motivation to become a better me

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This one girl makes me want to be the best of myself and I always make great steps towards my personal goals up to weeks after a date with her. Spending time with her makes me think of my dreams and regrets like nothing else, and this is good.

But I'm not a keeper to her, she made it clear, we rarely meet and don't talk in between. This destroys me every time we split, to a worrying degree.

I want that motivation that tells me to do what I don't usually date to, but without the depression that comes with a meeting with this devil. Where do you get it from ?

How do I not get infatuated in this girl that is for now way beyond my league, that I admire as a person more than as a woman, and that unexpectedly liked me on our first dates ?