Finding out your friends say mean stuff about you

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So I've been alone most of my life. I've had maybe 2 very close friends who have stayed with me and who i've genuinely cared about. I am extremely lonely even now but I can't bring myself to connect to people.
Recently i met a large group of people through my love of street fighter 5. I am a birdie main and talk about him very much. I love the character and playing as him. I have made a few friends there, and i feel i can connect with them.
recently i found out a lot of them have said mean things behind my back. while i know this is common, i've tried really hard to be nice to them and not cause problems so they like me and don't say these things, but regardless they did, and someone else told me. a lot of them said i only joined for the attention, I'm ugly, my "obsession" with birdie is creepy, and I'm just really weird in general. I have heard this before, but the people who said it are very good friends of mine, or at least i thought. I thought i was really making friends. I don't say mean stuff about people unless i dislike them, so i am extremely upset about this. I have not been called ugly since freshman year and i thought i was pretty and i thought people didn't mind my love of birdie. I feel horrible about myself.