Being Late to the Party

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I just became 20.
It is only around this point that I'm starting to get a grasp for freedom.
I grew up in a sheltered environment, yet I also was in a broken family.

After so many different circumstances and changes and bad things, I set myself up to be stable and focused on securing a future. I'm in the process of doing it now, and I feel like I can get several things done.

But after so many years of deprogramming myself, now I see what I can control clearly.

My parents (individually) provided so much for me in terms of physical human needs (down to paying for my tuition - somehow I feel embarrassed admitting that), but in return I spent the last nearly 2 decades under their eye and key.

A small but important example: Relationships. Being in a specialized school, I didn't really have much "choice" in finding a girlfriend there, but I did find someone in a childhood friend. We had some confessions, and maybe we did develop into some sort of relationship, but it all ended poorly and quickly. Being hurt, I locked away all matters of the heart for years. Only now do I feel like looking for such a companion again, but I lack so much experience.

I want to make my way in the world, but I feel so new to it! I was trained to live this life of "purity" and "behavior." I've developed so much focus that I didn't pay attention to my youth.
And everyday I see that as I go to my research lab in a pretty empty campus while my contemporaries live their lives to the fullest.

"It's all so silly! You have everything you could need! You are saddled with greed and complain about the stupidest shit! Look at this guy, he lost everything!"
I'd understand if you see it that way. But I have a long story (read: a long excuse), and the short of it is I need to make up for lost time. Please allow me to be selfish here. Any advice?