Do any other anons suffer from thoughts of conspiracy? I have

>>17386773
Are you taking antipsychotics?

>>17386773
Yes, Abilify injection and Seroquel, but they don't seem to be helping. With every day that passes, my delusions manifest, and I get the sensation that others are closing in upon me.

This definitely sounds like paranoia. You should see a psychologist, or better yet a psychiatrist. I'm not sure if weed can actually cause it permanently, but THC is present in it and it I know THC can cause anxiety and delusions, as well as some other stuff.

Do you have any family history of paranoia that you know of?

I know it's hard to logic your way through this, but you obviously can see that this is having a negative effect where it was not present before. You should get help for it. You don't have to live like that, in constant fear. The real world is not like that.

>>17386790
You might need an increased dosage. It definitely sounds like you're experiencing some psychosis. I'd call or get into a doctor ASAP and let them know.

Actually, people seem to have backed off a bit in recent months, but I think a while back, I had some sort of computer vulnerability that allowed people to see what I was browsing and doing online, and they seemed to be posting stuff in relation to that. Also, a couple years ago I was trying to promote a band and I reached out to a few high-profile musicians and posted in some global music industry forums. Following this, I began to be convinced that some of these artists were composing songs about me (in some cases flattering, in others menacing). Still don't know what to make of it.

>>17386794
I had a grandfather who was supposedly schizophrenic and a history of anxiety in my family. I didn't think like this before though. I also have a history of alcoholism and MDMA use, if that plays a role. I am seeing a psychiatrist and case worker who talk me out of my delusions, to an extent, but I worry that people in my profession know about my mental illness and addictions issues, and aren't hiring me because of this, which adds to my stress because I have been busting my ass trying to find a new job for over two years, and so much of my self-worth is invested in my career success, or lack thereof.

>>17386805
This is just my opinion, but you might want to call your pdoc when you can. Again, just an opinion, but they could help you get back to feeling normal. Hope you feel better soon anon.

>>17386812
Will do, I think I have an appointment soon. The problem is that some of my delusions are at least partially-grounded in reality. I know I've said and done a lot of crazy shit, and I constantly worry that people hate me for it. In some instances, they probably do. But I magnify and exaggerate things in my mind to the point where I feel like everyone's against me.
Thanks though

>>17386773
Sure, make your senses dull with drugs for some "disease" that you have.

>hacked

You dun goofed, prepare for a lot of life-changing events.

>>17386773
Why go back to sleep when you're already awake?

>>17386773
This is mild. After staying awake for 2 weeks (without single stimulant, expect occasional coffee) I ended up in a looney bin for 30 days, good thing I got some sleep there.

Basically I thought the Freemasons, KGB, CIA were all to get me. License plate that had letters like CIA were instant agents for me. I was speeding up in various hihgways and driving aimlessly to lose these agents. Then I stole bunch of garden gnomes from some guy's yard and I thought I was invisible and they wanted to know my secret.

That's all folks.

>>17387573
What's strange is that people who are acquainted with you know what you "know".

>>17386773
>I know I have psychosis or schizophrenia and that my delusions are irrational
>I know I have psychosis or schizophrenia and that my delusions are irrational
>I know I have psychosis or schizophrenia and that my delusions are irrational
c'mon now you just told yourself

>>17387585
and you damn well know it.

you're just crazy. none of that is happening and your drug use is not the cause.

>>17386773

For five years or so, starting in high school and continuing into uni, I lived under the delusion that my life was like the Truman Show, that all the events of my life were orchestrated by an unseen group of writers, and that everyone I encountered was an actor.

I maintained a good GPA, had friends, had a part time job, dated and had gfs, all while thinking that none of it was real. I still went to the doctor when I didn't feel well, because I still thought that these people acting as doctors would perform the task of doctoring, and this was how I came start taking something intended to treat bipolar disorder (I think it was Lamictal) but which instead dramatically increased my capacity to see reality from delusion.

I still had delusional thoughts, but it was suddenly easy for me to see them as delusional. After several years of taking it an other similar medication, I wanted to see if my trust and grip on reality was strong enough to stop the medication, and after informing my family and doctor, I stopped taking anything and watched closely to see if the delusional thoughts became too difficult to manage. I saw no change, and decided to stay off the medication.

I now rarely have delusional thoughts, and I'm mindful of them and don't allow myself to entertain them. I have come to understand that my delusions stem from a vague sense of powerlessness and insecurity, so when I notice I'm having one, I stop and acknowledge the delusional thought, recognize that I'm having it, but then remind myself that my life is interesting enough just as it really is, and that I am a more important person if I'm really the one running my life, not if I'm a kind of victim. That is usually enough to make the delusion pass.

I recommend you see a doctor and tell them whatever you are able to. I know it can be a struggle even to confide in a doctor, but they really do want to help you, and the degree to which they are able to help is really staggering.