Relationship Red Flags

Alcoholics/druggies are some of the most irresponsible and unreliable people out there. I used to be one. Your red flags are justified. Get out now before you get seriously hurt.

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These are all justified reactions.

I dated this chick when I was younger, and here is how it went:

She would do her drugs behind my back, and would drink alcohol on days she could, A) not afford said drugs, or B) not find someone to sell her said drugs.

That is literally the only time she ever drank. Oh, if one anecdote is not enough: I've had 2 parents, and 2 other friends who were the same exact way.

Alcohol is cheap, drugs aren't. You can always get alcohol, you can't always get drugs.

If someone is defensive over recreational use, it is not stigma, as they have clearly bypassed that fucking hurdle by doing drugs with friends (in your case, anyways). Now it's more about her addiction being discovered.

I am speaking with 100% certainty, that your girl is having some addiction issues. With that said, I've based that on my own personal experience with drug abusers.

My ex started with weed, moved on to pills (I do not buy that weed is a gateway drug, however) and graduated to coke. Coke became expensive, and heroin was cheaper. Her addiction grew and heroin was no longer cheap, but meth was. Read: wrecking ball.

I would give her an ultimatum, get help or get the fuck out. My ex drained my entire savings and I have no idea until I went to pay rent. Don't wait until she destroys your life in her process, anon.

>>17381731
>I would give her an ultimatum, get help or get the fuck out.
There's no compromise in regards to that stuff - she says me asking her to slow down is me trying to control/change her

>>17381768
Then she has to go, anon. Only a few walk away from this path without leaving a wake of destruction behind them, only a few.

You tell her straight up, you asking her to slow down is because you care and she regards that as control, she needs to move out. If you're close with any of her family, let them in on this and tell them: "Hey, she is on this shit and it's getting worse. I've found coke paraphernalia lying around, and she refuses to discuss it. I love her and all, but you all need to come together as a family and help me convince her to get help, or you need to come get her and her things. We have to do this together and I simply refuse to do this alone."

Probably a good idea to leave.

You might want to consider why you jump into relationships so quickly. If you knew her for any length of time before getting your dick wet you would know these things ahead of time.

You're either looking for a project or attention. Not sure which. Either way you may want to take a good hard look at this before you move on.

>>17382435
>If you knew her for any length of time before getting your dick wet you would know these things ahead of time.

That's what dating is anon, getting to know someone.

>>17382435
not OP but I'm not sure what you're getting at. I didn't read where it said OP jumped into a relationship with her. it just says he's dated her for two months, doesn't say how long he knew her before that.

and even if he was: 3/4 of the people on this board are constantly shrieking about how you're not supposed to wait too long to start dating someone because you'll get put in the dreaded friendzone. so if OP has spent more than ten minutes on /adv/ then he has probably heard the "move fast or you'll get friendzoned" thing umpteen million times. maybe he's just doing that.

>>17381707
Doesn't matter if you gave her an ultimatum or expressed that youre worried. She wont change until she realizes she has a problem and decides to change it herself.

If she doesn't want to change then she may or may not give a shit that youre leaving her. If she cries and says she'll change, she's lying. Take anything she says with a grain of salt.

I know because I smoked weed for almost 3 years straight then moved on to pills. Been on pills for 7 yrs now. When I can't get pills, I take a shit ton of aspirin and I drink. If my bf tried to control me or gave me an ultimatum then Id most likely choose pills.

>>17382497
Do you feel you have no choice but to do drugs, or do you just love getting fucked up more than your boyfriend?

Pretty curious about the thought process of choosing substances over people

>>17382497
> If my bf tried to control me
>Women actually think this way

>asking them to do something is deemed controlling

All too often do women confuse selfishness with independence and wonder why they end up alone

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>>17382467
>>17382448
>>17382435
>OP here

Had I known she was doing this kind of stuff I wouldn't have started dating her, but every time it was brought up she made excuses and gave reasons why we shouldn't talk about it - it wasn't until we fought for a week that I realized how much she refused to talk about it and how defensive she got over it

2 Months is the total time we've known each other, and we've been dating the whole time

Dating is how people get to know each other and how people figure out whether or not they're compatible in a relationship

>Still looking for others' perspective, thanks for the replies

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>>17381707

> doing drugs
Ok in my book

> being addicted
> lying about taking or not taking drugs
Yea dealbreaker, wouldn't even try to make it work