emotions

>>17373758

learn to be content as who you are.

a woman doesn't make you a 'better man' unless you are still a better man when she is gone. otherwise she just made you a fraud.

you dont need another girl. you are who you are, and all you have to do is learn to enjoy yourself without her, or any 'her' for the time being.

you dont want another woman because, as you said, you are empty. there is nothing there to share. learn to become full again, and if you ever met the right kind of girl, you'll have something to share with her - if you want. cuz if you dont want, you can keep that fullness for yourself and continue to be happy in that way.

it sounds to me like you're one step ahead of most of the anons I see posting on this board, OP.

you are greater than the sum of your parts. you aren't just a guy whos had a break up. you are those conversations, those disagreements, those feelings, those moments. you are still all of those parts.

>>17373801
>it sounds to me like you're one step ahead of most of the anons I see posting on this board, OP

Why do you say that?

And just.. she brought me out of a bad place. before I met her, I was doing really bad mentally. Lifestyle wise, I have decent quality of life, I'm not in terrible shape, I have a decent paying job. But I'm just always sad. But then I met her, and she made me light up. Nothing bothered me at that time. But now, I feel like I've just dropped to where I was before, but now, I have new emotions to deal with that I never had before.

I just feel lost, empty, and alone.

>>17373837

because unlike most anons you understand wahts actually happening to you. while you technically ask for what to do, the impression you give is that you are seeking more to understand.

like i said before, a woman only makes you a better man if you are still better when shes not around. your problem before wasn't necessarily sadness, but rather, a lack of emotion in general. she opened you up to emotions, and now you have them, even though shes gone.

though you may have sad emotions, you now have the opportunity to truly work through them and get a stronger understanding of self, and along the way, fill them emptiness with it.

the native americans have a spirit totem for the bobcat that teaches us how to be 'alone without being lonely'

this isn't to say they are meant to be hermits or permanently single, but rather that they need to learn how to enjoy themselves by themselves for when necessary.

something to think about

>>17373856

Your posts actually seem to make senses. So thank you for that. I was worried it would just be people saying "move on", "go have lots of sex with sluts".

I just don't know how to be happy with myself. I've never like myself. Even tho ive had success. I don't like me. I truly don't understand how people around me like to talk to me, or be around me. Because if I was them, I wouldn't.

I just took a 4 day vacation to a Island in the Caribbean, I was intending to clear my head. But instead. I quietly sat on a empty beach for 3 days and sipped beer. I just felt sad.

>>17373879

my advice does boil down to 'move on' but you're new to the situation and 'moving on' takes some defining. im not a fan of the 'go have sex with sluts' rule. it does work for some. not for others.

>i just dont know how to be happy with myself

most people dont until they do. trying to discover how to be happy with yourself is about half the battle. people can be in the shittiest fucking situations but tend to find happiness simply by enjoying the ride while working towards what they think will make them happy.

and while those end goals do bring much more joy, working towards them can be almost as satisfying.

you dont know how to be happy wiht yourself, but you have a long life ahead to figure it out. many people discover it rather quick, so i doubt it will take you a full lifetime.

just think about who you are, what you like, and what you dont like.

then take the time to differentiate between what is something YOU dont like, and what is something that isn't 'mainstream'.

a lot of being happy is letting go of the conflicting feelings brought on by society.

homosexuals are a great metaphor here. many who start to realize their feelings simply dont want to be gay because of the lifestyle. despite being gay themselves they hate it, because much of society still perceives it negatively. even those who claim to be gay friendly tend to define homosexuals by their gayness, thus making it a trait no one really WANTS.

yet if you are gay, you have to learn to be happy wiht that. there is nothing objectively wrong with it, and if enjoying that lifestyle brings you joy you have to work at ignoring what the mainstream considers worth being happy about.

apply that to your life and think 'do i hate this part of me because society doesnt enjoy it, or do i really really dislike that part?'

if its a true dislike for a trait, its generally changeable and requires growth. if its just a society problem, the only growth required is letting go of that.

>>17373894

I just know that I don't want to have sex anymore, or see girls anymore. I'm done, this is too confusing and hurts

I've just never liked myself tho, just in general. I just don't.

>>17373930

>i just dont want girls

you might change your mind later. you might not. for now. doesnt matter about then. what matters is now. so focus on that

>i just never liked myself tho

not going to repeat myself. i gave you a big long post describing the beginning of how to self love and just saying

>i never liked myself tho

doesn't invalidate any of it. it hurts, but theres your advice.

>>17373939

Thanks anon

>>17374026


good luck man

Some of the most solid shit I've read on here. God bless you anon.

>>17374088

anytime man, glad i could help