degradation

>>17378777
>i get to boss a woman around for my pleasure, so i could be completely truthful to my sub and how i feel about her and what i want her to do.

Then I would say you were less of a dom and more of an asshole.

Just treat her like you did your other subs.

Make her pick your cotton

>>17378777
"You're a dirty little slut, aren't you?"

"Who's a good little fuck toy" whilst your dick is in her mouth so she has to point to her self. That's pretty fun.

Just make her feel like she's a play thing, not a human. That works pretty well for me with my girl.

Of course, and I'm sure you know this, keep it to the sex.

>>17378836
Really though? Is being honest a bad thing? Is being an out and out dom a bad thing?

>>17378857
>Really though? Is being honest a bad thing? Is being an out and out dom a bad thing?

Pretty sure you weren't being "honest" as much as you were using your domness to vent frustrations to your partner without their knowledge.

Unless you regularly did let your partners know how stupid, pathetic, and unworthy they were in your eyes and they knew it wasn't part of domming, but how you actually felt. Which would be even worse.

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>>17378841
Holy shit lmao

OP here

>>17378857

interestingly, she explicitly says her hard limit is being treated subhuman. for example, "stupid piece of shit" was too much but "stupid bitch" was fine. maybe she just isn't clear about it because she's newish to expressing this part of kink.

thank you kindly for the suggestions.

>>17378836

hi there, welcome to kink! the sub/bottom LOVES experiencing certain sensations and emotions, so tapping that is pleasurable and reciprocal.

>>17378869

this here is the crux of my issue. she definitely would not be turned on if she didn't know i deeply care for her and think of her as an equal, and our different roles in the sexual partnership don't change that. it's the contrast, the game of control, feeling in that moment i want her for nothing more than my dirty little fuck doll.

huh. maybe i'm answering some of my own questions here.

You could also try going for the "pet" and "plaything" aspect. It's not the same sort of humiliation but it's still got the element of power. I'm a switch who doms sometimes, but the degradation thing is something I struggle with, so as a compromise I find things I'm okay with saying that still remind him of his place. I do often talk about how perverted he is for wanting thing, what kind of degenerate would enjoy having these things done to him, etc. That's easier than "stupid bitch", and it works just fine.

Dirty talk is such a struggle for me too, OP.

I swear there's such a strange delicate line of what someone wants and what doesn't work. You're just gonna have to be clear with her that you're going to keep fumbling until you get it right.

If she's got any porn or erotic books or something that gets her really excited, maybe ask her to share with you so you can get some material.

There's seriously nothing worse feeling than failing your partner at this. I'm still rebounding from my latest failure. So maybe I'm not the best bet.

>>17378777

try not to be morbid unless they express it. dont test the waters.

i had a daddy dom that would rape my mouth and it was great til he randomly threw out 'im gonna rip your head off and hang it from a fence picket

what the fuck, right? not exactly sexy to be told im gonna be murdered. not saying your gf wont like that but dont try until you know, no matter how unarticulate she is, dont take that risk

>>17379106

yeah, the pet / plaything is probably much more my style, and honestly i think it's hers too-- she's naturally very obedient in bed. she seems to equate degradation with dirty talk because that's what she's experienced before (with a long distance dom), but knowing how people evolve, i'll bet that's not her sweet spot.

i'll experiment with that. awesome suggestion, thank you!

>>17379110

yeah i feel you big time. i used the word "stomped" in a discipline story to my ex girlfriend last year, she interpreted it as "my dom stomped in like a toddler." though our dynamic was pretty fucking perfect, i still remember that one embarrassing little moment.

>>17379134

omgwtf

>>17379139
lul, how'd you use stomped?

I dunno about you, but for me it's more about how someone holds themselves while being a dom. The aggressively taking what they want. That could play a part in delivery too.

>>17379177

i couldn't find the story. she was a poet so we'd write long-form fantasies back and forth. the idea was she was disobedient, and i "stomped" up to grab her by the neck and lecture her. "stormed" perhaps would have been a better choice. yet i still always date writers. oy.

about the "taking what [i] want," and how it's delivered, you're absolutely right, and i did talk to her about that last night. in her weird, long distance dom affair, the guy liked to call her a "stupid bitch." i honestly don't know if i could say that in a hot/dommy way because it's so fucking retarded. i can find other ways to objectify her and mean it. after all, she really is my filthy little fuck toy who gets so wet from choking on my cock, and that intention might work just as well as what she's experienced before

I get off on being talked down to. Treat her like she's below you, like she's dumb/can't do things herself.