me complaining i guess..?

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My mom is a self centered person Who has 5 kids and one on the way. Im the Oldest She finally got rid of the 2 kids, and babies dad.But now I have to water them like I'm the second Mom, but I have to do that even since I was little.. Whats the difference I guess.. 2 days later, she brings home some man just before 7am. Probably some guy from work. I asked who's coming and she told me mind my Business And brung the kids Upstairs To her room and told me to go to mine. I Did. Now us kids fall under 4 men. the 2 kids at the end and the one on the way have the same dad. The rest of us 3 have different dads. I don't know why I'm doing this but.. I guess I just want to Complain.. Whatever I do, she is never pleased No matter what I fuckin do. I'm kinda a loner and have bad anxiety and depression. I can't tell her because of how she is. School is coming and I cry about it because I just really dont want to... I'm Awkward And I just hate people.. Lots. I had to go to this school thing and I had Panic attacks Here n there. I told my mom and she just laughed in my face and said " lol what? I hope you didnt be like oh I'm having a panic attack hahahahah omg " she thinks she's still a teen or something. She keeps clothes she knows damn well she can't fit. Keeping party clothes ( she shouldn't have ) and be like " I can still fit them " shit. Right now we don't have any food. Idk when shell go get some. We can make a grilled cheese or peanut butter and jelly sandwich, that's it. Not sure what to say next but yeah