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Me and my best friend have just finished our degrees and are

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Me and my best friend have just finished our degrees and are thinking to start renting a place together. Do you think it would ruin a friendship, living together? We get on really well and have done since we were 16. I'm just concerned that we'll break our friendship and the dream bubble of two dudes finally away from parents, livin' the dream, will burst horrible in my face.
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>>17399402
depends entirely on the people moving in together.

Insert every tv show episode of 2 friends moving in together and finding it tough.
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>>17399402

it depends on the people like the other anon said. being friends and being roommates are two very different things. but sometimes you happen to align the qualities.

its easier to be friends with a roommate then it is to be roommates with a friend to be honest.

i had a friend, we got along great, but moving in together ruined that. namely because I enjoy and appreciate my alone time, and he'd get mad if i say, watched family guy, without him.

getting on really well doesnt tell you if you have similar habits in terms of cleanliness or noise or sleep or what have you.
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Think about a few things. Looking back at being at his house, does he keep his room he same way you do? Where are his clothes.. put away or on the floor? What are his eating habits? Has he been away from mommy long enough to know how to live on his own?

Compare the answers to you and see if there's some compatibility. If you're someone who likes a fairly nice place and his room is always a mess, or if he likes to dump his jacket and shoes on the floor at the front door, it ain't going to work.

Having said that you could try and put a one-year limit on it, but under the worse conditions, one year will seem like a lifetime.
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>>17399402
It will be a challenge but it won't 100% affect your friendship for the worse. It's a skill to live with someone and not get on their nerves. Most are pretty bad at it as children, and this will likely be your time to learn. Just try not to spend too much time with him, as that usually increases friction. Things like cooking/cleaning you'll have to figure out with him. At the end of the day remember that you care about this person. Whatever weird idiosyncrasies piss you off likely don't matter, and remembering that helps.
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>>17399426
>>17399444>>17399457
>>17399415


I lived with 5 other people before and "living habbits" liek eating/sleeping patterns, cleanliness etc. didn't bother me too much then. And we both have 08.00 to 16.30 jobs, so I'm thinking that we shouldn't get sick of each other.

I think I'll just go into it with blind optimism and if doesn't work out, then we can split, but it'd be cool to know I guess before spending loads of money.
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>>17399402
i was faced with the same option just a few months ago. im glad i got my own place. it's one thing to be a friend. and it's one thing to be a roommate. i think those lines should never be mixed in any way. You learn all the annoying habits of friends if you live with them, and you feel trapped to call them out on it, cause you're their friend as well. if you could come to some sort of agreement about interacting on those terms (of being a roommate before friends or something) maybe you could pull it off, but it just seems too risky to try.
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>>17399402
i lived with my friend from college for 7 years, never had an issue. it was a lot of fun having somone to kick it with all the time. obviously depends on how you guys treat each other.
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>>17399464

you are not him. you may be able to simply disregard everyone else in your living space but that could ultimately be the thing that drives him mad. time also changes things. you are leaving college and starting your own life in an actual home of sorts, no longer just a box that you keep your stuff in and sleep in.

im not saying you shouldnt do it, just that you should be cautious and open minded, because if you are not, it can easily implode. perhaps discuss potential rules.

and actually write them down.

what if one of you leaves chicken bones in the sink, they make it into the disposal, the other one flips the switch, not knowing of said chicken bones, and then you need to fix the garbage disposal?

what if you blame him for leaving the chicken bones in there, and he blames you for turning it on with chicken bones in there? what if he refuses to pay for it to be fixed because yo uare the one who flipped the switch and he 'doesnt really get that fancy unnecessary appliance anyway' ?

its not as simple as having a minor issue, going home and forgetting about it. you live with it. and the fact that you say 'other peopel didnt bother me so ill be fine' shows that you arent being empathetic, sympathetic, or understanding to others, but rather closing them off and continuing to live your own life regardless.

what then do you do when your life is a hinderance ot him?
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>>17399495
I just do my thing. cook, eat, shower, sleep, play games, go to work... we see each other after work always anyway.

I suppose I have been looking at this in a self-centred way though - the idealistic view of a 22 year old man-child.

hasn't anyone got anything good to say about it? seems pretty negative so far
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>>17399506

>hasnt anyone got anything good to say about it?

the fact that you ask the question tells us you are simply looking for validation. someone in real life probably warned you to the potential issues and now you are trying to find someone to agree with you. our experience says otherwise.

>i just do my thing
>cook

remember the chicken bones? my friend thoguht the same thing. he cooked, and i made a big deal out of it cuz i didnt go out of my way to essentially clean his mess.

>shower

do you take really long showers that jack up the water bill? do you leave the tub dirty and never clean it? does your or your girlfriends hair end up in the drain all the fucking time and you never clean it out?

>play games

do you play them alone and he feels like you dont want to hang out with him enough anymore? or do you insist he play all the time and he feels like he cant get away and now that you live together communication is more toughy

>Go to work

you mention you have the same hours, so are you competing for bathroom time? or are they slightly different hours and you are really fucking loud in the morning or rather hes too sensitive to your noise and you cant figure out how to be more quiet?

>we see each other after work always anyway

yes. but at the other persons home. where one of you feels obligated to follow the others lead. as opposed to in a shared home where your competing ideas come to life.


again, im not saying dont do it, but you have to be more open minded. you seem to be a very 'you' oriented person and arent thinking about anythign beyond your desire: to live with a friend.

make a list of thoughts, ideas, rules. will there be chores? how soon do you have to clean something off the floor or counter before its 'thrown away'? what happens if one of you gets a gf, is she allowed to be there when you are not? or is she allowed to be there for two weeks in a row? who gets the bigger room?
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>>17399402
I've lived with my best friend for the past 5 years.

Never butted heads, unless you count the occasional macho man randy savage wrestling moves we do on occasions.
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>>17399553
To add on, we're both mostly comfortable living in filth, but also don't mind cleaning up if we have company coming over.

During football season, our place was fucking trashed, but then saturday morning comes, and both of our dads come over, so we pick up at least the front room, and make sure we're the first to jump up and grab drinks for the house, instead of having them go to our nasty ass trashed kitchen.


But, for regular cleaning, i typically do the living room and take the trash out, and he does the kitchen and bathroom.
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>>17399535
So how do you find someone to live with? because surely there's going to be the same issues living with people off craigslist. And we can't afford to live alone.

You're right though, I need to think more about my friend in this and how he would feel living with me.
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>>17399571
also, I'm living with my parents right now and it drives me insane. He has the same feeling about his, but it's worse for him because his are completely mental (religious fanatics).
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>>17399571

while you are bound to run through these issues it is considered better to run into them with a stranger than with a friend, as you risk losing the friendship.

ive had several destroyed this way. some were even roommates first, became friends, but died cuz of roommate issues such as rent.

roommate suddenly couldnt pay rent, wouldnt explain how, and kept insisting he'd pay it, but would only show up once a week to change his clothes. he was too embrassed to be around us much and wnated to do right but ultimately couldnt. in the end he did worse in his attempts to do good, and our friendship fell apart because of it.

one thing you can do to make living with strangers easier is to simply rent the apartment yourself but sublet the second room. your sublet contract should state tht you can kick your roommate out with only thirty days notice. if your roommate sucks, you kick him out. thats what i do.

also convenient cuz prices in my area have soared so i can charge an extra 300 bucks am month.


again, not saying you SHOULDNT live with your friend but you need to discuss EVERYTHING.
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The problems that people have with rooming with a friend are almost always related to discovering that one -- or both -- of them is a douchebag. And a lot of times, this is completely foreseeable, but the known douchebag behavior is excused or ignored because "we're buddies!" and it hasn't affected anything in the friendship (yet).

If you know your friend is irresponsible, does selfish stuff, complains because his parents are always on his back about doing chores and keeping shit clean, ever treats other people like an asshole, always has an excuse as to why he fucked something up and won't fix it, has rationalizations to excuse being a self-entitled shit, or anything along those lines... You're going to see a lot more of that when you're living with them. If you know this applies to *you* then you should know that unless you change, *you* are going to be the asshole roommate.

I've lived with friends before and while sometimes we can grate on each others nerves, if everyone's underlying behavior is to take responsibility for what they do and to be respectful of others, there really aren't serious problems that are going to occur often, and when they do, they're going to get addressed. Being roommates will go pretty smoothly.

Even people who are really fucking messy are going to be ok if they are respectful of others, because they're going to make an effort to keep the common spaces clean and comfortable for the other person (or people) living there.
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>>17399402
I did that. I regret it. My friend is borderline neet right now going
>hur dur it's summer I want to enjoy it not ask for more hours

Sex with gf is a hassle since he's loud and will randomly try to come in the room and through a bitch fit if he can't.

He's also passive aggressive and can't take criticism well.

Don't do it. We were best friends before this.
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If you do I think you have to make your rules and standards clear to each other, he has to know that you want time alone, or that you don't stay up late, etc
You have to both agree on a contract that you will both clean up after yourselves, buy your own food, etc
Could work, but you have to put in the effort
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