Depression/Mental Illness Thread

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>>17379043
>you're worth it
Who do you think you're kidding?

>>17379043
>>>/lbgt/

>>17379043
I'm 25 and starting to realise i have squandered my younger potential. If i had been less self conscious i could have been something, in a band or something.

I'm 25 and tied down now to a full time job and a life of repetition and i dont think im ever gonna be anything at all. I literally cannot be think back to being a teenager without getting stressed.

>>17379046
I turn 25 in a month.

Fuck.

>>17379046
You have another 5 years to be picking up girls at clubs and fucking around. 30 is the settle down age.

>>17379048
Exactly and before i know it I'll be 30.

I'm just bummed I'll never span the globe in band i guess

>>17379043
Nothing to do with fashion.

>>17379049
seriously, im 25 and feel like i was 20 just last month... shit went by sooo quick i wouldnt be surprised if hit 30 next month

>>17379046
you know how many people would love to be 25 again?

>>17379050
it's /fa/ lifestyle

>>17379049
you could if you wanted to? many have started way later bro. with that attitude youll never be shit though...

>>17379047
I turn 24 in Sep and I

>still live with parents
>still a virgin
>still unemployed

Give me a good reason not to kill myself.

>>17379055
>2/3
Well, I lost my virginity at 24 so you have something to look forward to.

>>17379055
its pretty normal for a 24 yr old to still be living at their parents these days. Most of my friends that are 23/24 still are

>Want nothing more than to end the pain
>Killing myself means killing my mom
>Causes more pain
Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck...

ITT: a bunch of self loathing pessimists who dont have any real problems other than going on 4chan too much.

>>17379051
The passage of time actually depresses me. I think its called chronophobia or something but when i think at the years gone by and how ive done nothing im too proud of, it bums me out.

>>17379054
Its not even just me. I need other people with similar interests and as i hard as i try i dont seem to find any. I keep searching but I'm starting to lose hope, man.

So tired, no interest in anything, stink like shit because i have no energy to shower
On antidepressants and scared I'll be on them for the rest of my life

Where is the happiness bros


Fucking losers who think depression is /fa/ have never been through depression, underage faggots

i should be writing an abstract right now

>>17379059
Well yeah, of course these aren't 'real problems', but at a certain point the pessimism and inability to get anything done becomes a real problem in itself, and the lack of any explanation for it makes the self-loathing worse. It's a mental trap.

This has nothing to do with fashion, where are the mods?

>>17379059
Try google "clinical depression"

>>17379065
I know what depression is, "Being 25" isnt what real depression is

>>17379066
What do you think real depression is?

>>17379067
not being able to be happy or feel anything regardless of where youre at in life

depression is the medicalization of having a negative existential realization. nobody who truly knows anything about life does not struggle with it. this is not meant to romanticize or make intellectual the struggles of depression. idealism, absurdity, and beastly compounding circumstances doom us all to a depressive living.

>>17379063
Yep, and threads like this don't help. It's basically a bunch of sadbrains feeding each others' woe-is-me bullshit, thereby making the problem worse.

That's why I can't help but to swing into these threads and bitch at people occasionally - circle-jerking over how hard life is doesn't do anything but make it harder.

i think i don't know how to make friends anymore
it's amazing how i crave friendship and closeness so much yet i cannot let anyone into my personal space because i am nervous and don't want them to hurt me as well as i don't want to hurt them by abrupt friendship stop (i did it sometimes when i felt something was wrong, no words nothing, now i feel guilty for it)
it will soon be 2 years since i had actual friends
2 fucking years

>>17379064
theres not even a wdywt thread
this board has been dead for a while

today i had one of those "it's all pointless" realisation which usually marks the beginning of my frequent spirals into depression

i'm good looking someone teach me how to be less socially anxious and confident before it's too late
i'm dying inside

>>17379070
Sometimes its easier to profess it anonymously online then tell your friends and family how you feel.

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Clinically depressed
Im outgoing, im awkward and say stupid things but i dont give a stain. People either love me or hate me.
Also have bipolar disorder, hear voices, etc. Weed and liq only help sometimes.

>>17379046
Same here
I'm 30 and every night I wish I would wake up and be back in my home 15 years ago so I could make something of myself

>>17379043
great fashion thread m8

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>get called cute
>get butthurt
JUST

>>17379046
There are no limits you can literally go anywhere you have at least 50 years ahead of you.

>>17379056
are you ugly or just really picky with girls ?

>>17379058
Just start doing drugs instead.
>>17379059
This
>>17379074
I struggle with this too. You have to realize "social anxiety" isn't real. People believe what you tell them, so pretend to be a confident chad and people will assume you are. Just be natural, don't overthink anything. And if people don't like who you really are then that's their problem, don't make it your problem.

>be me
>sit in the basement until my feet carry myself outside in hope to find a friend
>when outside, get paranoid and anxious, want to go home
>go home, regret that i didn't make any effort to even talk to a stranger
>repeat

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>see ugly couples frequently
>gives me hope
>see below average girls with decent looking guys once in while
>could probably get a bf if i went out more

>>17379084
trust me, if you have a vagina and are even semi remotely attractive you can get a bf

>>17379083
>talk to a stranger
i don't blame you cold approaches are risky.

try going to a concert by yourself thats what ive been doing and normies approach me some times. too bad i can't hold the conversation long enough without intrusive thoughts making me paranoid.

>>17379043
I'm terrified that I'm not good looking enough for the girl I'm interested in and that she's just settling for me at best and doesn't want to tell me how disappointed she is

We have tons in common and I think we compliment each other personality-wise, it's not easy for either of us to open up about anything but we can talk for hours. But I can't shake this feeling. I want to ask her if she finds me attractive at all, but I don't want to look even more insecure and I doubt she'd give me a totally truthful answer anyway.

Will I only know if she actually goes out of her way to pursue me back?

>>17379085
yeah thats what im starting to believe ive done some boarder line autistic things around guys and they barely care

the key is finding someone that doesn't just want sex which is very hard and time wasting actually

>>17379087
>want to ask her if she finds me attractive at all,
please for the love of god do not do that.
>Will I only know if she actually goes out of her way to pursue me back
YES.

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>Only have a few friends
>They seem to enjoy each others company, whereas I am just there for some unknown reason
>Never have anything to say
>Most of my family is dead
>Dad died a year ago
>Sometimes think about just ending it here
>Can't do it because it will ruin my mothers life even more

pic to keep it fashion related

>Extreme depression
>Extreme anxiety
>Tremors whenever I have to interact with people
>Hardly working, maybe one day a week 2 at most
>suicidal
>alcoholic
>body image problems
>never taken my shirt off in public
>never had sex with a girl

I don't have any booze and I'm fucking losing it atm mental torment 24/7 and the booze is all that keeps me sane but because I don't work enough I don't have access to it at all times I am so close to just offing myself, I really wish I had a gun, it would have been done by now.

>>17379081
not that anon, but I'd like to believe I'm just picky

>jus turned 19 and virgo

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all of you guys need to leave the toxic mindsets that you have bc it's only breeding more unhappiness, regret, sorrow, self pity, etc...


all these posts are similar

you guys are dwelling on the past or present while being blindly unaware of the present.

the present moment is literally all you'll ever have, if you can be happy in the present then you can be happy forever

remember that happiness and contentment are found within you.

take a couple hits of acid, figure life out, start meditating afterwards and realize your true potential

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>>17379079
Are you me?
>There's a club in my city, it's kinda famous among ~20yo pretentious somewhat bohemian alcotrash
>Sometimes I go there to get some really cheap booze and find someone to talk with
>Usually it's just common drunk talk about meaning of life or some other philosophical shit
>But sometimes you can have yourself a really great conversation, since the crowd is very diverse
>if you're too lonely, you can easily find another lonely girl to make out with, it's not a big deal there
>Didn't go any further than that because see no need in this
>So, this weekend I maybe got a bit too much to drink
>Accepted this girl's offer to get somewhere less crowdy
>Outside we continued to make out, my dick is diamonds but I'm still getting a bit suspicious about the whole idea
>Got underneath her shirt, massaged her tiddies, sucked on nips, the usual stuff
>By the time I decided to slide my hand underneath her panties she were wet as fuck
>hear this
>'You're one cute kitty, anon'
>CUTE
>KITTY
>wtf cyкaблять
>tried keep it together, but quickly lost any interest in the ordeal and went limp
>fingered her for five minutes and then suggested to go back since I've left my booze there
Still can't grasp what's happened, literally cringing when trying to think about it.

>>17379081
Was extremely socially retarded and didn't begin to heal until I was 22 or so.

>>17379093
This

ITT people thinking their lives are over wth 25

Goddamn there are so many artists who started late, so many artists who turned successfull with over 30 years of age. Your whining and regret about your past decisions is the very own reason while you are still not living the life you want. Everything it takes is determination to do something. Make it your priority, go do some networking and you can at least have another passion another hobby to go after. You probably won't hit it big, but if it fullfills you more, than do it instead of regretting past decisions.

You are probably having 70 years, if not more ahead of you. You are going to live LONG. Stop your victim mentality, learn to think optimistic again, because that's what draws people to you and you work and start doing something.

>>17379061
It worked for me to jump over my shadow. Forcing myself to be spontaneous and do stuff I didn't want or felt not like to do. It helped me to get to learn new people, new things. After a few months of doing that I felt more and more happiness again.

>>17379092
>I'm just picky
then you don't get to complain about being a virgin

>>17379097

Thanks, just what I needed. Picked keyboard, guitar and singing recently.

>>17379934
Really good, keep it tight. Work to make your life the best possible one you can. Potential doesn't disappear.

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>>17379094
Fuck i laughed at that way more than i should have

>>17379097
I don't even know how to start. I've been shitty my whole life. I'm 28, and I have no hobby, career, or social skills. Whatever I try now, I'm going to be two decades behind my peers in practice and fighting an entire lifetime of bad habits and laziness. What's the point in even trying?

You know something- I've had severe depression before and I got out of it, (read: dragged out of it) but despite my experience I'm still not very good at knowing how to ease the struggles of others facing it.

All I can say is, a good distraction, irresponsible it may be, has helped me and a lot of people I know who suffered from it. Could be as benign as drawing. Could be as bad as heroin. Could be hookers. One of my outpatient mates decided to ride rollercoasters a lot because it felt like jumping off a building without committing. He became an adrenaline junkie and is still around.

I don't even know why I should post here, but whatever it fits.

I've struggled with depression that comes and goes since I was 12, all I know is that it fucking sucks and I have no idea where it stems from.

I have had family issues my entire life, namely just my parents having trust issues with each other and constantly fighting but that isn't any reason for me to be annoyed or depressed with them.

I don't want to say I'm picky when it comes to who I want to be with but I just can't do much unless I feel a click there, and that rarely happens.

I also have major dependency, abandonment and attachment issues when it comes to my relationships, I've talked to 3 girls seriously in my entire life and I'm 19. I've only dated one, and a recent girl I've been talking to ended up just leading me on and doing stuff with other girls and it utterly crushed me because I had so many strong feelings for her.

I'm not the kind that has to be in a relationship but I enjoy it when it does happen and if I fee something I get too attached to her emotionally and it always fucks me up. I need to stop worrying about it and focus more on myself though.

I genuinely hate myself and I don't know what I dislike or what to change or how to do it. I'm a really bad emotional mess and I've tried talking to people about it and even my best friend said I just need a therapist but I don't know if I can actually force myself to go see one. I know I'm young but I honestly worry so much over these issues and my life and about the direction it's going in.

>>17380606
>Other girls
Other guys*


These hoes ain't loyal.

>>17380606
I saw a therapist for a year after my outpatient treatment. You're paying a lot of money to talk to an ear, basically. It's kind of like a scam.

And for me, a person who had nobody and a lot to take off my chest, I bought into it, and I'm glad I did.

Eventually I came in less and less, and when I did I had less and less to talk about. It's the best feeling when you feel like you've grown to a point where you don't need professional help anymore.

If someone out there has the patience of a saint and will listen to you for free, seek them out. Otherwise, consider the therapist for a while.

>>17380623
Everyone that I have tried talking to either doesn't do much about it by saying "Oh I'm sorry about that" or "I don't know what to say". Or they say to see a therapist which I don't want to but it's looking like I should at this point

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Depression developed around 11 after my mom died.

Various ups, downs, twists and turns life has given me; finally ended up on a couple antidepressants and cannabis that seem to help.

However, right now I'm not doing so well.
Just had scolding from my husband about my responsibilities. On one hand, he's right... the other... I'm getting at the end of my rope with him talking me like garbage.

I feel like shit most of the day anyways, and I think I make some progress only for it to be unnoticed or appreciated by him.

>>17380639
Holy shit, people are the same everywhere, aren't they?

Turns out they probably don't know what to do, in the same way if you poured your heart out to a stranger, they wouldn't know what to do.

If your pride isn't in the way, go shallow and pay for that ear. Take some time off too and find a way to be looked after - whether it's you taking care of yourself or even admitting yourself into a facility.

I say it's not worth the shit that could happen if you ignore it.

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>first started getting depressed around 12 when parent divorced
>tried to kill myself when I was 16 but failed
>kept a tally of days where I'm glad I survived vs wish I died
>overwhelmingly wish I died
>23 now
>smoke, drink & work all day everyday
>high functioning alcoholic
>will take any drug I can get my hands on at any time
>sobriety is the enemy
>can't even stand being in the same room as myself if I'm not under the influence
>last time I was sober in public I berated and physiclly treatened a taco bell for forgetting to put fire sauce in my order until they had to call the police
>been able to keep it under wraps for family, friends & coworkers
>everyday just put my unloaded 1911 against my temple and just listen to the hammer clicking against the empty chamber

Is there even any hope for me?

>>17380685

You actually own a gun and you haven't used it on yourself yet... well you know, with bullets.


I don't even trust myself with a gun in the house... just an hour ago I felt like grabbing one of the chef's knifes and plunging it into my chest.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JBbpBhB_Fgo

Just wanted to share this song with you anons, is really helping me rn.

>>17380714
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H6pODq8_FxE

(IMO Better) non-lyric version.

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>>17380703
I guess I should mention the main reason I haven't killed myself yet is because my little sister said she would kill her self if I did. That and the drugs, they just kill me slower than bullets.

>>17380734

Eep. do you want it to change?

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>>17380740
I mean I'm going to fucking die one way or another, why drag it out. I know its been said so much its almost a meme, but I don't really want to kill myself I just want to die. Maybe I could call a hit on myself, the guy I get coke from for sure knows a guy.

>>17380767
Damn.

Fuck, I wish I had to funds for something like that. That, and at least one person I know would suffer. Ugh, gotta stop thinking of ways...

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>>17380772
I'm feeling with you bro
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HeHPwdQ-rXw

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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f3NP_FCKvBc

>>17379043
21. Bipolar. PTSD. ADHD. Traits of Autism.
WP GG.
Currently feeling like shit tonight.
Any positive feelings to share, anons?

>>17380803
Not sure if this is the thread for that bro :(

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>>17380833

I know, right? I was racking my brain to come up with something...

>>17380833
Ah, my bad~

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_FrOQC-zEog

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>>17380842
sorry my dude

>>17379043
How do I find the patience to constantly deal with someone that is depressed. I thought I was handling things pretty nicely, always been good to my gf and never turned her away but more and more I feel as if I'm growing agitated at little things because of how often I deal with it and frankly her depression might be rubbing off on me even though I have no real reason to be depressed. Breakup is not an option here, I love her a lot and I know she loves me and I'm not fed up but this is a bit of an issue. Also note: I've never gotten angry at her or taken frustration out on her, I have talked to her a bit about this but I still feel like it's not enough.

What do you / would you expect out of your SO? Maybe not the right place to ask and maybe I should make my own thread but I figure a thread full of depressed people might help me understand a little better.

>>17381070
Refocus on yourself. You can only love her and support her. Handling the depression is her job, and coaching her on how to do so is a professional's job. If you find yourself obsessing over your inability to help and getting upset for it, you should look into talking to someone about it, too.

I feel as though I am depressed or have something else wrong with me, maybe even autism, although I generally have some awareness of normalcy. I want to go get a diagnosis because then I can go "it's not me, it's the xxx" to myself whenever I feel like I fucked up, so I don't feel like such a failure. But I feel it will seem snowflake-y or it's really embarrassing if I go to the doctor. Can someone help me to decide if I should go or not?

>>17379043

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Qty7IP8wlXM

I went into university excited and ready to go, got good grades for the first year of it and even managed a girlfriend, and everything seemed to be going well, I was on track, then gf broke up with me out of nowhere, and i guess I really fell in deep with that relationship because it fucked me up and everything started going downhill, grades dropped, i've gained weight, don't have the motivation to take part in my hobbies and sleep far more than I should because I feel like I have no energy
I can't fucking stand it, and recently I've had little flickers of suicidal thoughts pop through my head every now and again which is really worrying me, but I haven't talked to anyone about it because I don't want to be a burden on people I care about, what the fuck do I do?

>>17381158
diagnoses are about symptoms (behavior) and treatment, so you can't really point to one as an excuse, desu. having the diagnosis and using it to try to better yourself isn't special snowflakey at all; using it as an excuse is what makes it that

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1/2

I’m 25
>Virgin despite girls reciprocating banter and even playing with my hair
>Wasted athletic ability. I should’ve played soccer in Europe, maybe even tennis
>Wasted young musical talents and time with snake ass Niggas that ditched it for movies. (Still trying though. Buy my mixtape it’s fire… Jk LONG LIVE ROCK AND ROLL BITCHES!!!)
>live with embarrassing family amongst all the cool people in “Hollywood”
>No real friends besides those I text, call and see rarely which are cool, but I wonder how long until they ditch my loser ass
>Missed out on a lot of life.
>Dysthymia is some bullshit and meds suck. Ask me how I know. Go clean your home you big baby
>It’s a conspiracy to keep us fucked in the brain
These are first world problems and we can surrounding ourselves out of this Shit. I figured out that the best thing to do is keep busy by making decisions and being conscious of the fact that today will affect tomorrow. Work out your core, do some cardio. Start with walks (Pokémon Go? You fucking child…) move up to jogs then runs. Work out your core. ;) Develop your ass cheeks so people can say: “Those are nice ass cheeks". Make people regret not fucking you first. Play hard to get, your genitals are treasures don’t give them away (unless that line of work is fulfilling. At that, don’t do that work for long.) Find work that you like to do and fucking do it. Don’t like to think? Work with your hands. Be the solar panel person, be a mechanic. It makes serious money and you have an advantage in the real world. Get creative whether it be through art, or interior design. Apply this creativity to your life problems. Did someone say math? Replace numbers with people and habits and factor in well… variable factors in life… It’s simple, but they don’t teach us this in school; although it should be fucking obvious!

>>17380588
(1)
I want to hug you so bad right now. Please, don't look at your peers, really never look at other people when you are trying to better your situation. Even if you don't have any hobby, carreer there must be things you like to do, other than being on the internet. If not, then I will just throw some assumptions, but for me it helped to get help against my really overboard media consumption. If you state you have to fight with laziness, that could be a big reason for it. If there aren't any hobbies, than look into you, and figure out what thing, that you saw other people do, you admired the most. Do that. Go browse some subreddits, boards here in 4chan to get some entry level knowledge.
You are the one to value your success, not the other people. You have to give yourself value first and show other people how much you do it. Please read the following posts, too.

>>17380588
(2)
You are 28 years old, you have your experience and your moments of success. Focus on them.
Furthermore, you seem to have just forgotten how to solve problems you have to face. For that I really recommend you a behavioural therapy. If that doesn't help you, than do it yourself. Start a diary or something in which you also write your to do lists and your achievements, the positive things that happened that day. Set yourself timer and get whatever you got to do done in this timeframe. Pray if you are religious, meditate for 1 h at 9 pm every day. Or maybe you yourself have some ideas in what you could make an every day thing. Just make it a thing to do something every day, to regain control about your behaviour again.
You are in a Situation, that stresses you probably so much, unnecessarily to point out, but it's nothing that has to stay permanent.
If you are ready for a change, nothing is going to be late for you. Just prepare to invest time into your betterment, search for behavioural therapy and please, contact your anyone you feel the closest to rn. I'm assuming that you have some burned bridges to your parents or your former friends, but you need to get over them. Contact your family, show them your situation and that you are ready for a change. Even if you come from the most toxic environment, there has to be someone, who can at least listen to you.

I don't know you, but you are a sensible being and I value you and your life. Please try to change it, and try to be happy again. Then you can think about a point in life.
You might not value yourself, but I value you. I value the person who posted this post and probably wasn't able to bring across everything what laid on his (her) heart. And I value your life. I don't know anything about you, but I know people who turned their lifes around in a later point of life than you and made a statement, things never done before and they are so happy and fullfilled rn. Best wishes.

>>17381633
ah yeah, apologies for my English. It's not my native language, but hopefully I got my point across.

How can you tell if someone's faking depression? Whenever I scroll through Facebook I tend to see people (mainly girls) write statuses about how depressed they are and the occasional post about their mental illness.

I'm mostly ignorant on mental illnesses since I don't know much and I've never had one but surely if someone has depression they wouldn't publicly state it? Unless they want attention or something?

>>17381652
Depression is hard to see, so it's hard to know if someone is fading. But people posting on Facebook about being depressed? Bullshit, probably. Doing it for affection. I don't want people knowing in depressed. That's my deal. Maybe I'll tell a few close friends but that's it. Not dedicating a post that's essentially saying "I want attention".

Developed depression three years ago, triggered by being dumped, but I think that it brought up problems that have been lying under the surface for a long time. That said, I handled the break-up badly and still haven't managed to move on from the girl, even though I've barely talked to her in the last couple of years. I still get sad from time to time and occasionally have suicidal thoughts (no intention of acting on them though), but the biggest problem for me is the anhedonia. I just don't enjoy things anymore. The things I used to enjoy now seem meaningless, and I constantly berate myself for not being able to enjoy what should be one of the most enjoyable times of my life (early 20s).

I'm actually a psych master's student with an interest in mental health, and I don't think that any of the therapies I've learned about would help me (although, admittedly, I haven't given them a chance). There are some things I've done which have helped me manage it though. I go long-distance running a few times a week as a form of non-destructive 'self-harm', so that I can work through the anger/hate in a productive way. I make sure that I achieve whatever goals I set for myself (e.g. healthy eating, gym, university, career options) so that, if I come out of this the other side, I'll have a good life to come into. I go travelling as often as I can and, from my social media at least, it looks like I have a pretty great life - I haven't told anyone about my depression, and would prefer to keep it that way if possible.

>>17382146
The way you're feeling is not only normal, but common. If you had a serious emotional relationship with this woman, and she felt the same way, neither of you will be the same again. Every old person I know talks fondly of their first love, as lame as that sounds. If you have a disorder or imbalance that would make the problem worse, it would absolutely develop during the time frame you mentioned (you were probably 18/19 when you guys broke up) and it won't make anything easier. Best bet is to keep yourself occupied, do things that you know you want to do and spend some time building your confidence.

4 years ago, my grandmother got Alzheimer. It worsened drastically when she had an accident, in March 2013. I took care of her for a few months - I didn't sleep pretty much at all to attend college, study and look after her. 6 months later, my dad started feeling very sick. I had to drop out of university to take care of him. We had to wait for a year for a diagnosis - cancer. He went through a lot of surgery and some chemo. Luckily, he is now feeling good. Later that year, a very close friend of mine killed himself. At the beginning of 2015, I started feeling very sick and I had a kidney failure.

When summer arrived, and my life stopped being so fucking chaotic, I pretty much dead emotionally.
I couldn't do anything. I just laid in bed all day and didn't do shit. I was pretty burned out - I didn't know how to handle all the shit that happened to me, I just ignored my feelings till shit hit the fan. I didn't cry when my father got sick, I didn't cry when my friend died, I joked while I was in hospital.
I went back to university, but couldn't bring myself to study. I hit the lowest point in december 2015 - I didn't eat, didn't shower, didn't go out, never cleaned my room, couldn't bring myself to be enthusiastic about anything.

I went to therapy. It took me a few months to become somewhat functioning again, and I still don't feel good.
Right now I think I am at a decent point in my life. I recovered for the most part. I have some "strategies" that allow me to do shit and live normally. I am beginning to feel better.

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I always feel really guilty when I'm depressed. I constantly question whether I have the right to feel so bad given my life is not the worst.

I had a eye-opening experience a month ago. I quit my job and made plans to kill myself with the helium exit bag method. I had it all set up perfectly, had the house to myself with no possible chance of being rescued.

Obviously, I didn't do it. I followed the instructions meticulously; performed the scrunch method, filled the bag before pulling it down and tightening the opening. I lasted 2 deep breaths when I was filled with panic, ripped off the bag and shouted something along the lines of "oh for fuck sake" out of annoyance of having failed. I surprised myself by laughing at hearing my helium-affected voice.

I don't really know what I learned to be honest. All I know is since then I've felt somewhat better. Ultimately I just think I can't do it because I'm afraid of what people will think, that I was too weak to handle this. I'm stronger than this. The feeling of being afraid of what people may think is what hinders me and changes the way I am, I feel as though I'm not really the me I want to be because of it. I'm trying to change this now that I've recognized it.

All the medications and therapists have not come close to the insight gained by attempting to attempt suicide.

>>17380650
I lost my mom too, I was 18. Can't image how bad it must have been at that age.

If you feel he's talking to you like shit then you must talk to him about it and work through it, don't let is fester into resentment. This is obvious and generic advice but I felt the need to say something as I can relate to many of the things you said.

>>17382176
>If you had a serious emotional relationship with this woman, and she felt the same way, neither of you will be the same again

Unfortunately that's not really the case. We'd been good friends for about a year, and I got the sense she kept trying to escalate the friendship. I kept ignoring her advances because she was my friend's ex, but in time I'd began to think of her as my best friend and as someone I trusted completely, so I let it turn physical. She ended it a few weeks after that. Real story is a bit more complicated, but suffice to say I felt pretty hurt/betrayed by it, even though she was never anything more than a glorified fuck-buddy really.

Hey guys I have been depressed and I am taking med now and doing a lot better.

Now here are your problems:
> You can't think critically.(can't able to decide)
>being needy, emotional instability.
>Always looking at the dark side

This is what worked for me

>ask questions before you do something
>get the things doing, 1 at a time like reading a sentence and then expanding on that every day.
>cut off peoples that makes you feel like shit
>get out
>take care yourself, do what you want,it may be small things

I am out and It feels really good, I started doing things what I love, I am okay with the uncertainty et cetra.

>>17382197
I'm a happy You're still here suffering with us!
Seriously though, this is the kind of insight that changed me. Fuck this bullshit, Fuck this brain that makes everything gloomy. I don't like it, there's more to life.

>>17380685

I've considered suicide on a nearly daily basis for about as long. Somehow I've managed to obligate myself to enough people through work and other family that I never want to go through with it because too many people would notice.

Point being? Get a job where people count on you. Try and connect with other family. Try for relationships even if you doubt they'll work out. Get a pet. Suppress your feelings until you finally die naturally.

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So, Hi. I'm 22 and I don't really know how to explain this. I guess in a nutshell I'm just super fucking lazy. I was wondering if there are any drug prescriptions I could get that would help me become motivated to work.

I am currently living in my parents home, and there just isn't a reason for me to leave the nest. I don't have any friends or anything, and I know that I need to leave home but it just feels like there is nothing out there for me. There are no great friends, there is no cute wife. There is just hard work and rent and taxes.

I get to live at home and be with my parents, who love me. I don't think anything I can do could ever replicate what I've already got here.

But I still need a career, because I just have nothing to do right now. I can just put all of the money into giving my parents vacations.

So yeah. Anti depression drugs? ADHD? I dunno anything about that stuff. What do you guys know?

>>17379093
That picture

I feel fucked after a bad trip on acid once. I feel like it ruined my life

Someone help me I'm constantly feeling suicidal and everything around me is just weird ever since. Just weird everything looks weird

Someone kill me

>>17379076
you have general psychosis

>>17379093
>>17383703
thats why im hesitant to take LSD when im in a slump/depressive/self-loathing 'phase'
again i sort of dont understand how a bad trip fucks up ppl this hard
what even happened in ur trip

>>17381652
Depressed people don't tell everyone they're depressed
At most they'll only tell a select few who they really trust

I'm not depressed. It's just that when bad things happen, this automated response kicks in that says: "You should go hang yourself, you should have done a better job with those pills when you were 12, the next 12 years were a waste of fucking time"

I just found out my little brother has some form of depression. What the fuck do I do as a family member?

>>17381604
>>17381633
Not the anon you replied to but in very similar situation. Your posts helped, even if just a tiny eeny meeny bit.

Thanks.

>>17384549
Chin up my friend, everything is going to be alright. You are not alone.

How does one know they are depressed? Do you need to see a therapist and ask them if you are depressed?
Also is it true that most if not all people experience depression? If it's true I hate that, it just makes me feel like a bigger loser because it means other people do better than me at coping with depression and making it look like they are not depressed.

>tfw finally sought help
>tfw it got a lot better
>tfw starting education again, even have a job
on the horizon
>tfw I can feel it slowly coming back

>>17379043
I question every day. I stay consistent with running and diet. I understand I might get feedback loops if I don't question that loop. I understand that I have an ego, but I understand that I'm human and stupid about reality. The world and people around me are unbelievable when I think about what Earth was at the base block. I understand I have a position of power to help those without that power. I feel confident now and I don't know why. I think I feel better, but I question everything I know. I do like feeling good and knowing that others need help and don't know how to solve their problem, but I do. I've felt happy in the past so therefore I can be happy again.

>>17379093
Is marijuana also good enough?

>>17379093
>>17383703
You don't just take acid and expect to be healed. That line of thinking is what's going send you to the psych ward for hppd.
If you're feeling depressed and or suicidal take some molly and talk about your issues with people who care.
Acid is only going to amplify those depressed thoughts.

>>17383440
Http://www.recoveryinternational.org

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>>17379043
I have scrupulosity (religious OCD). For 8 months the thought of going to hell has been on my mind constantly. What is the chance hell is real? this is ruining my life.

I think about suicide every day several times a day. I'm going to go see my t therapist, maybe see about an adjustment to my meds. My son and gf would be traumatized so I can't do it. Plus my life is objectively okay, just my feels are sad and tired. I'm leaving errands undone to accumulate. I'm also really old so I'm going to die in a few years anyway. Ugh.

>>17386822
No chance that hell is real. Maybe get some professional help. Maybe find some book or meditation that helps you stay in the now. Also a hobby to keep your mind off it might help. Physical exercise too. Feel better anon bro.

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>>17386829
just curious, what makes you so confident hell isn't real? i used to be a fedora tipper, now I'm just scared. ;_;

>>17384486
Talk to him about it.

>>17386832
what makes you so confident hell is real?
eyewitnesses?

Kissless virgin here.
One thing im really scared about is how long ill last in bed with someone. Are there any ways of lasting longer?

Severe anxiety. I cant function. Please help.

>you're worth it
Worth what? Money? Worth what?

Had a depression diagnoses for 8 years now, asperger's and bipolar were added on to that.

I get autism bux now so I don't have financial issues but I still feel kind of empty, I do nothing with my life.
But I have no motivation to do anything.

>>17386832
Spiritual books a d teachers I've met made me realize that the traditional Christian story was just that....hiding the spiritual truths Christ taught. Those same truths are taught by many teachers....I might recommend Ramana Maharsi or Eckhart Tolle. Help is the pain you feel now....which is temporary so not real. The peace and bliss in your deepest being is Heaven. The teachers and books are just road signs pointing the way to that one same place.

To;dr heaven is in you, hell is not

>>17387134
Hell not help*