Self-Hate

>>17386750
iktf
explore therapy techniques online if you cant afford to go irl
you probably need to change your thought process. its hard. its basically "fake it til you make it."
tell yourslf youre worthy, nice, decent, whatever you need to hear. try to do it every day. even if you have the bad thoughts, try to plug in some good ones too.
shit like that

>>17386750
cognitive behavioral therapy

Therapy

cbt and mindfulness meditation has improved my depression and anxiety a lot.

are you ugly

>>17386767
look up "cant fix ugly elliot hulse" on youtube

If I may ask OP, what do you think causes your self hatred? Did anything you did/experienced in your past influence this at all? Is there anything that you keep coming back to as the main reason for thinking so lowly of yourself?

>>17386767
I wouldn't say so but I am pretty overweight. I lost about 30 pounds from where I was but I still don't look slim or anything. I'd like to lose more weight but I've just felt so unmotivated lately. I just don't see the point even though I know that's exactly what my brain wants. It just seems like no matter what I do I can't overcome my fundamental problem of just being a lazy shit who's too much of a pussy to get a job or a gf, which are really the three issues at the root of my scenario.

>>17386765
>>17386764
same thing with CBT and mindfulness. I did it for a couple of months last year but they never really helped me overcome my self-loathing they just helped me forget about it for a while, same as working out.

>>17386777
I've had a really awful relationship with my mother ever since I was about 13 that just got shittier and shittier where now we basically don't even talk to each other. I also was the fat kid and attention whore/class clown type in middle school and high school, and even though I was pretty popular I only had a few real friends, and even fewer now.

IDK I've had these thoughts ever since I was about 12 or 13, and I distinctly remember the first time seriously considering suicide being when I was about 13 in 7th grade. I've also had a lot of really cringey or tragic experiences trying to date or ask out girls that always made me feel even more insecure and my penis is only 3 inches long, which gives me a lot of grief.

>>17386793
I think that if you honestly can't go to therapy, you need to find a way to slowly come to terms with the fact that all of your experiences and vices are ultimately what makes you, well, you- and accept what makes you who you are. Find someone you can just talk to, take up weight lifting again- it may not completely kill the feeling, but it will dull it while you search for ways to see yourself in a meaningful way.

You're a human being, OP. Please don't forget that. You experience pain, hate, sadness, yes- but you also get to experience love, happiness, and excitement. It really is like nothing else, to be a person. Don't lose sight of that.

>>17386759
this. you might be able to do it without therapy, but at the very least you need another person to help you recalibrate your self-image so to speak. so if not a therapist, then a friend, a trusted relative, a minister or spiritual advisor. trying to fix a poor self-image entirely by yourself is like trying to scan your computer for viruses when your antivirus program is faulty.

that being said, the real work of improving your self-image will fall to you, not to anybody else. you need their input, and the more input the better, but you have to put that input to use. listen when people say positive things about you, and try to see yourself from their perspective. try to talk to yourself the way they talk to you.

another very important thing you have to do is to improve yourself by whatever standards are important to you. this can be hard because it can be hard to separate what you want for yourself vs. what you think other people expect you to want. so start doing some thinking about that. if you have trouble coming up with anything, think about people you admire and what you like about them. or think about who you wanted to be (not what you wanted to be career-wise) when you were a kid. then just set some small goals to get you a few steps closer to who you want to be. the more you do this, the more reasons you will have to like yourself. then you don't have to feel like you're trying to brainwash yourself into having self-esteem because you'll have actual accomplishments to point to.

I struggle with this a lot too OP, and I'm still far from having a consistently good self-image. but I am much much closer than I used to be, and it's because I do the things I mentioned above. hope this helps you.

>>17386750

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yKkazr8M-n4