I can't get over my ex and it's going to kill me

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This girl broke up with me more than a year ago, and all the gash in the city isn't making me miss her any less. The worst part is probably that every time I go on ig I see something I wish I hadn't. Today I saw her post a screencap of her facetiming this guy. She was holding a pink toy gun I got her one day, one good day, and he was holding a real one. I recognize the guy I think, from this other pic of him sleeping in the grass wearing this nice ass watch. He's definitely an upgrade. I guess I'm happy about that. Idk. I got laid proper last night, by a cute girl, and I still just want to kill myself. Everywhere I go there's more hurt. I try not to think about her, I really try, but sometimes there's just a flash in my head of her moaning for somebody better. It won't go away. It won't shut up. I wanna buy a shotgun and push it out of my head. It would be nice not to have to go out into the world anymore. Looking at people. Looking at myself. I'm not special anymore. I never was. Someone please help me get out of this hell, or at least close my eyes to it.