SO completely dependant on me

Be firm. She'll learn you won't leave her. But give into these demands of hers and you'll make your own life worse. You have to be the one to help her grow up, and it is the strong hand that she needs right now, not a gentle one.

>>17372789
not even two years and this chick is convinced she won't be safe without you? what the fuck kind of baggage causes that?

>>17372882
Talked to her therapist and has been told that I need to be firm, but her therapy is laid up so she takes things step by step to get better so she uses that against me.

>>17372823
Childhood phobia of throwing up, manifests itself in lots of ways like OCD-like behavior. Last fall we moved to a new city for her education and she had several panic attacks and couldn't reach me because phone was out. BIG stepbacks in her progress and even more dependant behavior.

Thing I missed in the OP was I had to skip school for over a month because she could not reach me once while in school so she had several panic attacks and cut up her legs in the 50 minutes that I did not respond. The times I've been out of the house after that I've had to be either on the phone or messaging every five minutes...

>>17372919

It sounds like you're enabling her which is influencing her behaviour even more. I used to act this way when I was about 18, then I grew up.

Not being a dick, I know some phobias are genuine and inexplicable but she really does sound like she's just overly possessive of you and wants to control you emotionally, which is what she's doing perfectly.

Of course you won't listen to this because you've already spent most of your posts defending her, but it'll hit you eventually.

You're stopping living your life because of her and that's making her happy because she knows you have no life for her to possibly lose you to. All hidden under the guise of a "phobia".

You need to show her that being apart isn't a bad thing and is a normal part of being in a relationship and an adult.

>>17372952
I know I defend her alot. I feel like I've been pulled into this behavior and don't know how to stop. I want this to become a normal relationship so I can see my friends and actually go out when I want to. Now I don't even bother because of all the energy spent explaining and asking her..

I just don't know what to do without ending everything. I don't want to be this way and I don't want to live this way any more. I'm thankful for you putting it bluntly, even though I can't tell you exactly how the situation is. It gives me courage.

You need to leave on this established trip. Do not take the train. Her parents won't let anything happen. Live your life.

>>17373002
A mistake was to say that we would decide it together and compromise so it would be good for both of us. This morning we had a very long talk and I just couldn't take it any more so I gave in with the train thing. Or said that I'd think about it. She's going to use it against me and say that we were supposed to decide together and that I lied to her. It makes me feel like shit. Should I just be firm and tell her I need to go anyway. She just says that it's something we should decide together, but I can't anymore. Everything about this, all the times I've skipped meeting friends and family for her sake, it's catching up and it's destroying this relationship.. But after the talk this morning as soon as I left her alone she cut herself again.