ITT anons 30 years old and above give life advice.

I'm 30 m8 but you probably don't want advice from me. What do you want to know?

>>17372993
anything you think is important, I don't have anything specific to ask for

>>17372986
Don't be me.

/thread

>>17373001
why?

>>17373004
im gay as fuck

>>17372999
I don't know man, I mean I'm 30 but still don't really feel like an adult.

I think it is important to take care of your health. Eat well, nutrition is key. Lay of the caffeine, let your body rise and fall more naturally. Keep off the drugs, especially the pharma ones.

Be careful with your back. Don't over load it, watch your posture, don't life super heavy things (even if your form is good it still puts lots of pressure on the disks). Stay thin.

Enjoy your 20s. I feel like I missed out on mine because I kept working super hard to get to that next level. Well, as soon as you reach one goal, you have another. So, enjoy the moments I guess. Do things where you enjoy the process not just the end result.

Be humble. I always wanted to be larger than life around people and in my insecurity I made up stories and lies. Get over your ego and be a regular guy/girl, if you aren't already. It makes you more approachable and people will like you more.

I've never had a gf so have zero dating advice. I'm not sure how to cure depression, mine is still pretty bad.

>>17372993
>>17373001
What did you do wrong that i can avoid?

>>17373046
Idk if your depression is about "not having a gf" but...

I've heard some people here caring too much about this, not having a gf and being 40yo, it's not a problem, no one ever said we're here to find someone. We're here to.be happy either alone or not :)

Probably didn't helped, but stay cool, even the darkest shadow shall go away :) ~peace

>>17373058
I did a lot wrong, but, two off the top of my head:

I got on anti-depressants for my depression. I guess they work for some, but, they made me into a zombie and getting off of them was extremely hard. It cost me a lot of my 20s where I wasn't myself. Eventually you have to stop that stuff anyways, so just don't start.

I worked really hard to become an engineer at a tough school because I thought that would be a prestigious job. I wanted to impress my dad and other people. Truth is I'm really bad at anything mechanical and it was a terrible fit. So now I'm an engineer, but I'm not a very good one and not that happy. I mean my job is alright but I became an engineer for all the wrong reasons.

Anyone here married?

I'm young and avoid almost all social interaction, but I still want to have a family. The idea of dating terrifies me. I don't care much about sex, I just want to settle down eventually. How difficult is this process?

You can't control people.

People will be who they are and to a lesser extent, what they want to be. You can talk to/at them, influence them, help them, manipulate and trick them a bit, but you're just working with what's already there.

The only person you can really control is you.

So stop trying to change/control/save everyone else and learn to adapt and/or change yourself.

>>17373064
Yeah, I'd love a companion. It's not even so much a sex thing for me anymore as it is someone to love me and someone to love back. I'm also afraid if I ever got close to having a gf that I'd be so inexperienced with dating and sex that she'd just leave me immediately. I mean, by 30 you expect a guy to be reasonably good at those sorts of things. I'm not.. I'm afraid no girl would ever give me a chance.

Regardless, I got thin and fit and I'm dressing well. So, I'm trying. Maybe something will happen for me. I don't have any friends so the problem is meeting people in the first place.

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28
satisfying job
rented flat
was in shitty relationship, now single
some friends

I can share my wisdom, which is pretty much nothing.

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Here is something from /b/ a while back. Actual oldfag. I don't agree with everything (I'm 30), but it's still a good read. Enjoy.

(forgot to attach in that last one)

>>17373079
>28
the cutoff has to be somewhere, and it is 30. wait another 2 years.

>>17372986
Does life get any better when you're older?

>>17373068

31 and married for 5 years. We dated seriously for about 3 years and knew each other for 7 years before that.

Things happened gradually. We had a mutual friend and enjoyed hanging out with one another. I think what helped is that neither of us really forced things. Getting married was more of an economic thing than anything else, but we've enjoyed it a lot.

For me, it seems that the key is being able to enjoy being around people, especially people who are different from you.

If other people and their little quirks irk you, and you just can't get over it without saying or doing something in response, then you're in for a whole heap of shit.

If you think you HAVE to be in a relationship with someone, then you're in for a whole heap of shit.

If you're not realistic about what you want or expect because your idea of romance, dating, and sex are based on what you've seen online, on TV, or in movies, then you're in for a whole heap of shit.

Real relationships are about two imperfect people sharing their life with each other. Just look at any couple that's been together a while. They'll happily admit that there are things the other does that drives them crazy. They both know when to do their own thing and give the other space. But they also know that the bad outweighs the good.

And you have to be a person who is capable of experiencing some discomfort for something you enjoy without being an ass about it.

>>17373094
Not for me. The best years of my life were late high school and college. Right out of school was great too, but, that enjoyment quickly subsided. Working life is okay, but time passes really fast and life seems to go no where.

I look back and feel a lot of regret on what I did wrong and the things I missed out on because I was too autistic.

>>17373095
Damn, that sounds rough. It's hard to understand how the majority of people are able to do this. Thanks for the advice.

My advice is get a girl ASAP.

I fucked about, enjoyed being single and all that, but now at 31, I find that all the girls my age are in long term relationships, have kids or are ugly.

Get a girl early.

>>17373100
I'm 19 and I'm already regretting life, thanks for the sage advice.

Please PLEASE look at thread (being over 30 may have been in similar situations)

>>17373098

tl;dr Basically a close friend is being a horrible cheating whore careless wife. It's so fucked. Grappling with if/when/how to tell her husband.

Already distanced myself from her and am cutting her off completely. Read it through before you decide?

>>17373105
>Damn, that sounds rough.

It's not. It's like family: you love your dad, mom, and siblings, even though they may not agree 100% with you and even do shit that makes you upset. But you still love them and manage to live with them and even when you leave them, you go back to visit them.

Marriage is kind of like that, but you get to CHOOSE who you're hitching your wagon up to.


>>It's hard to understand how the majority of people are able to do this.

The majority DON'T do it. Most marriages end in divorce- at least those in the US.

This is largely because a long running marriage isn't something that just "happens" and cannot be sustained purely on lovey dovey infatuation alone. It takes work and some sense of obligation, whether it be to your partner, society, culture or something else.

>>17373100
>Not for me. The best years of my life were late high school and college. Right out of school was great too, but, that enjoyment quickly subsided. Working life is okay, but time passes really fast and life seems to go no where.

What were you doing in high school and college that you can't do now?

>>17373122
I was regretting life by then already also. But my ego kept me from changing myself for the better until I was 28. I still have a lot of work to do on myself, but, it took me too long to get here.

If you are struggling, try to take a good look at yourself and ask yourself why. Then takes steps to fix it.

>>17373128
I'm at a disadvantage here because my own family is really screwed up, and as a result I don't have any experience maintaining relationships now. It gives me a real anxiety that I could die alone if I don't figure it out sometime. I was thinking about moving overseas too, which would make things even more complicated. I understand you though, thanks for the advice.

>>17373138
I had more freedom, less concerns, I was around people too. It's very hard for me to meet anyone now, because I'm just around people at work. I had a bit of a social life there and it took no effort.

Also I felt like my life was ahead of me, now I feel like it is behind me.

Now I also have a lot of back and wrist pain from various injuries, that hang around and never seem to go away.

>>17373150
Yes, get braces. And wear your retainer forever.

>>17373119
>I fucked about, enjoyed being single and all that, but now at 31, I find that all the girls my age are in long term relationships, have kids or are ugly.

Those girls you get when they're young turn into women in long term relationships, with kids, and are ugly. That's just life.


I'm guessing that at 31, you fit one of those bills yourself. Clearly not in a long term relationship, so you either have kids or are ugly.


And if you're unattached, childless, and good looking, then there's nothing preventing you from snagging a much younger girl who will eventually turn into what you don't find attractive.

>>17373153
>I had more freedom, less concerns, I was around people too. It's very hard for me to meet anyone now, because I'm just around people at work. I had a bit of a social life there and it took no effort.

What do you do for a living?

Because I work my 8 hours a day, pay mortgage and utilities online automatically and have more than enough time and money to spend hanging out with other people doing shit I like to do.

And more mobility to boot. I remember waking up and realizing that I could just drive to the beach and fish for 12 hours straight.

>>17373144
>I'm at a disadvantage here because my own family is really screwed up, and as a result I don't have any experience maintaining relationships now.

If you have enough sense to know your family is screwed up then you have enough sense to know not what to do. But I'm sure there are SOME people in your family that aren't perfect whom you still love, or who love one another, right? No friends in any such situation? Everyone you know hates everyone related to them by blood/marriage and is just waiting for a chance to bail?


>>It gives me a real anxiety that I could die alone if I don't figure it out sometime.

Chances are high you're going to die alone anyway given that your partner can die before you for any number of reasons, your children could die/leave, etc. Don't get into a relationship for fear of being alone.

>>17373179
Well, there are some family members that I'm not at odds with, but we're just distant. I had a really unhappy time growing up and now I maintain my distance from everyone. I don't really care about dying alone, I just want to feel accomplished, and I think raising a child or two would be a good way for that to happen. Otherwise I'll have no idea what I've done in life.

Vigina becomes loose from to much shit inserted and become permanently stretched after a giant baby head comes out.

Bitches who are looking Close to before wintertime (we are still animals with instinct) are Usually skanks, Just dont forget, the only thing You might want is to fuck for the winter, its all fair.

Some Bitches has stinky Vigina's, but remember that its Germs that make things stinky.

Do not fall for others telling you how to think or live Your life, Only You know whats best for You.

>>17373163
I'm an engineer. I work 7:30-5:30 most days. Weekends I have housework and errands/shopping. I'm also tired all the time.

>>17373198
>Well, there are some family members that I'm not at odds with, but we're just distant.

Good, start with them.

>>I had a really unhappy time growing up and now I maintain my distance from everyone.

Unhappy with whom?

>>I don't really care about dying alone, I just want to feel accomplished, and I think raising a child or two would be a good way for that to happen.

Don't bring kids into it. What if you have a kid and don't feel that surge of accomplishment? What then?

>>17373217
>I'm an engineer. I work 7:30-5:30 most days. Weekends I have housework and errands/shopping. I'm also tired all the time.

Guy, you have the most generic life imaginable. Most social places are just getting started when you get off of work. How you can't make room for a relaxing session of whatever it is you enjoy is beyond me.

How about you do your shopping and house work on your work days after you get home, leaving your weekends free.

What the heck do you even shop for EVERY weekend?

>>17373153

So what exactly did you do in high school and college for fun?

I'm 32, ask me anything.

General advice: You will age. Your body will like working out less, your eyesight will degrade a bit... Your will get the beginnings of wrinkle lines and the odd gray/white hairs... you WILL get tired and want to go to bed at reasonable hours instead of playing vidya and fapping till 6 am. It's probably regular work schedules that do this.

Don't waste ay fucking time with people (romantic partners) who don't respect you and don't give you anything but resounding return of your affections. I don't have many regrets in life, but in hindsight I can see I wasted way too much time and emotional energy on people who either used me, or whom I let use me. If one won't (love you), another one will. MOVE ON. There is always, always, someone else waiting around the corner. Seriously, don't waste any fucking time on chasing people. The 'right ones' don't need to be chased. You will be amazed at how easy falling in love with the right person is. Hard to understand when you're 21, but at 32, it is so head-bangingly obvious.

Develop yourself, but don't be too obsessed with climbing the corporate ladder (as if you have the chance these days) that you forget to do shit you enjoy. Offices are full of soulless climbers who are a dreadful bore to be around. Don't study shit you don't want to do. I know countless people who studied STEM, IT, accounting or whatever 'in demand' job, only to leave after a few years of work in the field, realizing they hate this shit or its not as lucrative and 'respected' as they imagined. It's 8-10 years you won't get back. I mean... studying truly useless shit is probably also a mistake, ideally you find some compromise. But I promise you, unless you're economically desperate, you will NOT stay in a profession you have no passion for.

Just things I wish I had been told when I was younger.

>>17373004
>30+
>Was kv till nearly 30
>1 relationship
>no dates since breakup
>live with mother and her bf (bf is lazy asshole)
>live in senior community (entire region has most old people in state)
>job boring
>manager hates me and I was nearly fired for getting on her bad side, forever on her bad side
>have to put up with workplace safety violations
>1 hr total commute and still no time to myself
>make ~$30K (great benefits though)
>still paying off loans
>Move out = rent poor (more than ⅓ income would go to rent, heard the rule used to be ¼)
>have tinnitus
>graying
>receding hairline
>hair loss on top of my head due to workplace stress, stopped but still hasn't fully recovered, not sure if it will
>have depression (mostly due to mom's bf creating toxic environment)
>don't use my education in my work, had to retrain to get current job
>10 yrs behind peers professionally, financially, personally, and romantically
>1 friend I talk to sporadically, everyone rose drifted away. I expect her to do so completely, eventually

>>17373224
My family was torn apart while I was still about 10 years old, and now they're in a state where they do nothing but hide away, do drugs, and wake me up by yelling at three in the morning. I have a feeling these problems are the main reason why I haven't had any friends in a very long time.

About kids, I don't really know. It's just something that will be a change. I feel unsatisfied sitting alone at my computer on this site all day.

>>17373154
>And if you're unattached, childless, and good looking, then there's nothing preventing you from snagging a much younger girl who will eventually turn into what you don't find attractive.
This. I'm 32, and most dudes I know who are my age in LTRs, but break-ups happen now and then and people come on the market occasionally. I've had a girlfriend for nearly 5 years now, but before here in my late 20s, I never found it so easy to pound 18-19 year old pussy (or pussy of any age, really). I kinda miss that, to be honest. I have an OK sex life, but the urge to fuck other people never really goes away. Get it while you can.

I'd consider anyone who's 30+ and on /adv/ to be a failure.

>>17373086
pretty gud, however this would be most useful if shown to /r9k/, most of this kind of stuff should be self-explanatory if you have a realistic view on life.

>>17373332
Hey, some come here to give advice.

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Dudes who have actually banged chicks:

I'm 21 i know I can talk to people I do sales and I know I'm pretty attractive people other than my mother have told me that, buuuuuut.... I haven't gotten laid yet. I think I've made strides recently I've been talking to girls lately and made some female friends. I think I have a lot of subconscious resentment for women but I know it's me that's awful. I guess, being an adult now and seeing that no one really gives a fuck unless you have something to give them and I've already accumulated a lot of debt (like declare bankruptcy level) and as much as I want to fuck chicks I feel like there's so many more pertinent issues to tackle. Anyway, thanks in advance oldies I hope to be really happy and really successful when I'm 30s

>>17373150
>>17373156
Holy shit, you're kidding right? If you think your teeth are bad then mine would make you literally barf, and I am fine with mine. Braces are expensive. You might as well consider yourself legally retarded because there is no need to get 'em.

>>17373412
If you smell shit all day, look under your shoes. There's probably some behaviour tick you're doing that puts people off. 21 is young. I didn't lose my v-card till a week before my 23rd birthday (I was pretty beta back then, and had been a mousy bookish teenager). I've sampled 13 different pussies now.

>>17373150
you should bleach that skin and get nose surgery, as you look awfully Indian. Teeth are fine.

also, shave that pubestach. No one is impressed.

>>17372986
Wear sunscreen and floss. If you hate flossing, get a water flosser.

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>>17373086

I'm halfway through being halfway through with my twenties, and if I could go back five years I'd tell myself to do all of this.


I suppose I'll start now.

Biggest regret? Is it not doing something or doing something?

>>17373065
What would you have done differently if you didn't study engineering?

>>17373612
Not sure. I think maybe something in liberal arts or design. But something I could get a job in

>>17373631
Also, are you >>17373046?

Could you elaborate on
> Well, as soon as you reach one goal, you have another. So, enjoy the moments I guess.

Not sure if that is describing me right now.

>>17373073
I am sorry to hear that you have no friends, if it was possible I'd like to be yours, but I can barely speak English or live near you. But good luck m8 we believe in you :)

Is 26 young or old?

>>17373073
get a dog?

Wise anon give me advice please
I just turned 22 and I don't know what im gonna do with my life
I left school at 16 and just kind of fucked off since then, I want to have a career but I don't know where to start.

>>17373073
>I'm also afraid if I ever got close to having a gf that I'd be so inexperienced with dating and sex that she'd just leave me immediately.

There are so many dorky women in the mid to late 20's who feel the same way. If you have any other nerdy friends, you'll meet them.

>>17373790

What do you do for a living?

Get a state job.

>>17373796
>State job
Don't those require experience and a diploma?

>>17373325
>the urge to fuck other people never really goes away. Get it while you can.

Fuuuck. I had to dump my gf because of that urge, and i was kinda hoping that when I find the girl I'm going to marry it would just go away :'(

>>17373798
>Don't those require experience and a diploma?

Get your GED. Some do, a lot don't.

I wasted money going to a trade school only to get fired during the recent economic downturn. Got a job as a corrections officer and I'm 10 years away from retiring at age 40 with a shitload of benefits.

Might go back and get a degree and move to another state department, and the state will pay for it, but first my wife is finishing up her degree.

And your time with the state often transfers to other states.

Wish people had told me about this shit when I was in highschool so I wouldn't have wasted years of my life going to college/trade school first before I really knew what I was capable of. If you had asked me what I wanted, or even thought I could be, "correctional officer" is not something I would have ever considered.

>>17372986
Hi from a 41 year old!

I encourage anyone who doesn't know what he wants to do with his life to be unafraid to shift gears later on. I changed careers completely in my late 30s and became much happier.

I also encourage people not to worry if they're not sleeping around. I was a manslut for a few years in my youth and was not happy; I only actually started enjoying my sex life when I settled down. You get better at pleasing someone and being pleased with practice, and comfort with a person ought to empower you to be honest about what you want, and unafraid to ask for it.

Last but maybe not least, don't be a dick about not wanting kids, assuming you don't want kids. It just makes you come across as obnoxious, and you may feel foolish if you change your mind.

I was convinced I didn't want kids for most of my life. Then, much to my surprise, I changed my mind when I was about thirty. My sons are the hardest and best thing that has ever happened to me, bar none.

I may have other advice if anyone has questions.

My dad died when I was 16. At that time I was going through a lot with drugs and when he died I was still on probation.I had gotten caught stealing his prescription drugs and at one point was robbing people for drugs a little after he had died. I also sold a lot of drugs. He died seeing be as a desperate loser.

I'm 22 now and don't even drink Soda or smoke cigarettes anymore. I'm 4 classes away from my associates, which isn't much, but is great considering the fact that before he passed I was talking about dropping out of school all together. I work 3 jobs, I've helped my mom out a lot and started boxing and I'm soon going to fight in the amateurs.


How do I keep going knowing he won't ever see any of these things, and things I accomplish in the future? No I don't plan I'm stopping like a beta, but shit just hurts sometimes I guess.

Me and my mom are cool, but its not the same. Her bond is with my lil brother who was 8 when my dad passed so they're just closer.

>>17373858
How did you discover this site and why dkd you stay?

>>17373858
how bad is it to be 40? how does your physical shape change compared to your 20s, how much free time do you have in comparison?
how stressful is it to handle your life 100% with no one looking out for you?

>>17373871

4chan is nearly 13 years old. Lots of people have been posting here the whole time.

I've moved from /b/ to /d/ to /m/ and /k/ and finally to /co/ and /tg/.

>>17373065
Did the anti-depressants make you uninterested in women? I'm on a litany of them and don't really give a flying fuck about women anymore, but still fap about once a day anyway

>>17373884
I know it's just that i don't see what is this site's appeal for older people. The whole thing has the mindset of younger people.

>/m/
Do you watch anime?

>>17373889
Not that guy but when I was on them i didn't even masterbate.

Literally 30 days after I voluntary stopped taking them I found a gf and she was my gf for a good 2 1/2 years.

>>17373900
>I know it's just that i don't see what is this site's appeal for older people. The whole thing has the mindset of younger people.

Not going to lie, I don't browse like I used to, and there's a lot more shitposting than there used to be, but still some interesting discussions to browse. Especially on /tg/ where I like to keep up with warmachine and D&D generals.

>>Do you watch anime?

Yep. Never got into the whole moe thing: Upotte and Girls Und Panzer being exceptions, but that's more about how surprisingly accurate they were on the /k/ aspects.

>>17373915
You sound like a bro.

Yeah, i never entered the moe train either.

>>17373926

I know this guy who's like 50, smokes cigars and drinks scotch, and is basically Winston Churchill and can talk his way into the pants of women 10 or 20 years younger than him who still watches anime.

He started way back in the 80's in college, where all they had aside from crappy dubs on TV were shitty VHS copies of Space Battleship Yamato straight from Japan.

I'm 23 I just got a job at a k-12 private school as a security job. I'm waiting to get into nursing school, I have all the requirements just waiting to get accepted . am I a loser?

>>17373871
>How did you discover this site and why dkd you stay?
I discovered the site when it was only a few weeks old... I would have been in my late 20s. I used to be a closet anime fan. I was quite into it, but didn't admit to it among any of my IRL friends, so I was interested in finding online places to discuss the stuff. I've since grown out of anime, and I come and go at 4chan; I find a few of the boards quite interesting, and it's been curious to keep abreast of a major source of pop culture and memes. But I lurk more than participate except in various old people threads.
>how bad is it to be 40?
It's OK. I have more confidence and more money than I ever did before, at least. I own a house, I have a family. I know who I am. These are good things. I don't feel much need to put on airs or fake it anymore.
>how does your physical shape change compared to your 20s,
I am older and fatter, developing a bit of back pain, getting weaker. But I work out.
>how much free time do you have in comparison?
I have two small kids (I had kids late), so I have not a lot of free time at all. But I enjoy the time I do have.
>how stressful is it to handle your life 100% with no one looking out for you?
The issue isn't that nobody's looking out for me--my wife is looking out for me, among other people. The sometimes-stressful part is looking out for others (my kids, my wife). It's mostly fine--again, I have more money and confidence than I used to. I put myself last, so I'm really not worried about me at all. And as corny as it sounds, the stress I feel about looking out for others is kind of positive, because it feels meaningful.

only go to college for a job or if you're rich. fuck teaching

>>17373984
>am I a loser?

If you pay your bills and enjoy what you do with your time off, then no.

You don't become a loser until you sit around feeling miserable for yourself and never do anything because you're afraid of failing in the eyes of some stranger who honestly doesn't give two shits about you.

My wife went through a similar thing, where she saw my brother and sister-in-law getting a house, having a baby, and my brother starting a business. She felt like we were stagnating because we rented, she still hadn't gotten her degree and we only made 55k the previous year.

Fast forward to a family reunion, and we find out that my brother and his wife are neck deep in debt, his business is having trouble, they argue like cats and dogs and are in therapy, and she secretly admitted to my wife that she was desperately afraid of being pregnant again because she knew jack shit about birth control.

Can't hold yourself to other peoples' standards. Learn to be happy with your own life.

is there ever a point at which you begin to accept that this place is filled with terrible people who want nothing but to hurt and defile each other as is human nature? i feel like a fucking fedorafag saying it but jesus christ all ive seemed to learn after leaving college was nobody is ever really happy and you struggle 80% of ur life for 20% of it to be well-sustained. is that all we get in this life?

>>17373984
my brother is 23 years old and sells weed out of my parents house. he also sits in his room all day smoking and watching family guy. hasnt had a job in 3 years. that's a fucking loser. you're doing well for yourself anon

>>17374013
>>17374027
Thanks, I put a lot of stress on myself . I feel like shit because I haven't finished nursing school. Is this all part of the grind ?

Kill yourself before you get married or have kids because the thought of them being alone will keep you from doing it.

I would have killed myself by now if not for my family.

That's not a positive. I wish I had done it ten years ago.

>>17374039
>"is this all part of the grind"
the grind is all there is, or ever will be

>>17374039
>Is this all part of the grind ?

It is. Everybody lives at their own pace. As long as you aren't an actual drain/harm to others and you're actually doing stuff, you're golden.

Honestly, as I mentioned before in the thread, being an adult is in and of itself pretty easy. Go to work, pay some bills, and then you're pretty much free to do whatever the fuck you want.

Anything that goes wrong is either some kind of freak accident (illness, death, financial ruin) or just you not separating yourself from bullshit.

>>17373794
>There are so many dorky women in the mid to late 20's who feel the same way. If you have any other nerdy friends, you'll meet them.
Are they attractive though? I lost touch with nearly all my nerdy friends. Does this mean I'm fucked?

https://youtu.be/sTJ7AzBIJoI

This song belongs here

>>17374045
>>17374046
Sometimes I think I'm too hard on myself cuz I get bummed out, about me still not having school done. But I think it might also be good cuz that shame and self deprivation motivates me to keep moving

>>17374009
It's funny you mention this, cause I've found at my current job that I'd probably be a good teacher. Only thing is, I don't want to teach. I hate school, and I believe teachers *do* before teaching. Pass on what you have learned [from doing] you know?

>>17374058
>Are they attractive though? I lost touch with nearly all my nerdy friends. Does this mean I'm fucked?

Are you that attractive?

Because if you are, then it won't matter if you're sexually inexperienced because women will tolerate almost any amount of bullshit from a decent looking guy.

If you aren't all that conventionally attractive, then suck it up because you're a pot calling the kettle black.

>>17374067

You should want to finish school because you want to finish school and do whatever comes after it. It's basically your job at the moment.

Going down the "I suck" shame spiral as a form of motivation is dangerous because you can easily slip into a "Why even bother, I suck anyway" attitude. You aren't really motivating yourself so much as you're reacting out of fear.

>>17372986
>Nothing is given, everything is earned. Winning without effort if it happens is not nearly as satisfying.
>Avoid caffeine for a more natural sleep/wake cycle
>Help others if you can - especially if the solution comes easy to you. That said, teach them along the way so they can help others.
>Most people think they are special - they are not, but they will find every reason possible to attribute their failures to outside forces.
>Along those lines, own all of your own failures. If you can't own your failures then you can't own your successes.
>Show integrity and be a person others can count on to make things happen even, and especially, when others can't be relied upon to do the same
>People will disappoint you frequently. If you can count on anyone else in life be grateful and don't take it for granted.
>The way you think affects what you achieve. If you think like a loser and dwell on the negative, then negative will come to you. If that sounds like some new age bullshit I agree, but even still I find that focusing on the positive & practical solutions to a bad situation is always better.
>The way you live your life will determine how people will react to your name. Whether they love you or hate you, if you act with integrity and follow through on what you say, the good name you've established for yourself can open doors.

As some background, I started off barely able to rub together two pennies as a teenager after my family was buried in medical debt. I am not rich, but I make a very good living, have a family who loves and respects me, and everyone in my company of thousands knows who I am and my name carries weight.

Thanks a lot guys for the input, I really fucking appreciate it

>>17373142
I've been going through something like this that is pretty fair advice its better to start now than waste time

>>17374099
This anon brings up great advice about ego I forgot in my above post.>>17374099
>Confidence is important, but it's a fine line between being confident and allowing your ego to get in the way of your growth. Good call, anon

A muffuckah cain't control his surroundings but a muffuckah can control they mind.

t. og thuglife

>>17373870
You are doing it for yourself.
I mean, i'm sorry for you, losing your father. Really.
But you've overcome your struggles so far, have become a person, i'd consider strong. with your strenght you'll be able to Continue enriching your life and the life of your loved ones.

Anyways, im not good with such things, but i want to Tell you:

Anon, i'm proud of you, keep on fighting.

>>17374118

/signed. Is that still a thing?

>>17373870
Bump

>>17374118
Man idk. It just sucks knowing that was his last impression of me..I don't believe in heaven or the afterlife but sometimes if like to think its there to know that he'd be watching.

Thank you anon :'(

>>17372986
40 here . Oldfag since 2007.

Advice

Enjoy life in moderation
Never surrender control of your ability to choose
Find out what your standard of morals and ethics are and stick to them as long as you must until it's time to not stick to them
Always question the news you read
Always read something
Always keep your computer skills current
Get an education...be it certifications or a degree...get some kind of skill that can transfer between jobs
Never sacrifice your own security or stability for pussy
Do your best not to lie. Truthfullness is so much easier to manage
Lie only when you need to and I'd it's for the greater good
Keep a budget
Keep your ass out of debt
Live a spartan lifestyle. Clutter is the bane of an orderly and calm life
Meditate 3x a week for 10 to 20 minutes.
Travel when you can
Learn automotive care
Learn computer maintenance
Learn the shit out of Microsoft office
Learn how to run your own business. The lessons you learn will be invaluable
Educate yourself about the basics of anatomy, cellular bioligy, and medicine.
Brush your cats or dogs teeth regularly
Dont date people you find in bars
Develope a group of friends who have done something with themselves in life
If posaible, retain good relationships with your family
Don't dismiss the sense of community you may gain from being a part of your local church or faith.
Always try to keep a few hundred dollars in savings for unexpected events
Do not have children until you have a secure and stable life
Always insist on a prenup
Always keep your finances separate from your spouse or partners finances
Always pay your portion of the bills in a money order made out to the respective company
Don't relocate across the globe for love
Learn how to fight
Learn how to cook
Learn how to hunt
Learn how to farm

>>17374156

Marriage went south?

>>17374122
Signed? What do you mean with your post?
>>17374138
I'd be proud to call a man like you my son.
He would be as well.
Some things cannot be changed unfortunately. But i really wish that you'll find Peace one day

>>17374177
>>Signed? What do you mean with your post?

I see it isn't.

Back in the old internet days, it's how one would show their agreement with or support for something someone else had posted.

life is like a box of chalklets

>>17374175
Married mid 20s. Did the stoically typical male provider. Earn the bread, fuck the wife good and often and outdoors , got us both into and through college. She cheated on me multiple times behind my back. Found out, threw her out. Divorced shortly after. She ended up scamming my single friends just to keep her head afloat.

Opened my eyes a bit, took some of the trusting nature outa me. Bit more realistic now. Don't want guys or gals to follow in those slightly ignorant footsteps with blinders on

I'm 35, and really think that my purpose in life is to serve as a warning to others. Hey, that's something right?

Okay, I should probably give some advice....let's see. Don't make your career decisions based solely on money.

>>17374470
Why not? I'm 20 and I think is rather be rich and miserable than poor and miserable

>>17374614
i think what he was trying to say is try not to make your life miserable

>>17374622
I already hate myself so I'd rather be rich as well

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>>17373046
>tfw 29 and 3/4ths and I've fucked up on every point of this list

39 here. Fairly successful in life with a good career. Not so successful with girls. Dunno if I can give good advice or not, but you can ask if you want.

>>17373858
>I also encourage people not to worry if they're not sleeping around.
wow its so easy for people who already fucking did it

>>17374614

Well, I'm poor and pretty happy most of the time.

>>17374156
>Always pay your portion of the bills in a money order made out to the respective company
Why a money order? I don't get this. Oh, as in if you pay your roommates? Couldn't you just write a check?

>>17374470
I feel the same way, anon.

>>17373649
>Could you elaborate on
>> Well, as soon as you reach one goal, you have another. So, enjoy the moments I guess.
Sure.

When I was in high school I just wanted to get to a good college because things would be better then. When I was in college I just wanted to get that degree so I could have a good job. Then I got a good job and just felt empty.

What I missed was to enjoy the journey, because the end result isn't much of anything. I was just doing things in the present for some end results I thought would be better, rather than trying to enjoy the present.

>>17372986
31yo guy here
>Don't fuck someone you couldn't picture raising your child
>Never assume anything, presume if you must
>Realise that you invent a lot of the small details about whoever you deem to be perfect
>Don't sleep with someone without first discussing what happens if she falls pregnant first, if you haven't had this conversation first then you shouldn't sleep with them
>Always wear protection, doesn't matter if she says she is on the pill and is clean, wear a rubber
>Maintain your health, eat somewhat healthy, jog 2 nights a week or join a gym, try and do yoga if possible to reduce your chances of getting various aches and pain
>Make sure you are learning something every day, read books on a topic that interest you or study something part time that helps your career choice
>Nobody knows what they want to do, I didn't even know what I wanted to do at 26, if you are unsure learn things that can be applied across the board (a business qualification or IT skills will help you in more jobs than an art degree)
>Judge everyone equally, don't give those you like a free pass
>Fact check news articles, many of them omit important details purely to exploit the reader's interest
>Cut down the amount of "reality" TV you watch, you can be learning or improving with your life in the hours you waste watching other people live theirs
>Learn a form of self defence, if you aren't practising by hitting someone in a controlled environment you are wasting your time
>Don't learn self defence from anywhere that you can earn a black belt in less than 3 years, or anywhere that doesn't require a decent level of fitness
>Call your parents at least once a week and grandparents at least once a fortnight, they will appreciate it
>If you aim to be everywhere 15 minutes early you will seldom be late
>Don't waste your time on alternative cultures, you may find friends being a goth, but the majority will grow out of it, hone your skills in a regular social environment
more coming up

>>17375864
>Keep a spare change of clothes in your car, along with a hi vis vest and a warm waterproof coat
>Learn to change a tyre on your own
>Check your oil levels and coolant level once a week
>Spend one day a fortnight improving your home, clean the windows, reorganise a room, clean up, whatever makes home feel more like home
>Save 10% of your income every month and put them into a savings account, chop up the bank card if you must
>Try and save some money from each payslip to pay for next month's bills
>Join meetup if you struggle to meet new people, you will find a club with relevant interests in your area
>Avoid working on birthdays of loved ones
>Avoid working on Christmas day, spend it with your loved ones
>Get a medical check up every so often
>Don't put off niggling health concerns, bad backs get worse over time and take longer to fix, coughing for a month is also not a good sign
>Always try and win over your significant other, don't get comfy otherwise you lose the "spark"
>Don't move in with someone you have never spend a week with on stop
>Don't propose to someone before you have been together for at least 18 months
>Learn to let people down, if you can't make an event or don't want to go, let them know that you are busy rather than getting their hopes up
>Watch out for vulnerable people, you don't have to take them under your wing or befriend them, but you can save a lot of people from heartache if you keep predators away or even report it to the relevant authorities
>Don't eat your food at work or at your desk, eat outside or elsewhere if possible, even if it is your car
>Your car isn't your personal space, don't decorate it with family stick people, stickers or anything that identifies you
>The speed limit is a limit, not a target
>Avoid road rage if you can, the other person probably has a plan for if you stop, you don't
>No job is beneath you, regardless of what you think, going out and making money is better than moping around at home

>>17375914
>The speed limit is a limit, not a target
Kek

>>17372986
dont shit where you eat
ie dont fuck your friends, co workers, etc
do not tolerate disrespect from anyone, especially a gf/bf. you dont have to be all macho man randy savage about it, but dont be afraid to cut people off and walk away from things that are doing you wrong
ingest lsd-25 at least once
learn to play music, shit feelsgoodman
you cannot change people, it is disrespectful to try. you cannot fix mentally ill people, it is foolish and wasteful to try.
dont bother trying to control anything but yourself. this will spare you a lot of stress.

>>17375864
>>Don't fuck someone you couldn't picture raising your child
Don't listen to this unless you want to be a wizard.

>>17375914
>Your car isn't your personal space.
I'd argue it is, but I agree with not decorating it. It's not a place to relax since it becomes easier to have a wreck.

>>17376001
>you cannot change people,
This varries from person to person
> it is disrespectful to try
Not if they're hurting themselves, the ones they love or some other sappy nonsense

>>17375914
>>Your car isn't your personal space, don't decorate it with family stick people, stickers or anything that identifies you
Except it literally is. Why cant other people enjoy the things they've worked to earn?
>18 months
As someone with actual long term relationship expirence, wait considerably longer unless you like divorce.
>Eat in your car
What? Do you belong to some old 50's fat cat suit deal where they judge you based on your eating habits?

>>17375467
>wow its so easy for people who already fucking did it
Didn't mean it as a slight, dude. My point was that it's probably not as good as you think it is.

>>17372986
30 year old anon here... Ask me anything

Random Advice-Take care of your teeth. If you think you take care of them, you aren't, take care of them more.

Seriously, not fucking around.

>>17376028
youll learn as you grow, champ. dont sweat it

>>17376072
In job interviews...Don't tell them why you should work there, make them tell you why you should work there.

>>17374027
Pretty sure your brother is employed as a drug dealer, anon.

>>17376074
You can put some effort into your post next time, you know? Its okay.

>>17373323
Senti por você, anão. Voce ja oensou em arrumar um emprego e estudar? Faca isso.
Sorry, my english is very bad, use translate.

>>17375864
>>Don't waste your time on alternative cultures, you may find friends being a goth, but the majority will grow out of it, hone your skills in a regular social environment

This is good advice. Its better to be you. People will naturally attract to you.

>>17376095
Como ele vai traduzir se o que tu escreveu tá errado?

I can relate, anon. Have you thought about finding a job and studying? Do that.

>>17373325
Where did you meet 18-19 year olds when you were in your late 20s?

>own, learn how to use, and if you can carry a firearm
>learn what an Eagle Scout does. Buy the book and learn; it could save your life.
>if you're too lazy for that, at least learn how to swim
>take every spare penny you have and spend it on gold
>make yourself a budget and stick to it.
>for one weekend a month, eat little to nothing, sleep outside, wear crap clothing. It will make you grateful.
>own up to your decisions. Don't fuck around with them.
>do not under any circumstances go on psychotropic drugs. Let your drug usage be recreational or the occasional antibiotic directly attributable to a cause.
>lie to psychologists; no one should really know what you're thinking except for you
>take some psychology courses as self-defense. They are idiots who can still control your future. Beware.
>you are in a surveillance society. Expect someone to be taking your picture and turning it into a meme. So either don't give af or present yourself differently.
>same is true for what you say. People record that shit. If you don't want it haunting you forever, don't say it.
>don't record yourself having sex, with or without consent. Trust me.
>don't buy trendy clothing ever. Buy the most expensive conservative clothing you can max out your credit cards on, and you will be set for 15-20 years. Best investment you can make.
>learn spanish. If you know it already, learn Russian. If you know all of that you lucky fuck, learn Mandarin.


And, finally,

>rub her feet

Some more random advice from a 30yo anon

>Chasing females is adolescent. Once you stop chasing them, you will have more options that you know what to do with.
>For men, focus on work and career. Take pride in what you do, no matter what it is.
>Write notes down for every aspect of your life. Review these notes for at least 15 min a day.
>Learn proper hygiene. Emphasis on PROPER. In my opinion, only 30% of people actually know how to take care of themselves.
>Hygiene is more than showering and grooming.
>My social status has never been affected by the vehicle I drive. Driving a $5k car without a car payment allows you to do way more socially than having a $50k car with an $800/month payment
>No matter how down you are about some chick, it passes. Shit hurts and everyone (especially men) goes through it at some point
>Alcohol can be traced to just about every major bad decision I have ever made. Use it lightly or better not at all. You will

Background:

>33
>found, and lost, a woman that should have been the one
>former opiate addict; year and a half clean
>best shape of my life
>active social life, a few close friends
>currently sleeping around, as I believe I will not find a connection like the one I have lost
>often mistaken for mid-twenties, sometimes younger
>in the process of finishing two degrees

I have had one Hell of a life, with both many positive, and negative, experiences.

If you have a particular question, feel free to ask, but I will not be able to answer until tonight.

General Advice:

>if you give your word, follow through; your word must be immutable
>treat all as you would yourself want to be treated; how you treat those that can do nothing for you will define you
>cultivate a couple close friendships with other men
>never fully invest yourself in a partner, in any capacity; you should take priority in your life
>do not allow your partner, or relationship, to define you
>moderation in all things; a binge, regardless of the alcohol or drug, should never exceed two days, and should have, at least, a two week break between use
>take care of your body, as age will destroy it; avoid pop, drink a lot of water, take fish oil and a multivitamin, and have a physical hobby
>if you enjoy your job, or career, your life will be much happier; do not be afraid to go back to school
>walk with your spine straight, and your eyes facing forward; do not be afraid to smile and say hi to strangers
>fake it until you make it; confidence is fucking key, in all things

>>17376162
Continued...

>Be informed. Watching the Daily Show is not informed
>Being a Bernie Sander supporter seems cool until you earn a real job and see 30% of your paycheck go bye bye
>Know the difference between a woman and a girl. Women respect men.
>Calculate risk/payoff on every decision you make.
>Every person you meet interacts with you for some kind of gain. This is the natural way of things.
>Capitalism is a good thing.
>Raise a pet before you raise a child
>Avoid making impulsive decisions at all costs
>Learn how to shop for groceries. Your entire life will become more efficient when your house is full of food and the things you need.
>When shopping learn that quality is better than quantity. For instance, Name brand laundry detergent lasts longer, makes your clothes nicer, and keeps them looking nicer for longer. It smells more "mature" too (think how a college dorm room smells)

>>17376113
Personally, I would never even think about having sex with an 18 year old unless I paid her.

28-29 for a female (who isn't crazy) is prrrriiimmmmeee real estate

>>17376223
fuck you.
I'm only 22 and now I miss holding her in my arm :(

>>17372986
Do any oldfags actually think about what became of a girl you were with even though it was just a night? Can one night mean more than whole relationships? Am I just being a pussy or will this feel never go away?

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>>17376538

>>17376549
ugh... It's sad how little it probably meant to her. I can't tell if I'm just super needy or if she was actually as great as I think

>>17376566
idk your story f@m

>>17373312
>Don't waste any fucking time with people (romantic partners) who don't respect you and don't give you anything but resounding return of your affections. I don't have many regrets in life, but in hindsight I can see I wasted way too much time and emotional energy on people who either used me, or whom I let use me. If one won't (love you), another one will. MOVE ON. There is always, always, someone else waiting around the corner. Seriously, don't waste any fucking time on chasing people. The 'right ones' don't need to be chased. You will be amazed at how easy falling in love with the right person is. Hard to understand when you're 21, but at 32, it is so head-bangingly obvious.

I'm 25 and this has been my greatest regret so far, and the biggest waste of my youth. I spent all of my adult life (since 17) romantically entangled with people I didn't really care for and I'm trying to develop my independence by staying single for a while, but lately I've been unsure that this is the right path and that maybe I should settle for someone. Thanks for the perspective.

Does 30 feel grown up cause I'm 24 and feel like a child inside.

>>17376710
31 here.

Kind of. You get better at dealing with life and its challenges, but deep down you always feel like you're 16 still.

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>>17372986

Disregard females, acquire currency

You will save yourself alot of headache,heart ache and self esteem issues if you do. Later on in life when you WELL ESTABLISHED you can start to dip your toes into dating.

By that time about half of your friends will have gone through a divorce, gotten all their money taken away, their homes confiscated and their kids kidnapped by the state and you will know to enter CAUTIOUSLY instead of sticking your penis into the first crazy that is willing to open her legs for you

not only that but dating will be all the more sweeter since you can do what you want, go on extravagant vacations, buy the expensive wines, etc with your significant other

>>17373412
just started to be interested in girls at that age, still took two more years until I had sex. I'm gonna advice to ride the selfimprovement train and casually talk to girls and make friends. when you can do that you can get a GF. Online dating is just a numbers game either. write to girls who have nice profiles and arent fat in the beginning, a lot of not so hot girls are pretty great partners.

if you are introverted, it will be hard to have an extroverted GF, they are hot and sexy, verbalising a lot of stuff but it's a big barrier for forming a LTR. introverted people are a lot stronger and resilent anyways.

>>17373592
not doing something, unless it's something illegal.
Everybody dreams of the quick cash that selling drugs offers, but it's a huge risk and not worth it in the long run. Same applies to rape. Sure you could have taken that drunk girl home that night, but unless you have a failproof plan, that doesnt exist and everything ready, you still need a lot of luck. Or a flexible asshole in prison.

There are very little risky things in life besides the illigal stuff, that you really regret doing. Everything is a lesson and everything changes your path and thereby changes you. The "Nope-way" is kind of depressive though.
Even bad sex teaches you

>>17375502
How?

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>>17372986
if you want to be less stressed , meditate
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GLjelIPg3ys

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>>17377595
and jon kabat-zinn is good
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SYET4Gf5q1g

I'm old and drunk.
You niggas want advice?