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Anonymous
Trying to restart my life, I think I have potential. 2016-07-25 03:50:40 Post No. 17389625
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Trying to restart my life, I think I have potential. 2016-07-25 03:50:40 Post No. 17389625
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Trying to restart my life, I think I have potential.
Anonymous
2016-07-25 03:50:40
Post No. 17389625
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TL;DR: I'm 22, mentally ill, college dropout, have since gotten healthy, hit rock bottom, but I have some resources and parental support, where do I go from here?
Post 1/2
My story's a little complicated. Since about 2007 or so (age 13) up until a few months ago, I had some pretty bad mental health problems. Diagnosed with depression, generalized anxiety, and a rare neurological condition called organic hypersomnia. I graduated high school in 2011, with poor grades but 99th percentile SAT scores that got me a full ride to a big-time school. I left school in 2013 after having a mental breakdown, attempting suicide, and spending weeks in several mental hospitals. I've been trying to get healthy since then and get my life back together so that I might be able to attend school again by fall 2017, if I apply by next winter/spring's application cycle, but it probably might not even be that early because I haven't done much since I left school and would like to build up a bit of a resume before I return.
Right now I live with my mother, who my past therapists have called abusive, though for a few months or so she's expressed her desire to help me get back into school. I work in a restaurant and make about $250/wk busing tables. I don't currently see any physicians/therapists or take any medication, and haven't for several months. I have about $1500 saved up and plan on spending about $1000 soon on fixing my car, a new computer, desk, books, and other things I consider essential, along with workout equipment to get back into shape (in college I was about 195 lbs and was invited to a walk-on tryout at my school's D1 football program, now I've dropped down to <160 lbs).
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Post 2/2:
Right now my priorities are:
1. Securing my mental health and preventing any relapses back into where I couldn't work nor attend school. I no longer have things like panic attacks, hallucinations, sleeping for 20+, lack of appetite, however, I still ruminate on thoughts for hours and feel very awkward, nervous, isolated, and detatched in social situations and would like to communicate with people better.
2. Securing my job and hopefully finding a better one that pays more. I make minumum at a restaurant, where I used to make 10.50 Wal-Mart, before I quit because I couldn't stand my co-workers.
3. Begin participating in and enjoying hobbies I used to do. As I mentioned, I played football, along with tennis, and I grew up playing video games and reading and writing. I'm a published essayist and was state-ranked in both those sports in high school, but I have not done any of these things in years and lack most of the resources to do so. This is also why I'm looking to get a new computer (gaming, movies, music), and workout equipment. These things could also help me get back into college, I think, especially the writing.
4. Studying and self-learning. I have outlines of topics I want to study to refresh my high school and college studies and build on them.
5. Cleaning and redoing my living space, i.e., I need a new mattress, computer (what I'm typing on now can't play most youtube videos), some basic furniture, and I need to fix old holes in my drywall and clean carpet stains.
Do these things even sound achievable? And how can I best work my way back to achieving them with my current circumstances? I can provide more info if asked.
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