Break up

What the fuck is that wall of text

Cont...
Well, this last time, when I broke it off was the worst and I believe the last. I told him I didn't feel the same way about him anymore. That's what started it, he went on and on about how he wanted us to be together and how much he loved me. He pulled out every card he had, all that we've been through together, the first time he told me he loved me, our first date and kiss and dance. His last card was that he was saving money for a ring that he'd picked out. I was solid and still said no as much as it hurt to tell him. I cried the entire conversation, I knew what was going to happen. As soon as i apologized for all that he had gone though and said that I no longer wanted to be together, his tune changed. he asked me if i broke it off and knew what the consequences would be. I said yes. and he said I never want to hear from you again, don't text, don't call, email, and he never wants to see me again. I know he's hurt and I know he's right. But right now, I'm feeling like I can't live with out him, I'm going out of my mind. I know I'm confusing but I love him so much and I just want to be with him but I know I can't now and I'm having a hard time dealing with this. I have no friends, I work at a drug store, and I live in the middle of bfe. I feel so alone right now and I'm struggling to keep my composure. I wish we could be together but I want to have a future and a career as well.

I'm sorry, I know it's all over the place.

Please /adv/ I'm desperate. I know we aren't getting back together, but I need to know how i move on from this. I don't know what to do. I'm really upset

>>17386022
Give it time, and by that, give yourself some time. Holy shit, the meandering nature of your post says this must be really recent.

Take a vacation and you'll realize you're fine as you are. Usually men hold on to their feelings longer.

>>17386036
Like two days ago

A vacation would be nice, but I do start to fester on things when I'm alone or no distracted (i.e. now)

>>17385979

You told him you didnt feel the same about him anymore but then you go on to say that you love him so much and how you wish you could be together? I don't completely understand, is the issues your brought up really something that could not be worked through at all? Could you have given him an ultimatum type situation where you tell him you love him but there are things that need to change if you are to be completely happy?

You sound like you're somewhat regretting your decision, but if you know its definitely for the best as he was unable to make an effort in fixing the problems you listed then just know its for the best and let that be your consolation.

>>17385950

I'd also like to add that break ups especially of long term relationships like your should always be thought out very long and hard, you dont want to throw everything away for a anxiety that suddenly arises about your future, i'm hoping you weighed out all the options and talked with him prior to the break up about all of your feelings and anxiety and fears about your relationship and your future and didnt just spring a break up on him telling him you dont love him anymore.

See that's the thing, we've tried to fix it, I've given him ultimatums before and he just gets angry and says "how dare you". I've tried to work things out with him for the past year, and nothing has changed. There have been time when I've told him about my fears and he shrugged them off or changed the topic.

>>17386106

Okay well if you have clearly stated that the things you are talking about are an issue for you and he shrugs it off then he doesnt care enough about your feelings to make things work, he sounds selfish and childish, and this was probably a good wake up call for him to get his shit together emotionally, try to be happy that you benefited both of your lives from this break up, he will hopefully learn from your relationship and become a better person and you can eventually find someone that is willing to compromise their faults and make you feel happy a majority of the time.

>>17386049
To the bar/club/bookstore/beach/park with you.

Interact with other people and you'll understand that you don't need to dwell on one other person.

Just to add, am I being selfish, or am I wrong? I'm really asking for an honest answer. If i'm the problem I would like to work on myself as well.

Also thank you for responding, talking about it helps

>>17386130

You're not being selfish, these are things that you want out of a relationship that he could not compromise with you about after you talked to him about it, these arent petty details either, seeing your mum/friends is important and if he has trouble understanding that its a big issue.

You havent let on about any of your shortcomings in the relationship so its hard to say where you could work on yourself, i would say now that you are single you can try re-kindle with the friends that you lost and if there was any traits of your personality that came out during the relationship that you didnt like you can work on removing them.

Just remember its not selfish to not want to stay with someone that doesnt make you happy and causes undue stress in your life.

>>17386148
Thank you so much. I'm going to save this and look back on it when I start feeling stressed or anxious. Thank you for helping me.