I just wrote my will

You suffer the way you do, and there is apparently no way to help you live a normal life... so I want to ask, why does death scare you?

You seem to be unhappy with how things are, but the problem is that it just is the way it is. It's extremely unfortunate that you were given these circumstances, but is death really something to fear? I apologize, I am just trying to understand.

If you are not actually dying, know that there are alternate treatment options. Western medicine doesn't always work, but then again, all medicine is a hit or miss.

I can understand that you want meaning in life. Then talk to me, what do you want the most out of life or existence?

>>17380602
sounds like your problems are contributing to your heart rate, if you wake up sick then maybe your room is pretty dirty. have u tried disability assistance? you can use that and look for a job in the mean time. try cleaning up your room and eating healthier, that will help your reproductive system, as well as keeping it clean down there. pretty sure everyone has depression and adhd no need to feel special here.

Also,
>I have so many regrets
What are your regrets? Is it because there were things you couldn't do? You said you wanted to have a child, but you body simply cannot provide that for you. It's not something you can control if you body just can't work that way.

If you want to take care of your brother, you have to finish that will. It's okay to be emotional. You've had a hard life. It's okay to be scared/sad/angry, if everything has been out of your hands. But to die peacefully, you have to accept that death is a constant. No one is exempt from it. People see death all the time, but pay no mind. Animals, plants die everywhere around us, it is the nature of this world. Eventually everything grows old or decays. Yet, people accept and praise life while ignoring death because they do not want to think about it. To understand death, you have to realize that life and death are two sides of the same coin. You can cherish one and hate the other, but without death how could this world function? It is the natural order of things.

If you can say at the end of your life that you tried the best you could with your given circumstances, what is there to be ashamed of? No one is perfect, and that's okay.

Right now, people are dying from illness, aging, suicide, accidents, etc. You can be afraid, but death will eventually take all of us.

I wish the best for you, and hope you can find meaning behind your existence before you pass, as I hope we all do.

The concept of things being undone is wrong.

All life is transient. Nothing lasts because change is constant. The idea of purpose is a silly thing humans cling to, but why? The idea of purpose implies we are somehow important. We aren't. Importance is a human construct and it is vanity.

Have a look at Buddhist philosophy (philosophy is not religion) and it may give you some perspective. There is a saying the philosophy is learning to die well. Even when all is taken from you, you can still do that.

My health is shit and I'm not far behind you. It will be a relief. I've attended the dying so I fear it little. Life is pain. Death is not more than going back to what we were before what we are manifested as human.

>>17380602

I want to hug you

Had a friend like you. Same deal more or less.
Every thing was fine until I fell in love with her, which we agreed never to go beyond friends.

Damn shame. I knew the cost of falling for her, and yet she pushed me away and left alone.

Fight until you can't fight anymore. If dying is truly the only end to this all, do not fear it. Muster your strength and finish what must be done. Have courage, simply that. Courage.

I need a beer. Godspeed anon.