how to sex this

someone help

say something flirty. how about "it would be more fun if you came over ;)"

>>17375065
that seems like it would work. should i just say im bored at home out of nowhere and see what she says

>spoonfeed me how to flirt

also, you've never even seen a picture of her? it's a fucking man you idiot

>>17375082
i dunno, i have a weird schedule so that im still awake when shes getting up for work. i was texting her in the morning and she told me i could call her so we could talk on the phone while she was driving to work. ill try to talk to her again see if i can call in the morning to confirm. also, she def doesnt seem like a dude. just genuinely wants to meet other players in our city

>>17375072
> netflix and chill

>>17375096
hm good idea. and to dispel the idea that its actually i man. after talking to her for a while i surmised that she was a redhead and she confirmed on her own pretty soon after she was. im not a complete fucking idiot

>>17375099
Do it, fucking do it. It'll make a hell of a story.

>>17375104
we are talking about netflix and chill right

protip: there are absolutely NO attractive women who play MMOs

either she's disgusting, fat, or like some other people said, probably a man. might be hoping to prey on a small child too.

>>17375112
yes. Tell her you want to watch netflix and chill.

OP, if legitimate, she's hot, and you get laid, get pictures and post them for the rest of us to see.

Also think of it like this; if she's that old and she's looking for some fug through a fucking mmo, then I'm sure she wouldn't mind some obvious flirting if not straight up "do you want to do sexys?????"

Don't be that autistic, but you know, follow the drill.

"Wanna come here and grind out some condoms with me? I'd love to go 1v1 with you."

>>17375127
Or whatever it is you living nerd sandwiches say. I don't Internet nearly enough to understand how the game works.

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reminds me of this

>>17375127
https://youtu.be/xciuYTeu4Qc

>>17375118
eh i know theres obscure cam girls/low tier porn stars that play this one. and looking the twitter theres a good share of attractive women.

>>17375120
lol ill try to be a little more subtle.

>>17375121
im not sure. keeps her characters covered up, like not dress like a slutty, and we havent really been straight up flirty though i should probably try to start moving there. for context weve grouped up maybe 4 or 5 times and we dont really talk a lot while playing

>>17375132
oh fug im not sure if this is a warning to steer clear or motivation to keep going

>>17375127
pretty sure it isnt that, i think shes normal enough for netflix and chill

my main concern is that shes REALLY fucking into this game. like its pretty much all she does it sounds like. almost to the point where im not sure how to get her away from that and into real life stuff. we both talked about how we have a dog. i was thinking dog play date?

>>17375145
Get her in Vent or TS3 or whatever the kids use these days. Discord or whatever.

>>17375151
she told me i should. ill probably get one if i can confirm shes actually woman on the phone

>>17375156
Getting her on there will confirm whether or not she's the woman on the phone.

>>17375173
oh yeah thats true. i guess i should

Pulled over a 100 girls, willing to help you if you actually listen to what I say and don't pussy out. Post screenshot of latest messages between you too (make sure you blur out name/number)

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>>17375180
the last message were reference to conversation about pizza. i got on the game like 2 min later and started talking there.

>>17375209
Fuck that's tame.

>>17375209
Assuming you haven't already asked her what she is doing this weekend, send her 'any exciting plans this weekend?'

>>17375225
it was livelier earlier. she was at work at and i was about to go to sleep.

>>17375232
i work weekends. so thats off the table. our best best is to get something in tonight or tomorrow night or i have to wait till next week. she did says she gets drunk on the weekends with her guild, maybe i could get off talking on the weekends (so far we havent yet cause our schedules) and see what happens

>>17375247
Weekends are probably best but if she's unemployed I'd say it wont make much of a difference. Its probably too late notice for tonight, I'd go with 'Any plans for tomorrow night?'

>>17375266
she said shes doing shit with her guild tomorrow night which is the problem shes ALWAYS on the game. i just talk to her a little later in the morning and see how it goes

>>17375279
Are you two not in the same guild?

>>17375297
nah i just pvp i dont raid or anything. i was only in a guild for the xp bonus. shes actually trying to nudge me into joining her so we can raid and such. we've only played a handful a time. couple times a week for the last few weeks. cause i work weekends. though joining her guild would be a good gesture i suppose

>>17375328
Do dungeons together so it's just the two of you in the voip.

>>17375007
GET PICS FIRST BEFORE YOU INVITE HER


>Be me
>Horny and 21 use various dating apps, tinder, zoosk, another one and another
>Get talking to 60 yr old lady
>I'm sure horny at this point another girl had just blue balls me after flirting all day
>It's about 3pm, the older lady was like heaps horny
>Invite her over
>She arrives in cab
>Looks about 70, is Maori and so skinny that I think she must be an addict or something because Maoris are all big
>For some reason I let her in
>Think fuck it I cna at least get off
>We sit on couch she is super shy
>Try to make some moves and she says she wants the lights off etc etc hasn't been with anyone for ages
>We go to my room
>She goes down in me then asks me to return the favor
> She has a huge bush so I just cover it with my saliva and use fingers instead
> We fuck raw
>Fele like shit after say I'm tired gona go to sleep
>She won't stop fucking talking about her kids who are like a decade older than me
>Go to the lounge with my laptop to play video games
>She follows me out and keep fucking talking cos she can't sleep
> I know shes just horny and wants more dick but I'm not into it I couldn't get it up if I tried
>Eventually she goes to sleep and i follow and go to sleep
>Call her a taxi real early then shower five times


This all would have been avoided if I saw more clear pics before she came

The one pic I did see was over her eyes and nipple. I woukd have stopped msging her if I saw the whole package before and it's a huge regret.

>>17375279
You need to be direct. Figure out a time she is free and use something like 'You should come and keep me company on _______ (whatever day you suggest'. If you manage to get her to come over, then you need to make sure you don't pussy out and sit at opposite ends of couch and avoid contact. Don't be too touchy feely but make sure you have 'flirty' body language towards her. In all honesty, if you're a virgin it probably wont go down so well even if you get her over. You may get lucky but you may be apprehensive in your 'flirting' interactions with her. Nonetheless even if you don't get laid, its a great learning experience and you'll be better set for next time. If you get her over I'd give you a 50% chance of getting laid

>>17375341
> Inviting your hook ups to your house where you live
How do you expect to run away if it's your own home

>>17375341
This op

Also, you can be more sexually aggressive.

Get pics first, gauge her interest in you. When you see her pics don't say autist shit like

Wow you are so incredibly gorgeous
Or
Your eyes are so amazing I could get lost in them

Fuck off

Be direct, comment on sexy parts. She shows some leg? Tell her how sexy they are and how you wish the dress was pulled up a bit higher
Mad cleavage? Thanks for that pic of your a+ tits that image will be burned in my brain for days
A face pic only? Comment on how luscious her lips are, talk about how full and soft they look

Whatever she sends you, make it sexual.

I honestly think that if a 51 yr old chick is that into you over a game when she knows you age and know you live close, she wants your dick.

>>17375362
> A face pic only? Comment on how luscious her lips are, talk about how full and soft they look

My go to when they ask me what I think
> It makes me want to steal a kiss

>>17375353
That was the problem.

I had invited girls to mine before with no issue but for some reason this lady intimated me, also she made it super clear she can't go home to the morning and I was pretty beta back then so I let her stay


I have fucked a giant bbw who was in her 50s at her place before. She fucking stunk. I nutted in her then bailed. We did it doggy and she had moles all over the fucking back so i had no where to put my hands fuck you for making me remember this

>>17375364
No, that's fedora mlady shit

Make it sexual, not romantic

>>17375367
Fuck off nigga, you ain't slick.

>>17375374
>May I steal a sweet kiss from you, m'lady
>Such a gorgeous gown you are wearing tonight my dear, that black would make crows jealous
>Those eyes...so deep and telling, what stories can they tell me... huhuhu..

>>17375332
we do story stuff together so we crack jokes about the story and what not. all of our convos are private and not it some open channel or group with other people listening

>>17375341
thats the plan. not sure how i should go about getting these before hand. we were sending pics of our dogs/battlestations and those were pretty fucking ready on her end. so im sure shes got tons of selfies ready to send

>>17375350
im not a virgin but i havent talked to a girl this much in for fucking ever.

>>17375362
yeah im aware im not putting as much effort as i could. yesterday was the first time we talked about a bunch of stuff that wasnt game related. ill try to get more personal convos going.

got her on the phone now and she does NOT sound hot. i can post the convos later.

>>17375605
You are retarded dude, don't make any decisions till you see pics


Seriously wtf are yu delusional

>>17375611
eeeehh. she SOUNDS like a fat fuck and admits to being fat. then i mentioned that i lift and made this "you lift........o-okay........." reaction. not even going to try at this point, hopefully i can let this down quietly

>>17375635
and she plays THREE mmos, not just the one i play. fuck fuck fuck

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ugh wat do now
she would have a good pump and dump 6/10 ginger slut back in her day but eh

we got off the phone and we're texting cause she's at work now. she started the convo with wanting to get coffee sometime. i dont want to be seen in public with her if i end up caving and decide to smash.

>>17375651
Man don't even bother. It's rare to get an in shape 50 year old.

>>17375643
ABORT MISSION

>>17375761
>>17375804
we are finally talking about sex. i might try to get head

Ask her to come and keep you company and you say youll cook. Shes round, quick feed, then up you go

she wont share her weight. i can deal with low 200s if this is super easy but if shes wide as tall then this is going end badly for her.

>>17375906
lel dude, you're asking her about her weight? post the rest of the conversation, this sounds like a trainwreck

>>17375912
im about to,go to bed she isnt mad. she basically said upfront she thnks shes fat and ugly kek

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im doing this. we are talking about meetig inperson and potentially have sex

>>17375976
ew

Just fuck her. Im sure shes lonely and just needs a good dicking. If she want something more, bail.

>>17375976
Totally smashable

Get it son

>>17376017
What happened to you to make your standards so low? Who did this to you?

we're meeting up for coffee tonight to see if we have chemistry and im worth beaking her age restrictions. but now,im,really going to bed

>>17376030
Post here when you're finished OP, I need a good laugh!

This is amazing

>>17375976
Nice tits. She looks like she has halitosis though, hope she brushes her teeth.

>>17375007
Meet up somewhere else and if she's good take it back home

just woke up bumping to keep the thread alive. will update if we go through with meeting up forcoffee

>>17377359
Ayyyy. I'll be rooting for you

fug i misread the convo, we were supposed to do coffee thursday. ill let the thread die now. maybe ill make another of,i get anywhere

Ben fucking X

> i have reason to believe shes hot for a 51 year old

Oh yeah, all the 50+ year olds playing MMOs are bound to be attractive, go for it bro.

>>17375099
>i surmised that she was a redhead
>im not a complete fucking idiot

Yeah, you are

>>17375651
>i dont want to be seen in public with her

But willing to let her come to your home and have all the neighbors see you with her.
Fucking kids these days.

>>17377615
how does correctly guessing her hair color based based off the way she talks/inflections make me an idiot?

>>17377561
i dont know what this means

>>17377600
at thos point im looking for the soft spot between easy and smashable amd she seems to meet it

>>17377635
Dude just fuck her.
Honestly if this is where you're finding it, this is the best you can get.

>>17377643
nah it was convience more than anything

>>17375643
>>17375976
desu I would smash, but that's because I have a mature fetish. But it's ultimately up to you, OP. Do what you think is right.
keep me posted