4:50AM
I feel bad every day. I started university about half a year ago and I felt so lonely and depressed every single day. It's like I was a ghost to everyone, and I couldn't talk to anyone.
I know it's my fault for not trying to initiate anything, but I just felt genuinely bad. My parents pushed me into studying and I don't even know if I like the subject or ready to study.
I'm only 19 years old, not many friends, virgin and no past girlfriends. As you can tell i just feel so unsatisfied with life right now.
All I have is a group of friends that I talk with from time to time, but even there I feel bored. It's like I'm lost and can't return, I don't even know what interests myself.
I live with a constant feeling of a cloud that's blocking my mind, making me think unclear and slow, and a general foggy feeling that just sticks with me.
I'm going soon to a psychiatrist and I hope maybe I can get something that will elevate me a bit. But I know the real change should be to my lifestyle, but I'm just so uninterested in going out with friends, I don't even know what I'm wishing for in life.
Please help me get back on track, I will read messages tomorrow and try to get some sleep now. Thanks for reading, I really appreciate that.
>>17386351
>I will read messages tomorrow and try to get some sleep now
That's not how threads work. Don't make a thread and abandon it, no one's going to bother posting (not that your mundane problem will attract many posters to begin with)
>>17386391
I see. I'll try that again tomorrow when i'm active
The fog and unclear thinking sounds like depression. Good nutrition, engaging activities, and intense exercise can counter this.
I can think of times that my adrenaline got going, like when I flipped my bike, and the cloud just lifted. The pain wasn't pleasant, but the jolt to my brain was uplifting. Things that I had been very unsure and confused about became very clear, including emotions.
I think intense cardiovascular exercise can give you adrenaline rushes. Rollercoasters and sex can also do it. I wouldn't recommend coke or anything.
About where you are socially, I want you to understand that it's very normal. It is difficult, sure! Most people probably deal with these things one or two at a time, but there are times in our lives when the problems just pile up. You mentioned a lack of success with women, being pushed into studying, and a total hesitance to socialize due to pessimism and/or low self-esteem. These are normal but very difficult things, and they can get people down.
However, none of these things last forever. They all pass eventually. You can get into a support group, group therapy, or talk therapy for depression.
>Am I too far gone?
No. Too far gone is 50 with severe bipolar in a year long unsuccessfully treated episode with total hopelessness and a closed mind. People have come back from that as well with proper treatment. You're a 19 year old kid in a depressive episode. Seeking treatment is a good idea, because a depressive episode is said to last from three months to...forever. (The average is like three to nine months.) The quality of your treatment and connection to your therapist (if you want one) is going to matter a lot!
Small note, worrying about being a virgin is not going to solve it. Guess what happened before women started liking me? They started saying (because they were 16 and virginity was a topic), "You don't seem like a virgin!" They weren't saying I was particularly attractive, but that I had confidence speaking to them.
>>17386420
also
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EsKocqfHL7I
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k8z8fm0cYkE
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MlthVn0jeoI
borrowing the thread for some feels dump
Was at a party today.
I noticed a girl looking at me across the room. She was looking straight at for like 10 seconds and I looked back while talking to someone. Then she did this eyebrows thing and I was like "is she flirting with me?" then my friend turned around and asked me to wave and I realized she was just looking at me becuase he was talking about me
And on the bus omw home I got loneliness feels, something I havent gotten for almost 2 months
>>17386444
you gotta work on those underlying feelings and solve your problems man. don't just walk around unhappy or ignoring the feeling of defeat.
>>17386462
I'm not really walking around unhappy to be honest
Thing is, sometimes the feelings sprout up revolving around me being 27 years old and never had a real relationship. I've had a handful of brief sexual encounter that were usually really good, but never lasting mostly for external reasons.
>>17386471
something made you want to mention it
but yeah don't go for it
not my loss
Ur a faggot
>>17386351
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yKkazr8M-n4