no

>>17414319
D?

>>17413955
What happened?

>>17414329
Do you know the girls initial?

>>17413642
Do you to be more then friends with them or is it something's else....

i'll never stop loving you
and i'm waiting for my time to come
I don't know when, if at all

>>17414336
do you?

>>17414342
Yes I'm the poster

>>17412117
i can never tell if its you on here or not but your wc certainly makes it seem like it

>>17411860
E ... K

>>17414347
does their last initial begin with A?

>>17414369
No sorry

I wanna live off music

>>17411478
Initials?

>>17411907
What did they to you?

>>17414377
Is it an E?

>>17409521
Do anything that distracts your mind (watch tv / browse boards that you like / play random videogames / talk nonsense in a random IRC / whatever).
Do some physical activity (or anything that can get you tired). It's easier to fall asleep if you're physically tired.
Talk to whomever you think appropriate (loved one / anyone really).
I feel like this too from time to time but it's a state and it fades away into another state just like all does.
Try not to think too much about anything. The mind is kinda undermining in these situations.
There's a video on youtube of eckhart tolle in a google talk. Look it up. It might help you like it does me.

>>17414415
There last initial does NOT start with a E

>>17414362
is your initial CD?

Thanks for letting me know you're around
I don't suppose you're thinking of letting go of my heart any time soon
like the time you said they'd never keep you away from me
Quietly I loved you
And aloud
I still do

>>17414431
no. sorry

I some times think that the universe tries to guide us through signs....

Like lately it seems like its been telling me to do something with this girl.

Her town's been mentioned randomly, her favorite Music Artist and genre began playing for hours. And other stuff.... All withing the past 48 hrs

>>17414365
from e to k? What's k second letter?

I've loved you since i first laid my eyes on you. We were 12. now we're 24 and im still in love with you and you just want me to leave you alone. It hurts me so badly that all i can think about is how i can get out of feeling this way. Weed and alcohol help temporarily but I cant help but google her name and search every little thing about her. She said i was freaking her the fuck out when I admitted my feeling for her over messager and basically begged me to leave her alone and not to contact her again.

I am married to another woman and we have a son together. I love my wife, but there was never anything like what i felt anytime about anyone other than my hearts desire.

I love my family and i want to keep it together... but i just don't know if i can go on much longer seeing the woman i love be with somebody else. Knowing hes fucking her and im not.

Of course my dreamgirl would go with someone who is very fit, into sports and is 6'5". Im a thin guy, but i've got a big dick and i dont know why she never wanted me. Now im just that creep that hassnt had an actual conversation with here in years, yet proclaims that he loves her.

>>17414305
Just tell him

I think I really was always only a plaything to him.

He has no idea how to love me like I loved him. He simply doesn't have the capacity and everything has a price. This stings like only the truth of a harsh reality can sting.

>>17414305
There was nothing between us and SJW-ism made you a fucking monster. I deserved better anyway.

>>17414452
Its not who you think it is, sorry m8 I was hoping the right person would read it, but oh well. He did the right thing anyways for both of us.

Why are you such a little bitch?

Elves are selfish, men are gullible, and dwarves are greedy, and what remains is a puzzle in my opinion.

>>17414334
We dated for 3 years, by far the greatest times of my life
This month I got pretty low, things weren't going well for me, I wasn't giving her enough attention and not spending enough time together, she thought I didn't love or care for her anymore, which couldn't have been farther from the truth. So she left me. Turns out, she had already hung out with some guy multiple times before we had even been broken up for a week, and she also hung out with him 3 days in a row while we were dating and then she dumped me on the 4th day.
My friend told me the guy she is with abused his last girlfriend physically and emotionally, I don't believe she knows this
Just hurts how after everything we'd been through and done together, I run into some personal problems and she dumps me and runs off with a scumbag.

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Whatever.

She's my French pressed daydream.

Hey guy, wash your dick. I know it's hot out and the boys get a little sweaty, but if you think for even a millisecond that you might get some action that night , then WASH THAT SHIT.Seriously, no girl wants to blow you if your shit smells like old fish. I will fucking power wash my vag if i think a guy might even get a peak at that shit so yeah. I still like you as a person and all, but come on, don't ask me to blow you then whip out a dirty smelly dick. That's just disrespectful.

>>17412379

Reading this makes me instantly scared of my now triangle between two dangerous women that can kill me.

It really is just time for me to die, I've done all I can to try and make life better but it's impossible. I've had enoguh, 1 more year aftet my family is financially stable, and it's time to go.

No more locked doors!

My gf and I have been dating for 2 years after what we thought was a one night stand and I don't know how I feel. I started living in her dorm room almost a week in since she had a single, but the relationship became unhealthy and I didn't realize it. She would pressure and coerce me into sex, yell at me for my disability and any time something bad happened, and would get angry at me for wanting to leave or spend time with other people, all while telling me she would kill herself if I left her. She almost stole and his the meds I need to function so I wouldn't be able to leave. The second year was better since I got an apartment, but she fell into a depressive cycle that basically left her bedridden, so I had to take time out of classes, sleep, and my personal life to do her chores and help her with work. Now the semester is getting closer and I'm on academic probation because of all this and we've talked about it. She says all this is because of her bipolar disorder, but doesn't act this way with other people. I'm afraid it'll get bad again and I'm not sure if it counts as abuse since she's bipolar, but she says everything will be okay. She's only hit me a few times when she doesn't like what I say, but she said she didn't mean to hurt me afterwards. I'm afraid and I don't know what to do.

>>17415129
Call her a stupid bitch to her face when she shows up crying with a black eye and a split lip.

Never forgive. Never forget.

I find it weird that anime and VNs have the reputation of estranging people from the real world, when from my experiences they just make me feel like I'm missing out on so much of life. It really sucks, having friends seems so great but I can't find anyone to relate to and I such at conversation. With no one to talk to, it doesn't feel like I'm really living.

A few of my good friends are suicidal and I'm starting to realize their well being isn't my responsibility. I've tried so hard to be supportive but fuck I'm ready to live my life for me and stop giving a shit about anyone else's problems.

>>17414255
I hate my sister because she has a knack for getting on my nerves. She has this all-around faux-mature, know-it-all attitude, despite the fact that she is incredibly childish. Sometimes I get the feeling that she's talking down to me, despite the fact that I'm the elder and more accomplished of the two of us.

What makes you think Hillary isn't going to get elected? Do you think Donald is going to be the winner?

Fuck you. I'll find someone else.

I stopped talking to you because I finally thought about how shitty you are. You're a vain, vapid, obsessive, narcissist. You used me for your sick fucking amusement. I don't even want to know how many people you talked shit about me to. It's funny how one person that shouldn't have told me about it had always hinted about it. They always cared, and you were just looking for someone to take care of your emotions while you were ignored for months by an equally shitty person. No wonder you fall for idiots that treat you like that. I really wish I had the other person in my life still, but you; fuck you.

Where the fuck do you find people to date? The weird thing is is that I'm not even socially awkward, but I was dating my ex gf since high school so I didn't need to go 'out' to date.

I don't wanna just bother people at coffee shops about it, but at the same time those are the places I like hanging out and initially I figured yeah I'd just talk to people I meet and ask them out, but now I'm wondering if there are like, commonly acceptable places to ask around?

Should I make an online account somewhere? Fuck this is odd

I wish you weren't so shifty towards me.

>>17415258
You need to dig deep inside yourself and get you're self outta that mind set.

I know it's a cliché but leaving won't make anything better, this is coming from a person who entire life is fucked up.

I dont know you but I've seen people do incredible things, so I know You can get though this.

itll be funny when you try to talk to me kek

You already know how I feel. You're making shit awk.

Im hating everything every fucking day. Im hating people, im hating situations, im hating everyone near and far. I want to be alone then i dont want to be alone. Im fucking hating myself, hating my wife, hating this fucking country im living in, hating all the other countries ive lived in. Hating hating hating terribly and i cant talk to anybody. Fucking hell

The only reason I haven't killed myself is because of what it would do to my family. It's fucked up because I know most of them don't give a fuck about me and only a few have the capacity to even care about me.

I just fucking hope everyone dies

>>17415501
I appreciate the encouragement, if there's really something else for me to do after a year ends, then it will be there, if not then I'll have my answer. I wish you well in your life and hope a decent amount of good comes your way.

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Fuck everyone.

I will isolate myself and wither away.

I WANT TO LIVE ALONE BY MYSELF but im to lazy to work.... so back to being a NEET

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>>17409494
I've been framed for hacking.

>>17414758
Initials? this post is not for you

A social justice warrior is someone who pretends to be interested in social justice for popularity but doesn't actually do anything about it in real life

>>17415707
I know.

I'm just venting at a similar narrative. Sorry in hindsight.

I called it! I fucking called it, J!
Oops, I mean 'G' because your tumblr-ific ass is trans now right?
You got kicked out...AGAIN. This shit happens every time you try to 'reinvent' yourself because the only thing you change is what hobbies and 'cause' you're focusing on. Every 6 months or so you end up screwing someone over, or making your followers so disillusioned that they run from you in droves. You are not a victim of 'the man', you are a sorry sack of shit that only cares about yourself. Hell, you almost starved my god-damn cat because you couldn't be bothered to feed the 'precious animals' you take in. I hope those poor trans-kids don't get sucked into your twisted narcissistic bullshit, because they're too vulnerable to be able to fight off your sick mind-games. At least the house is safe from you and my cat is being taken care of. If I could move in, I would, but I have to finish school. Unlike your sorry ass, I fully plan on making something of myself instead of leaching off of others.
-J
PS, worshiping our child-molester father and dating teenagers when you're 30 isn't going to be overlooked much longer.
PPS: stop claiming to be autistic. As cringe-worthy as you are, you are no aspie and you have no excuse to act like one.

I'd just like to die. I'm fucked up emotionally, been this way for years ,and years, I can't even remember when I started going wrong. My family doesn't get how hard it is for me to be supposedly fine, even though I told them, and they're just not receptive.

I had psychiatrist, psychologist, whatever-ologist, and all I do is ending up in worse shape than before. Should I just say "FUCK IT ALL" ?

I want to love her but my hate for someone else is far greater and it seems that it won't leave me.

I want to make you feel like a woman
I'll eat you out.
I'll lick your feet
I'll cuddle you after a lay.
Whatever it takes to make you feel on top.
I'll grant it.

So I get out of a relationship where I am with a guy who doesn't want to be alone but doesn't want to be with me either. If I asked for anything of him, he wanted to be repaid for his time with sex. He obviously didn't like me but he didn't want me to leave either. It was incredibly lonely. That kind of loneliness is worse than simply being alone. Well, I make the mistake of letting friends set me up with people. And once again is this feeling of loneliness, meeting men who do nothing but talk about themselves and what they want and need. They're not interested in me or connecting with me but rather what kind of functions they can get out of me before they find something better. I made the mistake of trying to be all about some of these guys. I did the things they liked and talked all about them but when it came to doing what I wanted, there was clearly no interest. Maybe I'm boring but I don't like partying or going out every single night. That will never change. Perhaps I should just resign myself to being alone. If I have some control over it, at least I won't have to go through the pain of being actively ignored and neglected until I'm useful or watch someone I love want to be with someone else better.

i feel like i have to repay my parents for how well they've treated me regardless of how worthless i've been as a person, and i fear that with their declining health i might not have the time to do so before they kick the bucket

My cousin was molested at the age of 2 about 8 years ago. It was his mom's boyfriend. We know this because my cousin showed multiple signs to the psychologist and didnt poop for months in fear of it feeling like penetration. They let him off scott free because my cousin was too young to testify. About a year ago my aunt got back together with him. My cousin doesnt remember the molestation obviously. She just married this sick fuck. I dont know what to do. All my little cousins are living with a child molester. How could a mother put her children at risk like this? I tried starting a thread about it and everyone said "lol kill him" but I obviously cant do that. Its like im stuck. Calling the police/CPS wont do anything either because there is no one to testify or any evidence. I hate our court system so much. It is the worst in the world. Fuck everything about it. A professional saying "he has shown all the signs of molestation" should be enough to make it a serious case. Not something that can just be dropped cause "lol he's too young to testify! Let the pedo run wild in the public"

Fuck everything.

>>17415714
there are social justice warriors who actually go out there and do things for .. social justice, otherwise they would have zero traction in our cultural sphere
the term you're looking for is virtue signalling and both politically left and right leaning people are guilty of this because it's part of human social behavior

>>17415240
hear hear

>>17415904
Ah shit man. Where do you live? You can't do shit, and I'm raging inside (I guess that you too). Try to be a confident to your cousins, if anything happens, they should tell you. Even if it's horribly hard to get this close to a child. Daamn, best of luck man.

Damn, it's hard to convince myself that not everyone hates me. Or that sometimes people like to have me around. I'm glad it's true, but it gets hard to remember when I don't go out much or talk to anyone or I can't get out of bed because I'm certain I'm going to say something really shitty the moment I walk out of my room.

I'm trying to be happy, guys. I promise I'll fix all this shit. Or at least make up for what I can't fix.

>>17415904
would you like to be a hero?
is your life good right now?
if you go to jail for maiming this man, make it known what you did, the folks in jail will be kind to you
not to mention a good lawyer will run through hell to defend your case
you could do something great for that toddler, save him from a nightmare that will literally ruin his life
or you could tell 4chan about your reservations.
you think it's joke when people tell you to kill him? they're not joking. the system let that poor baby slip through the cracks. how is this generation going to just sit there and watch?

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I keep drifting between having hope and feeling despair. There aren't any highs anymore, just existence and the deepest lows I've ever felt.

It feels like I'll never escape this. I'll never get a job. I'll never amount to anything. Suicide crosses my mind sometimes but realistically I'd have to leave to another city to do that and that's something I can't afford right now. I wouldn't want to make a mess here.

>>17416078
actually don't do it, i have a better idea
you're gonna still have to take one for the team
but you're gonna have to do everything you can to seduce your aunt and steal her from that monster

Anyone else end up associated with a bunch of literal "this kind of humping should be illegal because IT IS" style perverts and feel very, very uncertain about it? I'm a pretty kinky guy myself but I don't want to get in too deep.

I feel like this is a really hard feel to know. Everyone I know I could either never even hint at this side of my life to, or wouldn't understand my concerns because they're so detached from societal standards in some ways.

>>17416080
what anime is that in the window?

>>17415574
You need to get out, see a movie every once in awhile, do things you wouldn't normally do, and take time for you.

You sound like a good person who hasn't taken a breath and relaxed for a long time.

>>17416087
oh yeah, here's a song to help you get motivated!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fKJDAVvs_JA

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>>17416091
How fucking new is the new generation of four chan?

That's entry level anime shit right there.
[spoiler]End of evangelion[/spoiler]
>>17416080
I really wish I could say it gets better, I really wish. I'm pretty much in a constant circle between feeling great and being able to take on the world and borderline suicidal with an actual course of action on how to kill myself
I feel like it's inescapable right now and everyone tells me it gets better but it never does.

>>17416133
i've been on 4chan since 2006, m8
but i'm a normie stay at home mom, i don't normally watch anime

My sister who's 1.5 years younger than me is engaged and getting married. Meanwhile I'm trying to meet people, but I feel like I'm going to be single for a loooong, looooong time.


There's a female friend that I've liked on again, off again for a while now, but it's pretty obvious she's interested in my best friend of 7 years who is a mutual friend.

I met a cute, nice girl at work. She was extremely easy to talk to and I was going to ask her out. I added her on facebook and apparently she's married.

Another co-worker has been poking me on facebook and messaging me. She's nice, but I've easily had at least five people, including her ex bf and roomates, tell me she is nuttier than squirrel shit. I've been told to not stick your dick in crazy and I'm assuming dating crazy is an even worse idea.

>>17415904

Don't have to kill him.

He could have an accident, breaking his spine leaving him crippled below the waist.
He might even just tell the police he fell down the stairs, because if they look too deeply into it who knows what possible motives they'll find.

Getting the hint yet?
Find the dirt, could be on his computer or some shit, hit him in the back with a sledgehammer, tell him what you've found and say that the police investing this would look for your motive.
Let him know it's better off that people just thought this was a casual "accident".

You're a sad piece of a person.

I read your twitter account after we met and it was dark. Suicidal thoughts, thoughts about lost/broken love, solitude. It was somewhat heart breaking for me - for someone who has never seen that emotional side of you or read about your emotional life before.

It just keeps me wondering why someone so witty, polite and altogether awesome person can be so lonely and broken at the same time. What are the odds that you happened to met a person (me) who digs you a lot?

I wish you could live here, or just a little closer. You'd like my gang. I have so much to show to you. Please don't take the exit route just yet.

crazy girl, on the 16th, 17th, and 18th ill see you!!
hopefully this time you dont get kicked out like the last 3 times. please last til the 3rd day this time. 2 weeks ago i was working security and i did everything i could to keep you from getting in trouble. but i can only do so much. ill be working security at this one too, hopefully.

Dear E,

It must be hard for you to get so much attention and have people hit on you and show their interest all the time. I cannot imagine what horrible life you live.
It must also be absolute terror having to go back from having a good time around south america for 5 weeks and back to a life where you work and socialize with all these horrible people that likes you.
I have such compassion towards you and your horrible life.

P.S. Fuck you and your "you are just depressed". And stop seeking my pity for your non-existing problems from me

L

>>17415904
Listen man. were not telling you to do ANYTHING illegal, we're just telling you that the justice system can be really helpful in a situation like yours.

>>17409942
Amen sister

>>17416327
i know this
i got in trouble with the cops one time, and they were like balls deep in my mom's purse just for the fuck of it, trying to root out bullshit

>>17416748
you know what i did last night so my husband would get me a bottle of wine?
i oiled up my huge ass and basically jacked him off with my ass cheeks

don't come at me like this

When people are happy and smiling, they aren't meant to use their newfound happiness to walk over someone who used to be considerate to them while they were depressed. Seems neither of you were ever taught that.

When you're all sad and mopey you don't mind having as many people to comfort you as you can, but when you're actually feeling good you threw him under the bus for no reason. Literally never did he insult either of you, but you jumped at the chance to insult him just because your boyfriend had done so prior. Both of you flaunt shit just because you're happy, yet don't mind spouting "kill me" and "I want to die" at every chance when you're actually the ones subject to being shit on or feeling like trash.
"People who get to know me don't like me."
I once said you were wrong, but maybe the fucking reason is because you backstab them whenever you get the chance to. And unlike the rest of the circus clowns, you can't pretend you're innocent because you were "brave" enough to do it where everyone could see it was you, because you got that full of yourself. Just like your boyfriend was brave enough to openly do it time and time again.

If human nature is to turn to people that helped you and fling shit completely unprovoked just because the very people who used to insult you started to do it, then humans would truly be disgusting. Thankfully, no, it's just you.

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I think I did good this time, perhaps not though

Transgender and homosexuals who are so vapid and empty in personality that the only thing they have going for them is their sexuality.

I used to date a girl for a month who is now classified as a man. He is a fantastic artist and a generally quiet person. The first thing that pops into my head when I think of him is "Art". Then there's another person. This 6 foot 3 butch dude with a face between Ron Perlman and my balls who insists on wearing fetish gear in public because its expression. He's mentally ill, a dramaqueen and practically tortured his ex by stalking her and taking her to court over several pointless accusations. She had to leave the country because she didn't feel safe.

Everytime he opens his mouth (I refuse to call scum like him by their preferred pronouns), it's always "Oh, because I'm trans". Are you really that much of a boring, empty person that your genitals and where you like to stick them are the only thing noteworthy of you? Same with gays and lesbians who won't shut the fuck up about being gay.

Sexuality and preferences aren't a big deal, there's nothing special about being gay or trans. Stop trying to make it special and generate drama or attention towards such pointless shite. That's also why I personally think shit like gay pride parades are terrible for gay people, I think. You're just causing more people to see you as a different being, but that's besides the point.

Congratulations, you like to put your cock in a different kind of ass, you're not special or unique and nobody fucking cares.

I should've been dead a long time ago.

Fuck you. Fuck you both.

A. You can't fucking communicate with me at all. You never told me you loved me or even want to be with me until after I get with someone, then when I'm single again you don't tell me you have a boyfriend? Just let me throw myself at you trying to reconnect then it's my fault because I "didn't ask"? Fuck you so much. You're supposed to say something, not lie by omission you spineless twat.
Then you have the nerve to sob and get upset when I say I don't want to be your friend anymore and still keep coming back to me acting like nothing ever happened between us.

B. Fuck you even more. A is an asshole out of idiocy but you do all this stuff because you're a self-centred cunt that wants the entire world to revolve around you. I pick you over A then you tell me 2 weeks later you want a non-physical relationship? Then get mad at me after I break up with you because I'm not hanging out with you everyday anymore?
Bitch, we broke up! It's not my fault you want to "be a main character in someone's life or not be in their life at all". That's why you're lonely you cunt. Because you can't accept that people have lives outside of you. Because you get mad when I don't drop everything I'm doing to talk to you when we aren't even together...
Fuck both of you. Neither of you is willing to work at having a healthy relationship with me but neither of you is willing to let me go away unless I become the bad guy.
Just because you have understandable reasons for doing what you do doesn't make your actions any less hurtful. When I finally think I'm out of the pit you both tossed me right back in.

>>17416777
You posted Snufkin.

You did pretty good by my reckoning, anon.

>>17416819
it's all in her hands now

>>17409494
I had my heart broken at 22 years old and am way to scared to love again. I want to have a family so bad but I can't be crushed again. If I think about it to much I get nauseous.

I'm allowed to have a taste.
I want to cause ruin and destruction!
Come here, let me make you feel like you just hit puberty for the first time.

>>17415583

You will regret limiting yourself.
From someone who has taken the same decision at a young age.
Please do not do it.

actually had a dream about you last night Rachi first time ever, the feels have been getting the better of me lately, either that or no fap is fucking with my brain.

school starts back up in 2 weeks,
I need a break from you, I really do, you are beginning to consume my thoughts, there is only one obsessive stubborn creep in this relationship and that is not me bb girl.

ps, you would soo enjoy this novela lel

I wish you were a better person.

This board has me romanticizing my life yet also despising myself and wanting to end it. I feel guilty yet like I've done nothing wrong and all I want is someone to grab a fistful of my hair to tell me it's alright. What is wrong with me?? I don't want to do anything wrong but I feel bad for existing. I hope you haven't written any of these posts about me. I would be long gone

>>17417091
that's similar to how I feel. don't be gone though

you again? I'm surprised. Just close enough for me to notice, and try to see you and far enough facing forward for me not to know! and in a different form again! I want to see you! I want you so much. I love you!

I'm losing attraction to the father of my children and I don't know how to get it back. He hates my family and it makes me angry when he tries to get me to side against them in an argument. If he wasn't so childish and lazy, I would back him up.
Honestly I am just thinking of leaving him but after two kids I am financially dependant on him. I need to get a job and save money...

I saw that memory picture and wanted to acknowledge you, us. But I don't know if you want me in your life. Since we're not even electronically connected, despite our physical and emotional energies. Go ahead and let it mean nothing if you want, let me waste my entire life on you, why not? I've come this far. I didn't want to fulfil my self fulfilling prophecy of failure but it wasn't about losing or winning. It was about feelings that can't be helped, needs that could be met - now, and down the road

Long story short, my boyfriend (now ex) lied to me about cheating on me and treated me like garbage.

I'm still in deeply love with him though, and I keep hoping deep down that one of these days he'll text me asking for me back. It's been close to a month. I don't want to keep hoping though, because our relationship was toxic and it's probably not ever going to happen.

I left because I wasn't happy. I have to keep reminding myself of that.

It hurts so much. I want to move on, but every time I think about getting with another guy it just hurts and it fucking sucks. I don't want to be stuck grieving over this forever.

>>17417110
Does he need to be around your family?

I grew up in a similar household and it seemed to work out fine when one parent didn't go to the in-laws -- ever.

I'm trying it in my marriage, so far so good. I don't like being fake so it's best we avoid it.

>>17417110
Since you have kids and you're married I would highly recommend you try to work it out instead of just leaving him. Marriage shouldn't be broken because of a small reason like that. That's what couples who are dating do. Relationships are about compromise and commitment anyways. So don't think that finding someone else is going to be any better. Youll still need to put up with someone's flaws regardless.

he's acting like i just took a shit on his head

hilarious
he's gonna go tell my husband now
GOOD IT'S TIME FOR SOME REAL BULLSHIT TO GET GOIN' HERE
JUST FUCK MY SHIT UP SENPAI

Not my problem.

I'm a pedophile. I'm sorry but I can't help what I find attractive anymore than a homosexual can. I wish I wasn't born like this, but this is who I am. I've tried everything I can to repress this feeling but all attempts have failed. I wish I didn't have to live in fear ny whole life, I wish people like me were accepted at least on a sexuality level. But I know it won't happen so I might as well kill myself

>>17417216
you don't have to kill yourself
why don't you look into chemical castration?
assuming it doesn't otherwise ruin your quality of life
not all of us were meant for successful pairing and reproduction, many people seem to forget that because we have it so easy nowadays we all seem to feel entitled to sexual fulfillment and happiness when in reality, in nature, many males and females are brutalized and tossed in the proverbial trash bin for the betterment of the species.

But you're lucky, you see, because you're human. You have the ability to forego that need and enjoy yourself with other distractions. You have the ability to contribute to a much larger and more complex society.

Don't be an animal, be a human. Forget the chemical interactions, focus on helping society and enjoying the other circuses human beings have developed to pass the time.

>>17417235
I wish it was that easy, but my life isn't the stereotype people have come to associate with pedophiles. I'm 24, I have a girlfriend, a steady job and live in a nice house. Many would consider me to be normal, and most do on the surface. Nobody knows about my feelings, and they must never know.

It's this dilemma that leads me to believe people are just born with this attraction. It's a fucking curse. I'm still attracted to women too, and this problem doesn't get in the way if my day to day life, but this feeling of knowing I'm scum of society, this feeling that you have the darkest of secrets anyone can possibly hold, do you know what its like to live a life like that? A life where if the truth was found out it's all over? Where everything could just collapse around you the moment they knew?

It's this fear that is constantly on my mind and it won't go away

robotripping is the only thing i can do anymore that makes me feel good. it's not even like i do it a crazy amount, once a week at most. but i just have nothing else

I'm so fucking angry, every few seconds the thoughts pop into my head and I get into such a fit of rage. I just want to tell her how badly she hurt me, how wrong it is what she did.
I regret what I did, I see the times when I could have easily done what I did better but I just didn't, and it frustrates me beyond belief. This anger will not alleviate

>>17417263

some guy actually drowned his kids because he tried to seek help for his pedophilia (he never actually did anything sexual to his children) and they turned against him and tried to take his kids away. he just snapped and took his kids to a lake and threw them in. it's fucking terrible.

there's gotta be something you can do, at least get a professional opinion. perhaps some cbt can help you avoid obsession over children?

but then americans don't fucking provide free mental health care like my country

i am so sorry

>>17417315
I've tried everything i can to stop feeling this way, but after years of effort it just seems futile at this point. It's no more effective than praying the gay away, or rebirthing. I just want you to know that despite anonymity I appreciate your advice and your sympathy. I would never hurt a child, but admitting that I am attracted to some causes uncertainty, and that uncertainty is why society will never accept people like me.

A lead a normal healthy happy life, but i will always have to live with this for the rest of my life, and conceal it. That's the worst part, living a life you are never truly able to express. I don't live in America but the country i do live in makes it compulsory for doctors to report people like me to the authorities and I can't risk that

>>17414231
I know that.

But I feel like if I at least tell her how I feel I can let go easier, i know that sounds weird.

>>17417369
Do you watch CP? Do you ever want to have children?

>>17417263
Do anything you can to get treated and abolish that. If you would want to live a life were you still have these sexual atractions, you should hang yourself.

>>17409689
Because, Honesty in this horrible place is almost completely gone

>>17416856
If that experience didn't teach you some sort of resilience then you need to grow the fuck up. Having your heart broken sucks, it's function is to show you depth of feeling and intimacy. You only learn this from improper choices. As you mature you sound learn what you like and how you need, otherwise don't bother.

you re the only one I love

fuck

>>17417126
My girlfriend of 3 years cheated on me and left me for that guy, who I just found out is also an abusive scumbag (she doesn't know this)
It hurts, it really fucking does, it's the most painful thing I've ever experienced, I don't believe she slept with him or anything, it was more emotional cheating, which to me at the moment seems worse
I've puked multiple times, I can't eat, I can't sleep, it's agony especially knowing she's probably having a great time
I still love her though, I want nothing more than to still be with her, I think her new relationship is going to crash and burn, I believe my friend said that one of his friends is going to tell her about her new boy toy and how he beat his last girlfriend, and I expect her to come crawling back to me, but even though I want to be with her, I don't think anything would make me happier, I don't think I would take her back
I hardly even find women attractive anymore, no one does anything for me anymore, moving on anytime soon seems impossible
I don't have any advice for you, just want you to know that other people are feeling just as shitty and you're not alone. I hope you make it out all okay

>>17417563
I hooe you make it out okay too. Be strong and be selfish, focus in your own happiness now and then maybe you could move on with someone else. Just don't waste your life because of a bitch who betrayed you, think about all you wanted to do, your dreams. Not wanting to sound like cliche of anything, but I mean I support you and hope you go through this well

>>17416856
initials?

>>17417593
Yeah, just really fucking sucks, hard to think about my future when this girl was my future, I wanted to marry her and was so willing to spend the rest of my life with her

My older brother would beat me. He'd put butcher knives to my throat. Shoot me with BB guns, threaten our dog.
If I made a sound during any of this, I'd be called "selfish", for trying to get him into trouble.
I use to try telling our parents that something is wrong with him, and what he'd done, and they scolded me for trying to cause trouble.

I tried to tell his friends what they're really like, and they all laughed about it.

Everyone loves him. Especially girls. In my teens, the girl I loved (my best friend, 'friendzoned'), said she was attracted to him.

In my teens other "friend", 'J', used and manipulated people like crazy. He never felt anything for anyone. He only seemed to develop "crushes" on girls if another guy mentioned that they liked her. Maybe it's to say "look, I'm better than you - she chose me!", maybe it's to mimic normal people and blend in.

This guy I know, 'K'. I'm smarter now. I can see the red flags. Likes to touch people who hate physical contact. Constantly puts others down and acts like he's better than them (despite his lack of goals, career or pretty much any achievement). Cheated on past girlfriends without a hint of guilt or remorse.
Once told me he wanted to punch this girl because she didn't tell him she had a boyfriend when they first met.

I swear to god I'm a psychopath magnet, and I'm the only one who ever she's the truth. Everyone else believes the lies and fucking loves them. Girls especially.

Yeah, and I'm the 'creep'.

Probably for the best, if a girl actually ever liked me, I'd never let her meet my family or 'friends'. I'd wanna run away together with her instead.

My worst fear if falling for someone only to have them fall for my brother or something. To act like he's the better man.
For me to watch as they slowly become more withdrawn, sad, hurt or scared, and still love someone like him, while I'm just a 'creep'.

I also worry that I've become so paranoid I see red flags where there are none.

>>17417619
>I'm the only one who ever SEE's the truth.

Fixed.

maybe the timing was off for one or other of us at certain points in the past, or others interfered

anyway, I just wish we could have a fucking relationship. it's all I need I think

btw - I love you

>>17417629
I wish it was to me

I keep this friendship as professional as possible and you keep pushing the boundaries. This is going to blow up again and the friendship will be ruined.

As usual, I keep what I think of your actions to myself as to spare your feelings. That will never change.

>>17417673
That's worse anon

>>17415660

Uhm, that's a scam.

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This fox tail buttplug is maybe the best purchase I've ever made

ITS SO SOFT AND BEAUTIFUL

My body is so ready

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My feelings are hurt.. One of my best friends forgot about me. She doesn't talk to me much anymore. She told me yesterday we'd skype today. But then ignored me when I asked today about it.

>>17417687
But it's what they'll get. Because despite what this person says about me, they're the ones that don't take criticism well. And what I'll say will just hurt our already fragile friendship. I care about them too much to hurt them with this

>>17417786
cliffhanger bait or what?

>>17417841
No, that was it. I'm not elaborating.

i really wanna die

>>17417905

Me too.. :(

>>17417786
Maybe it's your approach that needs work. Maybe they can take criticism but the way your going about it you just go over the top or come off as an asshole.

>>17417909
That may very well be the issue.

>>17417922
What is the problem? You're saying nothing
No feedback, no learning!

>>17417943
Maybe next time.

>>17417652
Initials?

Her Twitter and Tumblr are an insight into her mind.

She says that she wants a cute relationship, a low-pressure and emotionally fulfilling one. One where she and her boyfriend are the center of each others' worlds, and that nobody and nothing else will be as important to them as they are to each other. No matter what the world throws at them, they'll find their own happiness together.

That's what I want too.

Turns out, she does want all of those things, but she doesn't want them with me.

It hurts.

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My mom just made a mistake that ended up costing me almost 100 dollars. Does she know that she made this mistake? Yes. Does she know how much it cost me? Yes. Does she have any intention of apologizing? Nope. She doesn't care.

And she has the gall to think that I'm the reason why we have such a strained relationship.

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I never really expected anything but it's still cool to see this in action. I just like helping people but this beer is especially tasty today.

>work at vidya shop many years ago
>always helping people out way more than my pay/job title entails
>parents in one holiday, buying two games for their kids (last we had in stock and it was popular)
>card gets denied
>I have a little cash, $50 or so gc from the boss as a 'holiday gift'
>use that, my discount (got in deep shit later) and it covers their games
>they flip, thank me, etc. and I only see them a few times since

now today

>in liquor store, buying some beer after a very hard day at work
>my card keeps getting denied despite having a balance and no cash on me
>suddenly hear "HEY!" and it's the dad from those years ago
>basically we catch up, he sees I'm having trouble and laughs
>buys the beer for me, shakes my hand and we part ways after some more chatting

Doesn't matter if that positive action comes back around and that should never be the main motivation. I'm glad to see people do appreciate it and remember.