Can you really be happy ? And what is happiness?

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I second this question. How does one become happy? Or even just content with life, not just going through the motions and getting through the day for the sake of getting through the day.

>>17402967

thats like asking
>is life meaningful?
>what is the meaning of life?

the answer is essentially: whatever makes you feel good. or in this case, whatever makes you happy.

do you honestly want to claim that you are so tragic that you've never ever been happy?

>>17402969

depends on what you like.

i enjoy my job very much. i have meaningful relationships that i know will end, but am grateful to enjoy in the current time. I have hobbies that fulfill me. when something 'bad' happens, i feel accomplished when i overcome it, instead of just sad.

>>17402967
Happiness is the ability to wake up without wanting to go back to sleep.

How does one find it?

Up to you. You can start by getting all of that spaghetti out of your pockets though.

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>>17402972
>depends on what you like.
That explains a lot. I can't seem to find anything I truly enjoy. I try lots of things, but everything just seems bland. I always just feel like I'm passing time.
I don't even feel sad. I just feel, idk bored. Or nothing at all. Like I said, I feel like I'm just passing the days for the sake of passing the days. Like I just keep moving day by day until the time comes and I finally die because that's what I'm supposed to do.
Frankly I feel like the lack of sadness thing is the only thing keeping me from killing myself. Like the only reason I haven't is because I just can't be assed to do it. My whole life is just a passive blur. Like "This sucks but dying would kinda be an inconvenience I guess. Guess I'll just try again tomorrow" but nothing ever changes.

>>17402973

soft disagree. im the happiest person i know, often pretty fulfilled to, and theres nothing i want more than to go back to sleep in the morning.

its a soft disagree cuz i get what you mean though. they never want to wake up. i do.


>>17403118

how much have you really tried though?

one existential mindset is that people can't truly be happy until they make the affirmation to be happy.

i remember when it was for me. about 5 years ago i was sad and miserable and thought life was out to get me. then i said
>i want ot be happy. i want to work at being happy.

every day. and i started to appreciate the little things. i liked the clouds. i enjoyed a nice walk. id enjoy a nice meal. things you get every day but take for granted.

then id push myself to try new things. i play dodgeball on sundays now. i go play pokemon go to meet strangers. i talk to strangers on the bus. my friends and I play lasertag on special occassions. we recently decided that arcades are going to be our next thing.

i spend my time writing about these sorts of existential ideas and putting them in to scripts to hopefully film later this year.

happiness involves looking for it.
>in relationships (platonic or otherwise)
>in mental health
>in career
>in hobbies
>in spirituality / philosophy

>>17403171
I mean, I did have that aha moment a year ago, that's what made me go out and start doing shit. I went outside more. I tried hanging around campus and going to the little events they held. I went to bars. I've been doing the pokemon go thing as well.
But a year later of doing just that, I don't feel like anythings different. I still feel a load of nothingness, and confusion as to where this nothingness is coming from, what am I doing wrong? I'm not really sure how to put it in words. I want to change, and I'm doing all the things people say will change it, but it's not. The only thing I've got keeping me going is the thought of "Well maybe it hasn't been long enough yet". But idk, it's rather unproductive to continue doing something that isn't working for too long don't you think? I've just reached the point of "Maybe I should try something else too." I just don't know what that something else is.
I've got the motivation to continue and go on, and the motivation for improvement, because I mean what else am I gonna do? I'm not gonna kill myself and I don't see the point in just sitting around hoping.

Maybe I'm autistic, idk. And I mean genuine autism not 4chan autism. I feel like somethings gotta be fucked up in my wiring that I can't seem to find a single thing I can be passionate for or enjoy doing despite trying new things all the time.

In my experience just stop over thinking it. You're falling for the same fallacy of the edgelord who says love doesn't exist because it's just chemicals in the brain telling you to breed. He thinks he disproved the existence of love, but in reality he just explained why it happens. People still can feel love, they just don't autistically over think it on that level. You just need to let yourself enjoy things by not expecting some massive rush of deep emotional fulfillment from everything. Go laugh at a rock shaped like a butt or something.

If you genuinely cannot bring yourself to look at something and go "oh neat" and can't for the life of you enjoy things on any level then you've got depression, not autism. Get that checked out, you're missing some chemicals in the brain that are supposed to pop when you see a dog dragging it's ass on a carpet.

well a lot of people that are around me say they´re happy or proud. meanwhile i feel a little depressed.

>>17403221

autism dont have this sort of problem. please do not insult autistic people by making the most uneducated self diagnosis. autistic people have no issue being happy. it is at the end of the day, a learning disability in terms of socializing. you are not experiencing that.

that being said, you are not unique in this situation. you are facing the same existential crisis as most everyone else does at some point.

though you say you want to be happy you may be really trying for the sake of trying, as opposed to genuine search for happiness. by which i mean you try things, but you arent trying to enjoy them. just to do them. its a subconscious thing because you are used to life as it is and have built up your personality around being this longer type guy with a tragic life.

you are on the right track though. stop doing things simply because 'its supposed to help.' and do things you actually enjoy. explore art more than an ything else.

its the difference between watching a movie and making one.
reading a book and writing one.
looking at a comic, and drawing one.

asking for advice, and giving some.

wont be over night but focus on good feelings, not on 'well this is supposed to work, why am i not happy yet?'

you got a ways to go but you are looking in the right direction. this s about self exploration. I can respond if you have more questions but im afraid i cant keep circling the drain if you wish to simply repeat yourself.

good luck

>>17403261
Autism/autistic was just the buzzword before cuck, anon. It doesn't mean real autism.

>>17403272

>was just the buzzword before cuck anon
>it doesnt mean real autism

except for how OP literally fucking said:
>aybe I'm autistic, idk.
>And I mean genuine autism not 4chan autism.

still think drugs are cool?

>>17403287
Drugs are cool.
He is not OP.
I missed that part of the text.

>>17403261
Ok, I think I get what you're saying. Right practice, wrong reasons. I'm really not trying to throw myself a pity party or anything, I know it kinda sounds like that, I just don't know how to express it.
Think of me as a blank slate. I'm 100% neutral to everything. Nothing is bad, nothing is good either. I don't even have a hint at what things I should try that I MIGHT enjoy so I've just been trying everything I can find an event for.
I will say, and maybe this is a positive thing despite the way it sounds, I have found a couple things to "rule out". Like a very select few things have tipped me out of the neutrality, even though they didn't tip me the way I'd like. I know I don't like sports. Neither participating or watching. I don't like competition, I find it exhausting. This at least though gives me hope that if I can step out of this neutral zone one way, maybe I can the other way too.
But everything else I've ever tried, including art of many varieties, I still stand in the neutral zone on. I don't hate it, but I don't love it either. I'm having difficulty on how to force myself to like something, or force myself to go into something thinking anything but that firm middle ground of "I may like this or I may not".
And how would a person like me, a completely blank canvas, find those things I "actually enjoy"?

I'm trying to remember back to when I was happy last. I think that was when I was 16 dating my boyfriend (I'm a woman btw). I remember liking the feeling of supporting someone. I used to be such a people pleaser, I genuinely liked seeing other people become happy. It made me happy to make someone else happy. But I mean, that was a long time ago. I can't date him again.

>>17403272
>>17403287
>>17403310
Also sorry to start this shitwar, wasn't trying to be insulting or anything. I'll admit I don't know much about autism and that was my bad. I thought autism did make your brain and thinking kinda weird, and it could make you feel this passiveness I'm experiencing. This is based off the limited knowledge I have on the whole "Autistic genius" thing, thinking maybe they don't care or know much about anything except this ONE thing. Maybe that's me. I Just have this ONE thing I'm all about, but I haven't found it yet.
But I was also just using it as a loose example to express my concern with maybe it's not just a mental thing to snap out of, maybe there's something physically wrong with me.

>>17403321

>im not trying to throw a pity party

and i believe you, to a degree. you are on a specific path of development, and you are several steps ahead of most of the people on /adv/. but some part of you is afraid to move on.

>im 100% neutral to everything

and this is what you need to stop believing. you are defining yourself. you have already decided, by saying that you are neutral, that no matter what you try you will be neutral to it. think about it. you may think of it as observing your past patterns, but you are at the very least subconsciously letting it define your future actions.

let yourself get excited. ask yourself. out loud, to get excited.

>i stand neutral on art

and this is what i have trouble believing. you are not truly participating in art if you are being neutral. art is taking what you feel and putting it into some form.

right now you feel neutral, but you are clearly pining for meaning. so go draw what that is. go write what that is. write a story and see what that character finds.

>i cant date him again

he is not the only person you can make happy. go volunteer if you must. go babysit. go make a random not so hot anon REALLY happy that you make a move on him.

>>17403329

i get it. i was more aggresive than educational.

>this one thing im all about but havent found it yet

people act like they need one thing to define their lives. they dont. they can have many things.

OP, you're asking for a steady, constant supply of happiness. Things make you happy already, and you want to experience the feeling of being happy, but over the course of years instead of a single day or weekend.


In order to be happy for prolonged amounts of time:
>Be the kind if person that always looks for something to be happy about
>Ignore or tolerate as many negative things that enter your life as possible
>realize that a bad day does not mean the end of happiness overall, just sudden decrease in it for a while.

You have to actually be a positive person if you want to seek happiness from the world. If that isn't you, either change your behavior or change your expectations.

>>17403342
Alright, I'll give that a go. The art I've tried, like I tried to learn guitar, but I didn't find it all that interesting and it just hurt my fingers. I tried crochet, but it was just long and tedious. I kinda liked doing it, but also didn't at the same time you know?
I used to play video games, specifically ones around creation like minecraft and the sims, but I got bored of them easy. I used to write and draw, but I was pretty downright awful at it, and I never saw the point if I wasn't going to show anyone. (I have a hard time in general just doing things for me. Think it follows that happiness I get about making others happy.) But maybe I just need to reexplore those things I used to kind of enjoy before in a better mindset.

>people act like they need one thing to define their lives
Oh no, I was just saying that's why I thought I was possibly autistic. Like for example, the kid I used to baby sit in high school was autistic. He only liked planes. If it didn't have anything to do with planes, he wasn't interested, and would change the subject to make it include planes or legit just walk away so he could go play with his planes. That was his one thing he was interested in. So like, I was thinking "Maybe I am autistic like this kid, but I haven't found my 'plane' yet". Just explaining my thought process on that one. Why I genuinely thought maybe autism could possibly be the problem. I know normal people usually have multiple passions.

Thank you though. I still don't quite know how to get the power to completely flip my way of thinking, but I can try.

>>17403398

you outlined your problems, and are deciding to dismiss things for arbitrary reasons.

with guitar you werent expressing yourself, just learning. video games arent art.

writing and drawing is, but you gave up because you werent immediately magically awesome at it. consider not doing that.

>>17403412
Alright. Maybe I'll try drawing again. I included the video games because I believe they most certainly can be a medium for art, if not the creation of games themselves being a work of art. Like some of the stuff people make in minecraft is kind of impressive I guess. When I would play the sims I spent most of my time making the house, I used to really like architecture and that was my way of building/designing a house without having to have the physics, math, and whatever knowledge to do so.