Still not over my ex

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I posted here ~10 months ago, a few months after my exbf broke up with me, and you told me to give it time. It's been almost a year now, and I still haven't gotten over him.

About me: I used to be severely depressed, and am still on meds. On the surface, though, I would be considered successful — in my mid 20s, work in a creative career with a high-paying salary (well into six figures). I own a co-op and qualify as upper class in nyc. I have a loving and stable family and a wide circle of great friends. I think I’m pretty average-looking, but I get dates bc I’m a thin asian girl.

My ex is a student. We’re the same age and went to the same hs, but he dropped out to join the Marines. He is good-hearted, kind, and sweet, with common interests. We dated for a year before he broke up with me, citing that he was uncertain, that we were at different points in our lives, and have always felt like there was a “wall” between us. We were going through a bit of a rough patch bc I’d found out he’d been lying about smoking, and I think the stress of the relationship, plus the poor health of his father, was overwhelming for him. Also he mentioned my depression. He kind of left it hanging, saying he’ll “become a better person”.

I’ve been trying my best to get over him. In the past 4 months, I’ve been on 30+ dates with every type of guy imaginable: ivy leaguers, successful guys, tall guys, nice guys, fit guys, funny guys -- one of the guys I’m seeing now is a 6’1” ivy leaguer doctor with blond hair and a 6-pack.

But I’m not over my ex. I miss him so much, but the last time I tried to call him (March), he didn’t pick up and unfriended me. I want to move on but I feel like I’ll never find anybody who’s better for me than him. I want to ask for him back, but I don’t want to be rejected again either — it was so hard the first time. I haven’t told anyone about my plans bc I’m ashamed that I haven’t gotten over him. What do?