Dating an alcoholic

>>17378277

>Dating an alcoholic

Nope, this is the worst idea ever. Leave while you can.

>>17378277
Alcoholic here.

Girlfriend has told me I'm more "lovey" and fun to be around when I drink. Apparently I'm boring and prudish when I'm sober. Her only complaint is sometimes I spill shit or break shit when I'm too drunk.

Some drunks are mean, some aren't. My advice is to leave if it's affecting you to this point that you question it. Someone's potential isn't who they are. If your having issues now there's no guaranteeing you can save him, I would say to walk.

My ex was an alcoholic he was the nastiest most horrible person when drunk he'd tell me to kill myself constantly and became physically violent a few times.

I get the whole wanting to stay because you see potential and when they are sober they are so lovely but ultimately they are the most toxic people to be around. It's been a few months since we broke up and I am 100% back to myself I'm happy and care free and have no worries. When I was with him I was on egg shells constantly I was actually talking to my counsellor today about it and she explained it like this- an alcoholic is trying to fill a void no matter how good and kind you are to them they will destroy you they will pick any fault because they are made of faults. My ex always promised to change and he would for a few weeks and then he'd have a beer then that would turn into drinking everything in the house including 1 month old foul wine just because it was there. You have to let go he is drowning and no matter how many floats you send out ultimately he will drag you down too.

After you end the relationship dedicate your entire time to healing, it will take awhile but it will come little by little see a counsellor, get support of friends and family and don't ever believe him when he says one day I'll be better. I'm so sorry you are going through this dating him was the worst time of my life but now I'm out of it I am so happy, free and confident. Remember no one ever drinks themselves successful and happy they all end up alone and bitter... Just remove yourself as soon as you can.

>>17378332
Can you help me understand how an alcoholic feels emotions? He says he feels zero while sober but when he drinks he is full of them. Is this the same in your case? He is an intelligent person but seems to have no emotional intelligence.

>>17378379
Thank tou for your advice, he has pushed me around a few times the last time he badly hurt my arm.. It is so hard when the simple solution is to stop drinking but I guess he can't. He blames anything and anyone for his problems when it's clear that it's the alcohol. I guess I'm at the cusp of a change. It is affecting me badly. I can't even look in the mirror anymore as I don't know who is looking back. I will look at councillors today I think I need the outside support as not even my mum or sisters or best friend knows what's going on. I've never admitted this before but I'm genuinely afraid he will snap and kill me as he has threatened to a lot lately.

>>17378277
There are 3 types of drunks, love drunk, cruel drunk, i want to fuck anything that moves drunk, oh and btw, him being an alcholic is what making you attracted to him, you think you can change him is like a game your brain plays

>>17378397
I guess you're right. I always hoped he loved me enough to make changes and I am finding it crystal clear that's not the case.

>>17378401
>guess your right
Not to ring my own bell here but, yea its female psychology, you want to change him and make him a perfect him, but he wont let you, making you more attracted to him... I would say just leave, but i dont control your Destiny

Alcoholic here, but not drinking. My wife is an alcoholic. When she drinks I pretty much expect the worse. Any conversation with her will degenerate into an argument. She has gotten physically violent to the point that I spend days in a hotel.

I stay because I have a lot of my life invested with her. You don't. Get out while you can. It will only get worse. The "potential" you mention is the potential for physical harm, him being a danger to you, himself or others, financial problems, infidelity, etc...

Run while you can.