How's Life

>tfw no fat girlfriend

well
I'm 18 and stopped giving a shit about planning things and college apps and all that I'm just kinda assuming I'll figure it out later. I just want to get out of my home already because it's boring as shit.

>>17389856
I'm 10 years older.

The one thing I wanted from my younger self is to be motivated with a goal.
Whatever path you're on, follow it.
It may suck, but that's OK.
Keep on.

Also, go to frosh events and meet people.

Bonus also, learn how to get shit faced in small company. Like a few close friends or even just alone. Learn how to get black out drunk so when you're at a party, you can have your black out drunk self escort yourself home.
It's like having a backup program.

>>17389940
What ended up becoming your motivation?
Do you still party often or no longer?

I am about to enter university this fall and I have mixed emotions. I had a good time back home in my small suburban town, had lots of friends and a decent family. Glad to be getting out of my boring house and having some independence, since the university I'm headed off to is in the city, so I'll have more opportunities to do things.

I care about the friends I still talk to here, and getting through this boring transition phase.

I regret not having fallen for the guy I've fallen for sooner. Feel like if I would have had a little more time, I could have been able to pull off something with him. I might still be able to, but summer is definitely a difficult time to start a relationship with conflicting schedules and being out of town and all that.

My impossible wish... Is to hang out with my friends for like a full day and night one last time before uni, and to be able to spend that time with that guy by my side.

>>17389856
Gonna round bout' fall. Might be going to some community college for the first year b/c it's cheaper, then gonna go do physics at my state college b/c it's so close. I like physics. Can't tell you what's after that. Biggest regret was bothering with this one girl, never hooked up thankfully, and the story about her is legit too long to put in one post. Rn the only thing I really care about is God, because he's the only thing that's been able to make me happy after getting out of depression. My parents are divorced, and my step dad keeps cheating on my mom. I aspire to just be a living icon of love, truth, and peace, to help all those around me with a similar past to my own. Physics is just for money and learning how the universe works on a fundamental level, which is great. I used to have impossible wishes, now I just try to let all my worries cascade away. They do for the most part.

>>17389954
>What ended up becoming your motivation?
Nothing.
Start your path and invest with in it.
Then at least a sunken cost fallacy will keep you going.

I got nothing.
I'm empty in and out

>>17389980
Gonna be 18* and also, should prob add most of my life I was atheist, as my parents aren't too religious.

>>17389856
>What are you lives looking like?
Not good
>What do you care about most?
Trying to get my shit together
>What do you aspire to be?
Not sure
>Biggest regret?
Not really a regret but dropping out of high school, couldn't deal with the panic attacks
>Impossible wish?
Getting rid of my social anxiety
>What were your pasts like getting to this point?
It could've been so much better
Im 18 and i still don't have a job, high school diploma, driver's license or an ID im not sure how long i can keep being a NEET

i wish to see the world burn

>>17389986
Asking for curiosity sake. Where do you think you're going to go from here? It's never too late to start again. I'm not worried about my own livelihood or future, I do appreciate the advice though.
>>17389973
What are you going to university for? How passionate are you about it? How much do your friends mean to you? Do you think you'll still pursue this guy, or can you get over him and wait for someone else some other time? From personal experience and testimonies of trusted friends, independence isn't all that.
>>17389980
>>17389990
>Only thing I care about is God
Where did He find you? How? How have you been provided for/changed since then? What does being an icon of love, truth, and peace mean to you? When do you think you're able to start helping those who came from similar backgrounds? Why do you want to make physics-level money?

>>17390025
>Asking for curiosity sake. Where do you think you're going to go from here?

I'm trying to join the military.
I have a uni degree. They give bonuses for that.
I'm just trying to find a way to pay for rent and money after to pay from booze and also food. Maybe things after that.

>What are you lives looking like?
Alright, met a cool girl, she's very interesting and straight-forward, will definitely kiss her next time we see each other.
>What do you care about most?
The family.
>What do you aspire to be?
Someone who is independent and dependable.
>Biggest regret?
I don't have regrets cause that would imply living in the past, every bad thing that's happened to me has taught me something new that's made me better, but if you're asking if I could build a time machine and go change something in the past, it'd be my long distance ex gf I was with for 3 years.
>Impossible wish?
Immortality
>What were your pasts like getting to this point?
Mostly inactive, I'm turning 24 soon and when I think between 16-23 I just draw a huge blank. I couldn't type out on 5 pages what I've accomplished in that timeline other than just coast by and letting years rack up. I guess this should be in the regret section, but I'm slowly getting over my shyness, step by step.

>>17390016
Do you plan on taking the GED? How good is your relationship with your family? Do you have any close friends you can lean on or receive help from? Do you have any dreams: love; money; accomplishments; etc?
>>17390031
What branch are you looking to join? Do you have any mistakes in the past other than wasting time that inhibit you from finding work? Any friends you could at least spend time with to get in a higher spirits?
>>17390036
Do you have a close relationship with your family? How long have you known this new girl; how has your time spent with her been so far? What do you think is more important to being independent and dependable: having a good career and being able to be financially supporting and stable on your own, or being someone who is mature, wise and loving, able to hold yourself up as well as others in a very real mental sense. Which one do you care about more? Do you fear death or fear the unknown or both? You don't have any regrets, but you want to live forever and have a great deal of forgotten time behind you, do you wish you did more in your past? Do you want to avoid becoming inactive again?

im 18.
>i need more money for college
>my cat and money
>something biology
>not being more athletic to qualify for scholarships
>not have massive student loans
>i need money

>>17390065
>What branch are you looking to join? Do you have any mistakes in the past other than wasting time that inhibit you from finding work? Any friends you could at least spend time with to get in a higher spirits?
Air Force or Navy. Intelligence. Officer, of course.
Never Army.

Mistakes? Yeah, tons. Like there was a beautiful girl who I dated for a few weeks who was like me but I pussed out at kissing her at our last date so she left me because I was such a fucking faggot pussy.
I'll hate myself forever for that.

But relevant for you is to always be bold and make mistakes because you went too far, not because you went not enough.
Don't be like me.
I'm a fucking turtle. A little tap on my head and I retreat. Don't do that.

As for friends, yeah I got a lot. Thank god. How I meet them, it's up to fate.
One of my current circles is due to dating a girl on the internet, meeting her ex, then meeting her ex after that, and being friends with their friend

Anyways, don't be a pussy like me. Make mistakes and shit.
It's better to fuck everything up then being a limp dick faggot like me

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>>17389856
>what are your lives looking like
Depressing and lonely
>what do you aspire to be
Not sure, but i would say happy
>biggest regret
Not really applicable because I don't really regret anything
>impossible wish
To find someone that loves me
>what were your pasts like getting to this point
For the most part it was being ostracized until the end of high school, lots of repressed anger, and depression

No one ever contacts me and they hardly reply when I try to contact them. I'm convinced that I'm clearly the problem and I hate it. I had absolutely no friends until high school, and they were all more socially retarded than me. I'm very shy but I can manage being social even if I find it tiring. However, I feel like I'm socially autistic, I don't know how to flirt, I don't know how to read people or generally understand feelings, I'm just a weird quiet kid. Right now I'm a music major with a focus in guitar performance. It's fun and I like playing, but I'm filled with so much self doubt and anxiety I can't help but feel like I'll never make it. The best thing to happen recently is that I finally started hitting the gym. There isn't a day where I don't feel like I have nothing going for me and that I should just give up, but I always persevere. I suppose that would be my advice to you OP

>>17389980
I never understood this God thing. I've never felt his prescence or like my prayers did anything. I grew up in the church and my faith disappeared long ago. A former friend tried to get me back into it earlier this year because He helps her and she thought it would help with my depression, but it simply did not work.

>>17389856
>What are your lives looking like?

I think I'm just trying to figure out where to put my biggest strength, which is how quickly I can learn things. I'm at a tough university, and got my ass BEAT my first year because I was horribly depressed. I'm 19 now, and in a sort of purgatory for the summer as I make up grades I missed. I want to know what I can be good at and enjoy. It looks like I'm going into engineering at this point, but anything's fair game, really. I'm just getting on my feet (thankfully doing well in my classes) after overcoming last year's hole.

>What do you care about the most?

I don't know. I'm not so passionate about anything right now. There are things I like to do, and people I love and care about, but nothing jumps to my mind right now for this question. I guess the thing I care most about is figuring the fuck out what I want to do with myself.

>What do you aspire to be?

Someone who gives back to the people. I want to be an engineer because I see the most potential to improve the world there. Maybe I'll make water a little cheaper to desalinate, maybe I'll work on a research team, maybe I'll start a company, I don't know. Whatever I do, I just want to throw my two cents into making everything a little better for the people that are alive.

>Biggest regret?

It sounds stupid because it is, but my biggest regret is over this girl. In other words, I haven't fucked up anywhere that really matters. Had a particularly shitty day today, as I found out that this girl has lost her virginity having casual sex with another friend, and that she's pretty much open to sex with anyone within her close circle of friends except for me. She thinks I'm asexual, I think. That's honestly the biggest thing that's bothering me right now. I'm trying to figure out if trying for girls is worth my time anymore at this point in my life, as this last experience has really left me defeated.

>Impossible wish?

Superpowers. Shit would be cash.

>>17390078

>Past like getting to this point?

I've been a uninteresting good student up until senior year of high school, where I hardly showed up to school. That carried on over to my first year at this university. I shut myself in, smoked weed and played video games nonstop, and pretty much went to a really bad place. Felt like I wasn't cut out for anything, that in the moment of execution, I was worthless.

I took shrooms one night, and long story short, had a massive revelation. Today, I'm at a solid peace with myself. Just rolling with the punches, knowing that I've only started to grow the fuck up this last year and that i have a lot more to go.

Good luck, OP.

>>17390065
>Do you plan on taking the GED?
Not anytime soon
>How good is your relationship with your family? Pretty good
>Do you have any close friends you can lean on or receive help from?
Lost contact with friends ever since i left, one friend still texts me from time to time to check how im doing, always there for me
>Do you have any dreams: love; money; accomplishments; etc?
Dreaming of working on my art to make some money off it, im decent but not good enough
Love, don't care for it, i just really need a friend
No accomplishments yet

I'm 21 so just missed your question's target but fuck it what's one year over?

Currently going into my fourth year in uni. Need a year and a half to graduate.

Getting back to therapy soon to work on my social anxiety and depression (had it since at least junior high) so that I can hopefully make my time left at uni enjoyable and not full of stress and self hatred.

Hope to make at least one friend since I haven't made any new ones in college.

My regret is that I haven't been sociable enough and that I've wasted what could have been great years.

>>17390025
I've actually been seeing lately that physics ain't the best place, but idk, I haven't bothered looking into the prospects. All I keep seeing is that engineers make tons of money idea, followed by physicists can do a lot, but not as good as those who specialized in what they do. It's more so something I think I'd be ok with making a career out of. God provides, but I feel like I should get a job.

I'll just lay out a summary of God's affects on my life. Basically, I was popular in middleschool, and in those advanced classes too. Then everything went to crap around the end of the second year, and I knew it was happening, without ability to stop it. Stepdad just about killed me twice, my grades went down, I got grounded from literally everything b/c of grades going down, and my sociability suffered b/c of it. Wound up feeling crazy and not being able to maintain friendships the last year, on top of getting a crush and not being able to talk to her because my self esteem plummeted, even though we flirted just about every day. Anyways, keep that idea until I get to high school, except I lose contact with everyone going to highschool. Then at high school I'm miraculously still in some form of advanced placement, but I see cliques and decide I dislike everyone there, because they weren't like my friends in middleschool, and they didn't even seem like eachother. I also start dabbling in psionics, and pro tip: it does just about jack all. Tulpae too, but once again, jack all.

Invited to Fellowship of Christian Athletes sophomore year. Basically bible study on friday mornings with doughnuts. I bite. I'm drawn to the bible kind of, and then I'm invited to a church by a girl I thought looked nice. When I arrived there I felt a love that I hadn't felt before, and didn't feel so broken and hurting. Dropped the useless psionics/tulpa stuff and decided to just follow God. Eventually I stop feeling pain and instead am mostly flowing in being calm and relaxed all day1/2

>>17390076
Could've been the church. I myself find the normal stuff, like, non charismatic to be boring and don't really feel God there.
>>17390025
>>17390124
2/2
You know. Not feeling like trash.
Since not being in pain, I've just been learning about how to be a generally all around good guy, helping people, actually not being a prick all day every day, etc. I also kind of have friends now. I got over the past and don't have flashbacks about the bad stuff anymore. I don't cuss anymore either.

When it comes to being an icon of love... well, you ever see those people who are nice to everyone, seem like they generally care, and make others feel good because of that sort of behavior? I wanna be like that. I also want to be calm when everyone else is freaking out, and be able to be there for those who are going through a crisis. Plus I want to mean what I say when I put my words out.

I kind of have already been able to help those around me. A kid on the swim team I was senior to on the swim team had an abusive dad. Plus the kid was practicing magic too, except his worked. Now, he believes in God and feels good about it, doesn't do magic, and lives in Texas with his grandfather. I'll be meeting up with him when he gets his drivers license. To shortly sum up the girl I mentioned earlier, I liked her, she wasn't much a believer, and she was engaged to a 25 year old dude. Didn't tell me ofc, but eventually she did near the end of the year and I talked her out of it. Ofc she got an STD from him before they broke up, but still. Better than being with him, as he still lived with his parents, and she got it b/c he cheated on her with his ex, who also recently got the STD. So yeah. I've been able to help others.

Also, back to physics level money... do they really make a lot of money? If so that'll make mission trips easier. I'll be going to the base to get my passport soon, just in case opportunities rise up irregardless.

>>17390071
Do you think all the answers you're looking for lie in college? Are you passionate about biology to become encumbered by debt to pursue it? Have you ever considered another path in life, career or otherwise?
>>17390074
Shallow observation, but from my perspective it looks like you need to learn to forgive yourself and make peace with the past. Lean on your friends. Look forwards and try to make the best with what you have.
>>17390076
It's easy to find hurt hard to find healing. Easy to find hate hard to find love. Do you think if you keep your friends and find people who truly care for you that you're find with who you are now? Do you want to change?
Small note on the God thing, if you feel comfortable enough, you should go back and just talk with people at the church. Look for those who are engaged and talk with them, ask to hang out, give your story and lay your needs out that you may be provided for, in the sense of love and care and friendship.
>>17390078
Caring for others and helping others can be a passion. You want to give back on a big scale, which isn't bad, but have you considered also helping within your community? Volunteer where help is needed, speak and act in a way which would benefit others, reach out to those who needed to be reached for, etc. Do you want to have sex with this girl? If so why? /adv/ would be to stop caring about her, vent with 3rd party friends who don't know her that may comfort you if needed. Superpowers are pretty epic time. If you had one, not time or space based, or anything super fucking retarded OP, what would it be?
>>17390093
That one friend cares for you a great deal. Hang out with him, LET him love you. See if he has anyone he can introduce to you. Lean on your family as well, request help whenever you're feeling down.
>>17390102
Where do you see your life going, post or pre graduation? What hobbies or interests do you have that could help you make friends?

>>17390102
>>17390138
Well I am going to college for a History degree which is actually great for a corporate work (better than a Business degree apparently) but I haven't looked into internships or any job since I have zero ambition but I'm actively trying to change that.

I'm really just hoping that I can change my life in some way even if it is microscopic. I'm just so sick of where I am.

As for hobbies/ interests, my biggest passion is film but that is surprisingly hard to find an outlet for at my university. But I love to read and love reading non-fiction to I'm hoping to join a book club at my school and connect to people there.

>>17390135
Also, reading a bit of the thread, I feel like adding on I've gotten friends when I've asked for them. Ask for a christian friend? Get one, and she's p outgoing too, knows a lot of party games to play, tons of fun. Asked for a friend a few days ago and met one on omegle. Ask God what stuff means, youth pastor winds up preaching about it, literally ever week, without fail. Unless I don't have any questions.

Before God I just kinda hated everything and felt miserable, like I was against the world. It's what kept me going. At one point I was just about suicidal too. I had a japanese style long knife, idk what it's called, nearly just took it and impaled myself upon it one night. It's gone now, I have no idea where it is.
>>17390031
Also, to this guy, military is good if you join in the right place and don't mind it being the military. My step sister's going in to be a crypto linguist, had her dad help her out in getting a contract. If you know anyone that could help you out besides a recuiter, I'd suggest it, so they can help you get exactly what you want without being swayed/ manipulated. Not that the recruiter is the bad guy, just you should make sure you get it good if you're gonna sign up.

>>17390124
>>17390135
Have you considered asking God what he wants to do with you? Have you considered ministry, or part time ministry whenever you're off work?
>Basically bible study on friday mornings with doughnuts. I bite.
I was given a king size candy bar Easter 2014 and felt an obligation to come to the youth group that was paired with it. Kept coming after that because my brother liked it (he too was invited and felt an obligation) and I was homeschooled and introverted so my brothers were my only friends, then eventually kept coming for God. Main purpose of the story is sweets are retardedly effective at getting dumb kids to give God a chance.
>icon of love
That's pretty epic, friend. That's the love of Christ, that's why you came and stayed, because you were treated as someone loved because you needed love and they had it. Pro tip: you can only love that well when you accept and receive God's love. It's also commanded of us (John 13:34) so it's good for you to want to be like that.
Very good that you're already helping others. My question was a trick question, the answer is that you can start now but you already started.
Have you been discipled yet or heard about discipleship? It's an amazing way to come closer to God, mature your faith, and become much more equipped to be like Christ Jesus. At the end of Matthew, in chapter 28, we're given the command to go and make disciples of all nations and all peoples, and you're no exception, both to being discipled and discipling others. The format is to be life-on-life, as Jesus led his followers and was with them in a personal setting, that's how you're to grow with one another. It's super fucking epic and I would recommend it very strongly, it's one of the only reasons I'm where I am now, and it's something allowing me to grow much more.
Also what do you feel called to? What do you want to do with your life for God? What do you think he wants to do with your life? Big scale or small scale.

>>17390164
What do you dislike so much about your life that you want to change it? What do you want to change it to?
Book clubs are a good idea.

>>17390186
I just dislike how I'm afraid to interact with people, even ones that I know (friends or family). I just sit in my room all the time and get paranoid whenever I walk around outside; like everyone is looking at me or when someone laughs I just think they are making fun of me. I'm just really lonely and bored.

Whenever I make mistakes I also constantly berate myself and I'm never proud of anything I do.

Basically I just want to be happy with myself. Make it feel like I could eventually love myself at some point. I want to be comfortable with other people and experience life and make mistakes that I can learn from rather than give an excuse to call myself worthless.

>>17390179
What do you mean by discipleship? Like, what denomination? I'm charismatic, we do the whole gifts of the spirit thing. I like that.
Also, if you mean the church by they, then yeah, they're accepting. But I mean just the atmosphere was love, I could feel God's presence. Can't really ignore God when he greets you at the door.

As to what I'm called to, well, it's easier to focus on what's in front of me. I know some stuff, but I couldn't tell you what it really means to us in a concrete way, or for me. God just about always surprises.

We've also got spiritual father/son stuff going on. You know, the whole passing of wisdom and learning on to those around you younger in the faith.

>>17390135
>couldve been the church
Maybe so, I've only ever really been to the church my family attends, and I've been to the other church a few times before I stopped talking with my friend. My home church is pretty small and I never felt a change or anything in terms of my faith there, it's very routine. I've never felt God's presence in general, not at my home church, not at the other church, not at the various church camps I've attended or helped at

>>17390138
You're right, it is much easier to find hardships and hate, especially when I'm on a site like this all the time. While I'd love to keep the few friends I still have and ones that truly cared, there is much I want to change within myself that having loving friends won't help. I want to get /fit/, I want to feel motivated, I want stop being so lazy and I want to have confidence. I've learned that I can't rely on others for these. It's a struggle for me through all of it, but all I can do is persevere again

The youth group at my home church was pretty toxic, I was ostracized and picked on there more than anywhere else. The college group there is almost nonexistent. I've been with the college group at the other church a couple of times, including a retreat. The big issue right with them is that I'm almost always at work when they meet and I can't afford to request the time off

>>17390231
That's a hard one, friend. I think a good way to get past yourself is to ask others, your loved ones, how they view you and try to see yourself from a perspective of love and mercy rather than failure.
I also struggle with harsh self-criticism, it's getting better but sometimes dwelling on my mistakes and minuscule, negligible fuck-ups is easier and rather tempting.
>>17390236
>father/son stuff, passing wisdom to those younger in faith
Yea like that. Denomination doesn't really matter since it's just following God the way He designed, so whatever is His will breaks through to anyone pursuing it. Discipleship is like what Jesus did with His disciples, leading them through life, teaching them, speaking life into their personal problems, showing them how to pray, how to study scripture, etc. Mostly one person, a mentor, hanging out in and out of church helping you with your life and equipping you to help yourself and others.
>Calling
You should dream with God about your life. For every hero of faith, including Abraham, Moses, David, John the Baptist, and Peter, the very first thing God ever said to them was who they would be and what they would do. Your calling is a glimpse of what great things you're to do, to encourage you and give you direction. You should ask about it, to those you consider to be wise and to God.

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>>17389856
Currently 18. Turning 19 in November.

Graduated a month or two ago from HS w/ an Associates degree (not planning on furthering education)

kinda on a job hunt for animation/art jobs, mostly because my dad is pressuring me like crazy but i do understand I need to get off my ass and get a job soon.

life is kinda boring at the moment (getting to the depressing stagnate feeling) and im starting to feel like a lazy shit but once i get a job i'll feel better probably

>>17390276
>I was ostracized
I'm sorry about that friend. Nothing's worse than coming a place expecting love and receiving hate. I don't want to start an endless circle of you being promised love and finding yourself kicked down, but if you have it in you then I strongly recommend checking out youth groups and bible studies and asking the leaders there about the Holy Spirit and how they view Him. I earnestly believe that there's much more in life for you, an answer to your questions, and I hope that you're not too hurt to give it another chance.
Alongside that, Jesus spent time hanging out and eating meals with prostitutes, tax collectors, and those considered to be the worst in His day. If you don't receive love and instead are made to feel like shit, then you're not in a place where God is.

>>17390288
You're job hunting for animation or art based shit, is that what you want to pursue in the future? What do you really want out of life? If you just need a basic starter job to get your father off your back and to become productive, I would recommend applying to a grocery store, they always need new people, there's room to move up, and it's fucking easy.

>>17390279
Yeah, I'm going to the dark places, I'll be a teacher. I don't really remember much besides that. I'll also be like a liberty bell, ringing out to free those who are broken. I can't really think of any big promises though.

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>>17390300
I've animated since i was 10 and I'm really aiming toward the animation industry in hopes i can make a cartoon some day.

that's my life goal. but now im looking for jobs that will help me get closer to the industry. while i could get a job at a grocery store or something, it wont really do anything for my resume

I'm not really in a dire need for money because i still live with my parents and I have a lot of money from a commercial deal I got last year

>>17390307
That's exactly the kind of stuff I was getting at. That's pretty epic bro.
You should definitely pursue that, pray to find the path that will bring you the anointing of a teacher.
So what do you think about the immediate future? The decisions you make impact the rate at which you climb closer to God. You may have a place at college, you may not. Do you think it would be good to spend time speaking with God and speaking with your mentors and peers about what path He would have you take before you make a decision?

>>17390318
Okay that's pretty good. What kind of animators and cartoons inspire you? Do you think you're spending a healthy amount of time improving your animation and drawing skills?

>Age
20, 21 next june
>What are you lives looking like?
I don't even fucking know at this point. I'm not even sure I care anymore
>What do you care about most?
Living a life that makes me happy and finding a gf to share it with (muh no gf)
>What do you aspire to be?
Freelance games designer
>Biggest regret?
Playing Overwatch, it's ok but I see no fun in it. No real life regrets desu, I'm ok with who I am even if I'm a fucking social trainwreck.
>Impossible wish?
Finding someone who loves me in my country? Finding a girl like me?
>What were your pasts like getting to this point?
Poor dysfunctional family, shitty childhood, college wasn't so bad, uni is a mixed bag which has so far been more negative than positive. I've always been a social cripple, I'm basically a wizard in training at this point. Still "discovering who I am" and realising it isn't all it's cracked up to be, either that or I'm not the type for the social life of uni.

>>17390279
Thanks for the advice. I have heard from my friends that I'm viewed as an easy target. I was in an abusive friendship and was told that she took things out on me because I would just take it (which I did until I stopped talking to her). They use to view me as annoying in many instances but now he hardly hang out and just view me as weak.

My family is better though. My mom is encouraging and my dad is too although he wasn't in my life much (besides baseball) until a few years ago when I started college.

Everyone else in my family I am not close to an they apparently think I'm gay (which I'm not). Usually I'm just uninvolved with gatherings and people just ignore me.

>>17390332
Well, I can tell you for sure I'm not supposed to go to MorningStar University. After that my youth pastor advised getting some type of career b/c minsters also having a job is more common. I don't feel called to preaching at a pulpit, but still. My mother/father also wanted me to do some college, so I'm honoring them and doing it. Besides that, I'm just doing what's set before me.

>>17390339
I'm currently trying to get a schedule going to improve my drawing skills (like life drawing daily, etc.) I'm also experimenting with different mediums like painting and writing. I spent way too much time studying animation over the years that id didnt focus much on my art so i'm catching up on that now while i have free time (but its hard getting on a schedule)

as for cartoons and animators that inspired me, as i grew up i loved the original spongebob (still my favorite but ONLY seasons 1-3) and other 2000's cartoons

I'm starting to watch more cartoons now to study writing and art styles n such. I'm also studying a lot of non-art things that really interest me because later on when i write and create cartoons for television i'll be able to focus them about those interests (kind of like how steven hillenburg was a marine biologist and created spongebob, a show about a bunch of fish)

>>17390340
How are you going at finding a girlfriend? How are you going at finding the career opportunity that would be for you? What are you doing to recover from the pasts's scars and from your hurt?
>>17390344
I try. I hope you can lean on the love of those who care for you, of your mother and father. You should also drop your shitty friends and look for new ones which build you up and accept you. My advice is somewhat limited if I don't bring God into it, but I hope that whatever I've said helps.
>>17390351
>my youth pastor advised getting some type of career
He's really not wrong, being in the business of Jesus you don't make too much money, but then again money doesn't matter all that much either. Usually getting by on a part time until you feel truly led to something works out wonderfully. College is sometimes good sometimes not, you don't need "higher education" to love Jesus and know Him more, but there are times where getting a diploma could open the door you're meant to go through.
>My mother/father also wanted me to do some college, do I'm honoring them and doing it.
There's a point where your parents will can get in the way of what's better for you and the path you're meant to follow. Going to college could be the right thing, but if you do it then do it for the right reason, go to college because God told you to do so, not because your parents told you to do so. Ultimately He knows what's best for you, and He knows how to grow you to be who you need to be.
>I'm just doing what's set before me.
What is set before you? Is it of God's will? Have you taken time to discern whether it is or not?

>>17390368
That's good, try to see your time spent drawing and creating as a privilege and opportunity to find joy rather than a chore.
Is there anything that inspires you which isn't naturally art? Like books or music or just nature?
What do you like to draw and/or animate? What's the work you have created which you're most proud of?

>>17390379
It does help. I shouldn't push away my parents since they are really are loving and I feel bad for keeping them distant. Certainly something I will improve on.

Yeah my friends aren't the best to say the least. Seems hard to get rid of them when I've been with them for years and do have good memories. But I realize that they are a bad influence on me and are no doubt a piece of why I have the feelings that I do about myself. Better to be literally alone than to feel alone surrounded by people. Hope to make better friends eventually.

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>>17390294
Thanks anon. I really do appreciate it. As much as I'd like to try again, I fear the rejection and failure to feel God. What would I even tell the leaders? "hi, I'm depressed as shit and have a metric ton of anxiety, I've never felt the presence of God and have come to doubt his very existence. How are you?" I already have a hard time being open with people and I'm more likely to just put up an act than really talk about how I feel. Like most men, I've been taught to be resilient and not to show emotion because it is weakness and I cannot slip up for a second.

>>17390399
Someday starts now. You have no reason to hold onto the past, your old memories mean nothing when you're left feeling empty. If you have any hobbies, interests, or clubs you're considered joining I would highly recommend capitalize on the opportunity before you, talk to people, be outgoing, if they hurt you and treat you poorly then drop them, if they become your friend, you have what you wanted.

>>17390379
>How are you going at finding a girlfriend?
To put it simply, I'm not. Only 2 relationships I've had are ldrs and desu I'm not even gonna actively go out and look, I wait for them to drop hints, but considering how western society works (or possibly society in general) that ain't gonna cut it. I'm lost, the only people interested in me are people that never meet me in person.
>How are you going at finding the career opportunity that would be for you?
I'm doing a uni course for it, lacking the drive to actually do anything outside of that which I know is a problem.
>What are you doing to recover from the pasts's scars and from your hurt?
Introspection. Not the greatest idea considering its armchair psychology, but I'd rather hide my shit, I'm already pretty low on the social food chain. Worst part is I know I need to address these demons if I'm going to gain any self confidence or get over my neuroses, but I'm just not really feeling it's worth it, been surrounded by failure, and I see it failing like most other shit in my life.

>>17390404
To be honest, "Hi, I'm depressed as shit and have a metric ton of anxiety, I've never felt the presence of God and have come to doubt His very existence. How are you?" Isn't a bad introduction at all, in a very serious sense, as long as it's to someone build up and faithful. Chances are what you struggle with now they struggle with or have struggled with in the past. You plainly opening up and allowing them to see your situation and speak into their life would be good. They would appreciate your honesty and trust.
As far as
>I fear the rejection and failure to feel God.
If you're rejected then you're at a place where people come to church once a week to 'receive blessings' and go on with their life, where there would be nothing good for you. It would suck big dick and I hope that you wouldn't be rejected again if you reached out. Fear of failure to sense God is pretty reasonable. If you take some anon's word for it then I hope you can have a little faith, but it's definitely one of those things that you don't have until you do, and when you do you can't deny it. I know it may seem petty or a waste of time, but if you pray a simple prayer, and earnestly ask that He would meet you where you're at and allow you to be with Him, then he'll definitely honor you and make a way.

>>17390414
Both 1 and 2 fall down onto 3 so I'll address that. Introspection doesn't work, anon. Not only will you just find yourself dwelling on your failures which will bring you down more, you're also not equipped to help yourself, you should see someone, a mentor, a close loved one, a counselor. Opening up is the hardest fucking thing in the world, I've had to be honest with close, close people about my shittiness and it's no fun, but it's the best thing you could possibly do.
>I'm just not really feeling it's worth it
It is. 100% absolutely worth it. You recovering, you finding motivation, joy, peace, everything that was stolen returning to you, it's the best decision you could make, anon. Look for help.

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>>17390414
>>17390404
>>17390399
>>17390379
Alright friends, OP here. Thanks for the conversation, to appease my curiosity, and allowing me to speak about what truly matters to me. I'm going to go inspect my eyelids, I hope you all have good nights.

>>17389856
> what are you lives looking like?
Look like it's going to a big downfall
>What do you care about most?
Used to care about stuff before but now there's nothing that takes my interest. I just browse this place and nothing else.
>What do you aspire to be?
Used to aspire to being independent and leave a memorable mark in something I was a fan of. Now I don't care.
>Biggest regret?
Not using HS to its fullest.
Being an aspie in HS.
Not talking to the girls that were interested in me and I was interested in them due to being shy.
>Impossible wish?
Playing Helpless Child in the HS of this woman that I obsessed over in my last years.
Talking to her without being a creep before.
Knowing what to do with my life.
Stop being lazy
>What were your pasts like getting to this point?
Joy and after one day hatred and dread.

This is probably worthless since every post I make never gets replied but well, should stop meandering in self pity.

>>17389856
>age
20
>life
Barely decent
>care
Honestly, since I dropped out of college, nothing.
>aspire
I have literally no role models nor any inspiration for what I want to be
>regret
either dropping out of college or moving in with a stranger of a relative
>impossible wish
to be extremely wealthy and satisfied with life
>pasts
either fucking boring as a shut-in or very morbid as all the people I loved the most had died miserable deaths and I was forced to move everywhere. Not counting the fact that the remaining family I have left are crack addicts or alcoholic homicidal maniacs. My brother is the only one who remains, and even he's a fucking wreck because he was forced to go all the way to another city.

In short, literally everything in my life fell apart and I don't know how to get everything back together. I tried getting jobs, but no one wants to hire an inexperienced.

>>17390025

>What are you going to university for?

Business. Was accepted into an honors program at my university for it, which is why I chose the school I did.

>How passionate are you about it?
Well, it'll make me money. So I guess that's cool.

>How much do your friends mean to you?

A lot. I had a lot of rough times in HS they helped me through. I still see some of them sometimes and talk to a lot of them a lot. So that's been nice.

>Do you think you'll still pursue this guy, or can you get over him and wait for someone else some other time?

I'm definitely still in the midst of something with this guy. So moving on is something that won't be happening for at least another 2 months, but that's only if worst case scenario happens. To be fair, my college is only about 30 minutes from home. So it won't be like we'll be too far apart when I leave in the fall. To be fair, I'd rather date someone meaningful back home then just bang a bunch of guys I know little about at uni.

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I'm 22

My life is in a weird state right now. I finished my university degree and decided to take a year off to focus on making music. The thing is, the music project I started and devoted my year to has actually gotten much bigger than I ever thought it would be (which is not to say that it is big, simply put I didn´t really think people would it enjoy as much as they do).

On a personal level, this was the most intense year I ever had, with so many new people coming into my life, and other people that had stuck with me through a very long time exiting.

>What do you care about the most?
Really understand what I want to do and stop wasting time, before I turn 30 without even noticing it
>Biggest regret?
Not understanding the difference between love, lust and friendship
>What do you aspire to be?
Happy, I guess
>Impossible wish?
Be able to go back in time

>>17390138
>That one friend cares for you a great deal. Hang out with him, LET him love you. See if he has anyone he can introduce to you. Lean on your family as well, request help whenever you're feeling down.
Will do

Uni student with good grades for first (and easiest) year, wasting my summer holiday right now, no plans for the future
I don't know what I care about
I don't have aspirations
>Biggest regret?
Spending too much time online
>Impossible wish?
Going back and convincing myself to avoid spending time talking to cancerous people online
>pasts
Spending a lot of time in cancerous communities online

>>17389856
>Lives looking like
Right now I'm in the process of saying goodbye to all of my high school buddies, my immediate family, and everything to start completely anew at my Uni this fall. It's bittersweet.

>What do you care about most?
That I'm working hard to achieve independence, but that I don't hurt anyone close to me on the way there. I want to spend the most time I can with my close buds, date around a little longer before I leave, and just find ways to enjoy myself and maximize the time that I have. My major, academics, and college social life etc. can wait for when I arrive.

>What do you aspire to be?
I love film direction and the visual arts, but I'm probably going to end up being a scientist. I'm pretty good at both, and both make me happy more or less, but one has a better job market. Who knows what the future holds though.

>Biggest regret
I don't really have any, all of the lessons I've learned so far have been from the actions I've taken, good or bad. Everything has come together to form who I am today, ups and downs.

>Impossible wish
To either be completely independent of other people or to get the friendships/relationships that I want. You need to balance back and forth between solitude and extroversion to be happy, I just wish that there never was a trade-off during the back and forth periods or I could stay comfortably in one.

>My pasts
I'm a crazy smart guy who's had a tough time relating to others until Junior year of high school when I started focusing on self improvement. Senior year I got a hot, loving gf who dumped me recently because we are going to different colleges, and just I recently mostly got over that. It was a tough month and a half immediately after though, one that taught me a lot about myself. I've had amazing friends, although not any during my entire period of development that were consistently there for me. People come and go all the time. Either way, I'd say that right now, my friends are pretty fucking great.

I want a fat gf