i hate my best friend

Sounds like she's a parasite and you got suckered in.
One host to another.

Never ever mistake attention for affection.

This is op. Idk why but it won't let me post from my computer anymore. Will retype the rest on phone

>still really good friends with Daniela
>Sleep over together, cuddle, basically dating without sex
>It hurts a lot but I do it anyway. Shes done a lot of really good shit for me.
>Andrew doesn't know this
>Daniela tells me how much shit Andrew talks about me, mostly how insanely jealous he is of me
>Feelsgoodman
>Only joy I can get from the situation
>Because of friendship with Daniela he is still suspicious of me
>Understandable, hut he's too chicken shit to confront me
>Andrew doesn't stop, he's actually obsessed
>This goes on for a week or so
>Daniela finally tells me all the awful shit Andrew has really been saying about me
>Includes:
>Nobody likes [me] people only make friends for [my] house
>Our friends ignore him because he is disinteresting and weird
>[Me] thinks he's a bodybuilder but he's not even ripped (9% 140lbs at 5'7 not amazing but not bad)
>I'm told there's even more but Daniela won't tell me to spare my feelings
>Heard him talking like this on the phone to someone else, definitely true

Cont

>thought of his as best friend for 7 years
>Fucking devastated
>Knew Andrew was possessive and self absorbed but I didn't think he would use my motive for suicide as a chip to make Daniela think I'm a loser
>Can't confront him directly about this bc Daniela doesn't want him to know she told me
>This blows my fucking mind
>How can you love someone who is so horrible to you and his friends?
>Demand that Andrew have a talk with me
>He declined under the pretense it will be a "heated argument"
>Fucking coward
>Tell him I can't be friends with someone who is terrified to speak their mind
>Denies and deflects
>In short I cut him from my life permanently because he is poison
>Can't explain to friends why I hate his fucking guts
>Want to save Daniela from such a poisonous man but I can't o it without manipulating her, and I won't do that
>All of her family and friends want her to break up with him
>Some of them even want her to date me instead, including her mom
>Whether I end up with her or not, I don't want her to date Andrew

I'm pretty confident I made the right move by cutting him away, but how can I do that and continue my other friendships? Is there anything I can do for Daniela? I don't even know what questions I should be asking, this happened today. What does adv think?

>>17397089
What the fuck did Andrew do wrong, specifically, and how are you not like fucking 16?

>>17397025
>>17397068
>>17397089

In other words, Andrew was right and you're a piece of shit friend. Of course he's going to shit talk someone that would do something like that to him.

>>17397121
I know what you mean, if I were in a city or university I'd just peace out but there aren't a lot of people around so it gets pretty fucking juvenile.

My hatred for him isn't even related to Daniela. He talks shit about me to all my friends trying to ruin my friendships, dared to call me his best friend for 7 years while he just used me for my shit and is being an incredibly huge faggot about the whole situation. This is vindictive shit I wouldn't think even a psycho woman would do. I dont know all the details but I feel the results, my friends are starting to ignore me

>>17397147
>He talks shit about me to all my friends trying to ruin my friendships, dared to call me his best friend for 7 years while he just used me for my shit and is being an incredibly huge faggot about the whole situation.
What do you expect? You butted into his relationship, he called you out on your shit, and you didn't care about his feelings. Whether or not it's true, he's going to say the shit that's going to hurt you the most because he wants you to suffer.

>I dont know all the details but I feel the results, my friends are starting to ignore me
You've shown your friends that you have no qualms with sleeping with the women they're involved with. That is likely the issue here and why they're actively avoiding you.

>>17397147
I feel it.
My best friend just got married.
Fucking married.
There's no going back from that disaster.

He's known her for about a year. Less/more. It doesn't matter.
He said he was dating her and in a month said she was his fiancee.

I feel you.

It's been 18 months since then.
Almost 4 months since they got married.
And I've heard jack shit from him.
I've known him 15 years.
We were brothers.
And now I don't even know.

Look, I say shit about forgiveness and letting the past go.
But.... Looking at my life...

It's hard. It's really hard.
But I have to say that if he reaches out to you, you have to take it.
I would.

Be better.

>>17397174
That's just how some people are, unfortunately. It doesn't mean that he dislikes you, or doesn't care about you, but some people just keep others at a distance once they find someone to fill that void. It's hard to explain, and it's shitty, but he probably has issues.

>>17397165
I would feel completely different about it if he had the guts to say something to me, but he doesn't. He pushed her into my arms and is mad at me for it. I never intended for any of this to happen. He doesn't even know we've had sex, in fact he says I have no game whatsoever so I bet he thinks we haven't even slept together. His gf laughs with me about this shit, it's honestly insane

>>17397184
>It doesn't mean that he dislikes you, or doesn't care about you, but some people just keep others at a distance once they find someone to fill that void. It's hard to explain, and it's shitty, but he probably has issues.
No I get it.
It isn't animosity that keeps him away.
It's... Some kind of satisfaction.
Like he needs to feel something about himself about her.

When we moved in together, when we were just fucking young assholes in college.
He put some jars in the kitchen.
With god damned tea and coffee and fucking almonds.
Why the fuck is there a jar of almonds on the kitchen counter?
Because that's how a kitchen is.

He thinks that way.
I know it.
I've known him for as long as half of you fucks are alive.

He sees her as a puzzle piece in his life's story.

But the thing is, she's not gonna fit.
She fits now. Sure. She's was a fucking virgin before.

But in a few years.
As they grow to know each other.

Then what?
Then I'm going to be hundreds or thousands of miles away.
And he's going to feel alone. I'm going to want to help him but I can't.

So, now, when it's the first year.
I don't try to stop him.
When I'm not trying to bust down that door she put up.
Am I to blame?

He will always be my brother. When he knows that I'm all he has left, I'll answer him.

>>17397025

You are all assholes.

Since I this is /adv/ I suppose I should say stop being assholes.

You want validation - sure, he's a prick but so are you. And so is she. I suppose you all deserve one another.

Break contact and don't do any of that shit again

>>17397218
Hahahahahaaaaa finally! Someone who understands whats going on.

Do you think I should just drop all of my friends including Daniela try to find new ones?

>>17397205
>I would feel completely different about it if he had the guts to say something to me, but he doesn't.
What is there to say? You betrayed his trust and gave no shits. You ended the friendship.

>He pushed her into my arms and is mad at me for it.
No, she ran to nearest emotional tampon because she can't properly communicate with him. If it wasn't you, it would've been someone else. Your mistake was allowing her to latch on to you and shit on your friendship, because that's a huge ego boost for her. She doesn't care about fallout.

>He doesn't even know we've had sex, in fact he says I have no game whatsoever so I bet he thinks we haven't even slept together.
It doesn't matter if he knows about the sex or not, because the emotional cheating that this girl is doing probably feels worse. You don't know everything that's gone on between them and what caused the emotional distance on his end. You only care about what she can do for you, which makes you think that she's a good person, but really, she's a terrible person too.

>His gf laughs with me about this shit, it's honestly insane
You're both disgusting.

>>17397229

Yes, your cycle is toxic.

You're like the male variant of abused girls who pick bad guys. Stahp.

>>17397234
Haha you've got a point

>>17397242
Thank you. I've been feeling this but it helps to hear someone else say it.

>>17397272

We tend to know what's true deep down.

"Man is not a rational creature, man is a rationalizing creature."

If you can remember that, you can make great strides in avoiding the bullshit you tell yourself day by day, and thus great strides toward happiness.

Cognitive dissonance makes people feel like shit and stems from the lies you tell yourself.

Good luck.