Friends talk about shit I think are fucking stupid, one sided

I think there is nothing much you can do. If they aren't interested they aren't interested and that's that. If you get along with them generally and you don't mind them then don't ditch them, just seek out other friends that you can talk about your interests with. I know it's difficult to find new friends, especially of the same sex, but just put yourself out there and be bold and confident.

It's like every time I have a good thought of something to say, I feel a need to say that as fully and detailed as I can. Instead of just acting in an instant based on my surroundings (or whatever it is I'm supposed to be able to do) I feel like the way I function is trying to say the best thing I can in any given scenario rather than actually being a part of the conversation wholeheartedly (since, like I said, I can only wholeheartedly discuss things that I am interested in and have trouble talking about anything when this isn't the case), so when I am interested it's like I'm having my own one sided statements and it's like I'm saying what I say for my own comfort of mind instead of being for social gratification?
I feel like a lot of this is the case for my friend as well

>>17378098
I mean we share interests and have a strong bond and we want to be friends with each other, and plus we're in a band and have alike music tastes (whether or not the reasons for this are equal), but all this shit he does like the vaping talk and the constant need to fit the (annoying) image he creates for himself (which is an unrealistic image created out of social anxiety or something) annoy the shit out of me a lot of times

please? bump?

>>17378102
I sometimes find myself in a similar state of mind. This feeling of wanting to share something in a manner that ends being its entirety. My advice is to just to be straight forward when you mention a point. If they are open minded or curious, they'll ask about how that point is true or relates to what they said. It's like that saying that goes " you're only responsible for what you say, not what others understand. Of course if you're too vague no one will no what you're talking about. Try not to take conversations too seriously. Consider what others say. If they're stupid, let them be. If not, conversation will be pleasant. Also, listening is a good skill. I myself am working on becoming a better listener. I have a hard time resisting mentioning that I've had the same experience before as someone.

>>17378184
Thank you for this
Do you have any advice on how to have more things to talk about? I can't ever seem to know what to say outside of my own planned thoughts, how can I ever feel safe enough to just speak what I want without over-processing myself?

Bump?

>>17378266
Ask questions. Be attentive. Show interest in the what the other person says. Don't worry so much about controlling a conversation. A conversation is like a dance between two different minds.

>>17378400
I guess showing interest when I'm not feeling it makes me have a knee jerk reaction of uncomfortability maybe? I get like a constant worry that I'm going to mess up or do something wrong maybe?
So if I can't get genuine interest in what the other person is saying, what are ways I can reciprocate them without just rephrasing what they say? I always obsess that me doing that is bad somehow? Like what are some ways I can think to say something that adds onto the conversation? I know I'm agreeable and I'm fine with that but I don't want to be just a yesman to people out of social anxiety, I know I'm a beta but I don't want to be if I can ever help it.
And I'm okay with not controlling a conversation but I'm not sure if I know how to add onto a conversation without bringing up a topic that I have control over. It's not that I don't want to it's just that I don't know a way how. How can I do this? Like especially in one-on-one conversations, I feel comfortable in groups usually but most of my fuck ups and anxiety come from one-on-one conversations with others that I'm not yet on a personal level with (and even if I am on a personal level, it's like if I don't feel above the person I'm talking with then I'm immediately below them and I am too nervous to act naturally).