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Anonymous
How to let go of bitterness? 2016-07-21 16:10:05 Post No. 17379012
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How to let go of bitterness? 2016-07-21 16:10:05 Post No. 17379012
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3 years ago I was seeing a girl and it ended badly. It wasn't even a relationship really, we'd been close friends for a year or two, but only slept together a few times. Without going into too much detail, she ended it in a way that made me feel pretty used and betrayed. There was a bit of drama and some arguments, and when I was honest with her about how upset I was, she was genuinely apologetic and wanted to 'stay friends'. After a while I realised I couldn't handle that, so I just accepted (or pretended to accept) her apology and asked her not to contact me again, because I wanted a completely fresh start.
As I say, that was 3 years ago, but the bitterness has never gone away. The rational side of me knows that she was never the right girl for me in the long-term so, even if I'd had the relationship I wanted with her, it would have had to come to an end soon anyway. But the irrational side of me can't accept that. The irrational side won't rest until she knows she made a mistake dumping me. The irrational side wants her to have her heart broken by her current boyfriend, a guy she seems genuinely happy with and has been with for the past two years (her longest relationship), so that she didn't profit from using me.
So how do I let go and stop caring? Or, better yet, be genuinely happy that my former friend has found someone who she might have a happy long-term future with? We're completely out of each other's lives at this point, I just want to stop this fake internal battle that's raging in my head and come to peace with everything.
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>>17379012
you wasted 3 years on a heartbreak? you realize everyone goes through rejection and lives. You shouldn't care if she gives you a second thought and focus on your own shit.
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>>17379030
Yeah I know, and what's worse is I wasted them on a heartbreak from a glorified fuck buddy, not even a girlfriend. But knowing that it's ridiculous doesn't really help. Telling myself to focus on my own shit and stop caring about her doesn't really help, because I still think about her a lot. I wonder if the saying 'first love never dies' is true, and I wasted mine on someone who I knew it wouldn't end well with.
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>>17379030
Lmao, this. Honestly, she's just another human being at the end of the day, ugh, god, i really hate people.
I know how you feel. I don't have advice for you because i'm in the exact same boat except I'm a female feeling this way for a male.
Honestly, the best thing for us to do is meet up and bang each other and fall in love with each other instead of these losers.
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>>17379307
Deal, where do you live? After a 3-year dry spell and generally feeling shit, I'm ready to try anything.
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>>17379154
there is no magic bullet and she is no more fucking special than anyone else. get your head out of your ass
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>>17379012
The only good revenge is living a good life.
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>>17379795
Yeah but what do I actually do? Short of falling for someone else, I can't see how I can actually stop thinking about her so much. And I wanted to be happy being single and enjoying my life before I went looking for another relationship, I don't want to come at it from a place of desperation.
>>17379817
Yeah I know, but I don't want to even care about trying to live a good life or whether or not I'm getting revenge. I spent lots of the time since it happened travelling, and making sure I uploade pictures of me in some of the nicest places around the world, making it look like I was living life to the fullest. Even though we're no longer in contact, she still used to 'like' them, and I'd take it as a little victory. Then I realised how pathetic it was that I was still trying to make her feel like she'd make a mistake and make it seem like I'm having a great life when I've actually been depressed for a while, so I pretty much dropped off social media completely.
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