Thread replies: 15
Thread images: 1
Thread images: 1
Anonymous
I don't want her back, so why can't I get over her? 2016-07-19 21:11:27 Post No. 17373366
[Report] Image search: [Google]
I don't want her back, so why can't I get over her? 2016-07-19 21:11:27 Post No. 17373366
[Report] Image search: [Google]
File: 1460729673371s.jpg (460KB, 1566x1583px) Image search:
[Google]
460KB, 1566x1583px
I don't want her back, so why can't I get over her?
Anonymous
2016-07-19 21:11:27
Post No. 17373366
[Report]
A few years ago, I had my only ever 'relationship'. Inverted commas because it was pretty much over before it even began. I've always been a very reserved/defensive person, so to help me relax around her this girl had been getting closer and closer to me for a year, until the point where I felt like she was my best friend and could talk to her about anything. We slept together a few times, hung out together all the time, and I thought everything had finally come together for me. But truthfully I was only ever her plan B, and when plan A became available to her she dumped me without even telling me. Whatever, it was a shitty way to end it but worse things happen - when I told her how she'd hurt me she apologised fully, and gave the inevitable promise we could 'still be friends'. Even though I had huge amounts of anger and confusion building up, I managed to keep things amicable and simply said I'd prefer not to be in contact with her anymore, and asked her to respect that. So she did.
I thought that 'time would heal all wounds', but truthfully that sadness I felt after the break-up has never really gone away. It's less intense now obviously, but it's still there. I can see now that we weren't a good match, and I don't want her back, but I still get upset when I see or hear something about her with her current boyfriend. I shouldn't still be having this strong a reaction, and I don't know what to do. Since her, I've not met any other girls I want to be with, maybe because I've just put my defences back up double-strength. I was hoping that I'd just start to enjoy life again in my own time, but I don't know what can help me now, other than falling in love with someone else and forgetting all about her.
Any tips/advice from people who have been through something similar?
>>
>>17373366
is she the one on the pic? Damn I'd miss those boobs too.
Anyways I think that you don't miss her, you miss having someone "special", but at the same time you "put your defenses back up", and that makes i harder to find smeone else.
I'm afraid the only way to make it stop is to get intoanother relationship.
>>
>>17373425
No not the one in the pic, unfortunately. Obviously, I'd like to get into another relationship, but truthfully I'm kind of weird (not in a bad way), and I need a girl who's the same kind of weird to click with. I haven't met anyone like that. Honestly, I wouldn't be surprised if I never did - I don't think that's exaggerating or being too pessimistic, I just think I'm not really compatible with most girls out there.
>>
>>17373498
>truthfully I'm kind of weird (not in a bad way), and I need a girl who's the same kind of weird to click with.
I know that feel bro... but in the end you can't do anything else. I tried forcing things a bit and going with random girls, but it just doesn't feel the same. It feels empty. Sometimes you just have to endure the loneliness, unfortunately.
>>
>>17373548
Yeah that's why I stopped going out drinking and looking for one-night stands, and why I'm not desperately looking for girls on Tinder or something like that. I told myself that next time it would be the real thing, or nothing. But like I said, I'm not like most other people, and I honestly wouldn't be surprised if I just stayed single now. I thought that I could find fulfillment in other parts of my life, but nothing brings that comfort back, or keeps the loneliness away.
>>
Going to bed now, but I'll give this a bump and check in the morning to see if anyone else has something to offer.
>>
>>17374299
Thanks
>>
Final bump
>>
You're romantically hooked on her. Not in love, not exactly infatuation, not resentment. A confusing state, and can potentially weaken and disable you to a point where you get depressed.
Best thing to do is to avoid all contact, don't look at her online stuff and just let it all go by accepting every emotion and thought that might appear - don't try and make sense of it, just try and see past it, to a future where this doesn't bother you anymore. Your mantra should be 'I don't have to do this anymore' and find news ways of laughing about the whole thing.
Work on yourself, that's when the new one comes into your life.
>>
ppl get upset when they are fucked over
you also havent let it out
you should have slapped the bitch and shout her stupid face off
>>
>>17375190
I just wondered if there's anything other than that which I can do, because that's what I've been doing for the last 3 years. In the first year I was pretty bad with checking her social media all the time and it always made me feel like shit, so I deleted her on everything and stopped checking on her. Unfortunately we still have lots of mutual friends though, so I don't know whether it's completely possible to avoid all traces of her completely.
>>17375192
I could have got angrier with her sure, but it wouldn't have achieved anything. When she found out how she'd hurt me she was genuinely apologetic and wanted me to feel better, she just didn't want to get back with me. I give off a public image that I don't care about anything (which I thought she could see past, given how close we were), and she really thought that she could just use me however she liked and I'd be ok with it.
>>
>>17373498
Christ i relate with you on so many levels...
Things will get better and smoothen out r-right guys?
>>
>>17375484
How long has it been for you lad? Any experiences with anyone else in the meantime?
>>
>>17375501
6 months or so
Girl turned out to be a nutter
>>
>>17376339
That's a shame anon, but 6 months isn't too long really. Keep your head up and I'm sure things will work out for you.
Thread posts: 15
Thread images: 1
Thread images: 1